For unto us...

Well, Merry Christmas blog readers.

Every time I check this site I'm amazed to see where all you readers are coming from.  I find myself wondering who you are, what your life's about, how you found SFS and what, in each particular case, you 'get' from your visits.

I was reading my first post recently and it's quite the thing to see the progression.  What's most interesting (for me) is to watch the comments start appearing and then the visitors arriving by ones and twos.  I remember being told in first-year marketing that 'word of mouth' is the best kind of marketing and that most of us promptly forget that fact the second we find ourselves with something to market.  Just over a thousand of you stop by each month so somebody must be talking to somebody...

I started writing this here blog right in the middle of what was, at the time, the most difficult phase of my personal/professional life that'd I'd ever endured.  I realize that can sound melodramatic, but from my perspective things were looking pretty bleak.

I'd resigned from my Church (a Church my wife and I had planted in January 2001) and found myself, all of a sudden, with no audience, no outlet for my 'communicative urge' and very few prospects of that vacuum every correcting itself.  Sure, I was working as a Director but there's a big difference between speaking to a thousand or so people (cumulative) each month and working on one piece of communication over the course of two years.

(to say nothing of the fact that my salary was a big fat goose-egg...)

Just not the 'rate of return' I'd been used to.

Anyway, I was driven to start writing by an almost physical urge to communicate something to someone.

I felt like my 'something' was a strange fusion of pulpit and screen and that this blog might be an honest chronicle of my struggles (personally and professionally) as I fought to find meaning in life and a way to encapsulate said meaning in the things I produced.

Things have changed somewhat since I started writing.  For one thing there are now 102 posts where, at first, there were none (they're worth visiting sometime...) For another, my life has filled up considerably with work that--strangely enough--is all about communicating meaning and hope for the screen.

(and--thank God--my salary's not currently a goose-egg...)

2009 looks like a very interesting year both in TV and feature-film making for me and those with whom I work.  I'm looking forward to continuing to share that process with you and I will continue to hope that you 'get' something out of your visits.

The above shot is last night at our house.  Niki and I were just about to hit the sack, our babies already asleep waiting for Santa.  I figured I'd snap a quick shot, naturally lit, to commemorate Christmas 2008, a Christmas where, against all odds, my wife and I had the means to buy gifts and food for our babies who slept peacefully in a house we can afford to own and heat and light.

A photo that says in less than a thousand words that we have been provided for, are being provided for, and shall be provided for.

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given, and the government shall be upon His shoulders and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace..."

The Provider.

Happy Christmas everybody.

With love and respect.

T

Where I work...

Thought some of you might like this.  A shot of the neighborhood in Vancouver (Yaletown) where I spend most of my time.  Our 'studio' (a tiny, very humble, glorified 'office' really) is just up the street from where I took this shot.

I took this while on a walk with my wife and babies back in October.  It was a lovely Saturday morning and the light was just right.

I figured I should post a little peace and happiness after my last harangue.  

'Cause sometimes you're stuck on a plane next to two hacking men (and their cold feels like it's starting to catch on in my throat just now...) but sometimes...

You're walking with your loved ones in the sun.

Life's not all one thing.

It's an assembly.

(and, of course, an 'assembly' is what you call the first cut of a film and a '[sacred] assembly' is what a Church service is sometimes called, so the analogy fits our focus here at SFS...)

Piece by piece, you stick at it and--eventually--end up seeing something beautiful built in the midst of it.

So, if you're a little on the 'bleak' side of things today, take a second to notice the light in that shot and then take a moment to find the light within you.

It's there.  I guarantee it.

Just search.

T

All I can smell is humanity...

So the blog's been dormant for a couple days.

Sorry 'bout that.

Here's why...

Thursday last, I had to fly to Calgary to interview Preston Manning, founder of Canada's Reform Party, which today has morphed into our governing party.

For three days previous I'm busting my hump to try and book flights.  Impossible.  Sure, I can find flights there, but back to Toronto, days before Christmas?  No chance.  

The interview with Preston is for a special we're shooting Jan 10th called 'Right is Right' that'll explore the impact the 'religious right' has had on the Canadian political scene.  The idea is to see if the RR's influence is waxing or waning.

Anyway, Preston will be the key guest.

So, we HAD to get there.

Ended up booking my Director and I there on WestJet direct, first thing in the morning.  Our crew flew out from Vancouver to meet us.  No worries.  The way back though required that I fly my Director, business class, back through Winnipeg to Toronto.  I got to fly economy through Chicago to Toronto so that we could save $800.  My Director HAD to be back as early as possible to get some last-minute editing done before the Christmas break and the business class flight got him home earlier in the day so we ate the $800 for him 'cause it was one of two available seats.  I got the other one, through Chicago.

Anyway...

We're getting ready to shoot the Manning interview.  All our gear's ready to go and our DP gets a text from Air Canada on her iPhone saying that if you're planning to fly east Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or Monday you'd better go tonight or else.

And they were going to switch you for free so long as there was space on the planes.

So, we rush out of there, fighting our way through Calgary rush hour (minus 25 degrees outside, roads still snow covered a week after a storm 'cause they don't bother salting the roads when it's that cold outside...) and get to the airport 31 minutes before our flight.  Turns out they DID have space.

Karl, my Director, got 3A in business class.  I got 21E in steerage, wedged between two dudes. Two dudes who coughed and hacked the whole five hours to Montreal.

Yes, Montreal.

(I was not a happy camper...)

We were supposed to arrive at 11:30pm but, because it was Air Canada (who I've refused to fly for nearly eight years 'cause they suck so bad...) we didn't arrive 'till 1:15am.

Lovely.

We get our luggage, head back up to departures to try and check in for our 5:00am flight to Toronto.  Yup, 5:00am.  There are three people in front of us waiting to check in.  The first person finishes.  The attendants pack up and leave.  

"Sorry, we don't do 24-hour check in, you'll have to come back at 3:30am..."

Friggin' french people.

That's how I felt, for real.

So instead of the 'comfy' carpets and waiting lounge chairs at the gate we got to wander the concrete wasteland of Trudeau airport for half and hour 'till we found a corner to crash.  Tried to sleep for a couple hours.  Kept getting woken up by arriving crew and...

Two thousand Quebecers flying to Cuba.

Seriously.

3:00am, we get up, and are surrounded by a howling mass of humanity trying to get checked in for their southbound flights.

We head back to the Air Canada counter.  No one's there.  Wait a half-hour 'till they arrive to check us in then head to clear security.  No-one's there either.  We have to wait in line for an hour ('till 4:30am) or face losing our place in line to the Cuban hordes.  

4:45am they let us through security.  5:00am we board, but because it's Air Canada, we don't lift off 'till 6:00am and we're supposed to be in Toronto by 6:15am.

You can see where this is going.

We arrive in Toronto, and because it's Air Canada, they can't get the gate to the plane so we hang out for another thirty minutes--or maybe it was the Montreal flight that happened on.

At least they didn't lose my luggage.

(Oh wait, I only had carry-on 'cause damned if I'm THAT stupid.  It was eight years ago, but I haven't forgotten...)

By the time I got home I'd been awake and on the road for 30 hours!

Merry Christmas.

But, Chicago is still shut down.  If I hadn't endured the 30-hour trip home, I'd likely still be cooling my heels in Chi-town instead of happily ensconced at home with my family and the nearly three feet of snow that's fallen since the morning I got back.

All for Preston.

All for the show.

All for the career.

All for the family.

The SFS point being that sometimes you just gotta' knuckle down and do what you need to do to get the thing done so that you can keep moving forward regardless of how difficult or distasteful that 'thing' is.  And that kind of tenacity is almost a requirement if you want to operate at a level that's anything past the mundane.  As if 'discomfort' just goes with the territory.

Suck it up Todd.  Suck it up.

I did tell my Executive Producer we have to give some serious thought to business class next time though because...

All I could smell was humanity.

T

My conversation with an Icon...

Thought some of you (or your grandparents) might get a kick out of this one.  The show won't air for some weeks, but what's the point of showrunning your own series if you can't post some bootleg footage on your personal blog?

That's Dr. Robert Schuller, founder of 'The Crystal Cathedral' right there.  For those of you who are, perhaps, less saturated in the 'faith market', Robert Schuller is, after Billy Graham, probably the best-known, most influential TV Preacher in modern history.

He is to the faith-based market, what Stephen Spielberg is to film.

I read his biography when I was a teenager and his story of entrepreneurial spirit mixed with a spiritual motivation and the desire to make a positive impact on people living in a dark World had a HUGE impact on me, and my journey.

It was a thrill to interview him.

I hope I don't come across as starstruck (on-camera) as I felt in-person.

Enjoy.

T

need a lift?

Peep this.

T

the simplicity of it all...

No joke, one of the most important tools for the 'stay at home' filmmaker/preacher.

I'm currently listening to Nichole Nordeman's 'THIS MYSTERY' on the above FANTASTIC headphones, a Christmas gift from my Executive Producer/Business Partner and friend, the ever so lovely Mr. Tore Stautland (thanks Tore...) and, seeing as I'm fresh off John Mayer and Kanye's blogs I figured I'd post a 'thing' of my own that I'm currently thankful for.

Bose earphones.

The backstory on these is that I've wanted a pair for five years and haven't bought 'em.  I have circled the Bose store and Best Buy like an addict circling a fix, never actually closing the deal.

"Why don't you just buy 'em?"

Kinda' like my wife telling me I should just go out and BUY a friggin' flat screen TV already.

Yes, I'm a filmmaker, with an old-and-busted Toshiba 36inch tube set that just kicked the bucket (that we bought used for $150).  We tried for three or four weeks to watch the thing with no remote (the 'universal' one we bought didn't work too well--"...Sorry, this TV is SEVEN YEARS OLD, none of our codes will work...") but seeing as you can't manually switch to TSN (Canada's version of ESPN--and 'hello' to my Australian and East Asian readers...) and seeing as it's December in the NFL and seeing as both Sunday night football and Monday night football are on TSN we just couldn't have that, now could we?

So I was circling flat screens last month.

Couldn't bring myself to buy one though.

Part of the problem is that we're waiting to be renewed for 2009 on two of the TV series I produce which means any capital expenditure is strictly forbidden right now and part of it is I don't want to buy something of that magnitude unless I really LOVE it and that means a SAMSUNG 52inch Series 7 120hz model and that means I not only need a renewal but a RAISE.

'Cause the $800 Zenith at COSTCO just wouldn't cut it long-term.

So, instead of buying something just for the sake of buying it, I drove to my in-law's and 'borrowed' their ten year old 27inch SONY tube set.  Thing's so heavy, I could barely get it to the car then into our house.

Great picture and awesome sound though AND it pulled in TSN.

The point here is not consumerism.

The point is I'm turning into my GRANDPARENTS.

I was at my brother in-law's house this past weekend in Montreal wearing a sweater he gave me ten years ago.  He can't believe I still have it and wear it.  It's a great sweater, why should I replace it?  Then I looked at our 13 year old coffee grinder this morning, still happily ensconced in it's original cardboard packaging.  I thought to myself, looking at it, that Niki and I might still have that same grinder when we're as old as my grandparents.  Then I took out our 12 year old african coffee mugs and thought about the flashy new Christmas ones I didn't buy for my wife at my local Vancouver Starbucks last month and I realized...

That I'm turning into my GRANDPARENTS.

They kept everything.  Seemed  to always be content with what they had (both grandfathers were car freaks who treated their K-Car and Buick [respectively] as if they were Bentleys. Never saw nicer specimens of either...) never got rid of something that worked just 'cause they were bored with it and didn't have more than three dressy outfits.  I still remember my grandma's reaction when grandpa bought her a real fur coat.  Her one unrestrained luxury.

Seeing as grandma just turned 100 and, therefore, isn't 'out' too much, the coat has gone to my mom.  She came by in it the other day, had had it cleaned and repaired a bit, and the thing looked like a million bucks.

Just like it did on my missionary grandma.

And I'm realizing as I write this that we might all be better off to be a bit more like our Zenith-watching grandparents.

"Credit crunch?  What credit crunch?  You don't by it unless you can afford to pay cash for it."

That's what they'd say.

Maybe we should all be more like our grandparents.  

Do your grandparents grow their own veggies?  My wife's Nonna and Nonno do.  Do your grandparents read their Bibles more than they watch Desperate Housewives?  My Grammie and Poppa do.  Did your grandparents build a cottage with their own hands?  Is it still standing?  (yup)  When was the last time you built something with your hands?

The other point is that I don't think you should settle.

In life, as with flat screen TV's, you should do (get) the thing you know you should do.  That means you must always STRIVE for what you know is right.

(and an eye to the inner-life to make sure one is not lusting after the wrong TV is also good...)

And I'm not advocating becoming some stupid perfectionistic dick who's never satisfied, or an out of control 'artist' or a tyrannical 'super-pastor' or an impossible boss.  I'm just thinking that you shouldn't connect your happiness or satisfaction to an outside event.

You should know what's right and that should be enough.

Don't buy mugs 'cause you're lonely.  Think of your wife and hurry home.  Don't buy a Zenith 'cause you have room on your card.  Save for the Samsung.  Don't rush the scene to make your day but don't force an extra run of fussy coverage into it either.  Never (NEVER) shortchange an exegetical pass but make it so that your audience doesn't notice the work you did.

It's about humility.

Not the kind that most people think of (the 'oh I'm so meek and mild, might as well call me Mary...' kind) the kind that isn't fussy.  The kind that knows good from bad, that doesn't care about flash and pomp. The kind that rightly assesses personal value in self and others.

The kind that thinks of self (no matter how impressive your credits) as 'Just one of God's water boys...' as my Dad used to say.

The kind of humility that recognizes that we don't DESERVE anything, that everything is gift.

That K-Car?  A gift.  That ten year old coffee grinder?  Gift.  The money to pay for cable so I can watch Monday Night Football with my boys?  Gift.

Whether I watch the game on a flat screen or not is not going to change the scent wafting upwards from my son's freshly washed hair, nor improve the performance on the field, nor make my wife any more sexy after.  Plus I could afford to buy red wine for after.  Remember when $36 meant six hours (on a Saturday) life guarding?  

Gift.  Gift.  Gift.

It's Christmas season right?

Here's my vote for the simplicity of our forebears in our approach to Noel this year.

Here's to JM's blog being all about baking with his loved ones.

Here's to Kanye remembering his own line ('Cribs' vs 'Kids') from his new album.

Here's to "It's a Wonderful Life" on my simple, used, borrowed, tube TV.

Here's to a wife, some kids, and love for the Maker this Christmas.

Here's to you doing what you do with simplicity, humility, and a thankful heart.

You want some Christmas Spirit?  It's already in you, waiting...

T

Hold my hand...

We're often quick to share our victories and slow when it comes to the defeats.

The whole purpose of this blog is to be transparent about my journey as I exchange the pulpit for the screen, a journey fraught with difficulty, sorrow, challenge, triumph, excitement and joy in the hopes that said transparency might 'speak' into your life, your journey, your difficulties, sorrows, challenges, triumphs, excitements and joys.

So lemme' tell you about my pitch meeting today.

I didn't sleep well last night, as is typically the case when I've got an important meeting.  My Executive Producer picked me up and we got downtown on time--no problem.  We met with the team at the post-production facility to make sure everything was working and seamless. No problem there either.

The network bosses arrived ten minutes late (which is 'on time' in our industry) settled in, got a quick tour, and we rolled the 8-minute reel we'd assembled.  It seemed to connect with them.

Then one of the executives started with her questions.

And I knew, almost right away, that I'd failed to 'make the connection' in the way I was hoping.  

Her eyes weren't alight, she wasn't 'vibing' with me.  I could've called it there and gone home.  I didn't though.  We retired to the boardroom where I had a bunch of snazzy folios done and a cheese plate and some fruit and ice water and...

Network bosses who didn't appear to be feeling the love.

It's hard, this business of peddling dreams.

So, we saw it all the way through, talked it around, shook hands, walked down to the car and my Executive Producer hit me with it...

"Well, that went great didn't it?"  (!)

And he laughed, and I sat there for the next forty-five minutes, deeply glum and feeling like I suck, have no talent and am in the wrong business.

It took me 'till about 4:30pm today to shake it off.

Then things got worse, as staff issues reared their ugly head, and I got the first edit of the new shows we just shot in the new studio, and though they look great, there are audio problems.

Audio problems.

Sigh.  Sigh.  Siiiiigggghhhh...

And so here I sit with the wife, having drowned some sorrow in pralines and cream ice cream with a starbucks oat fudge bar split in two and some egg nog with a wee touch 'o rum in it and the Bears are playing the Saints and we keep reminding ourselves that we need to "Keep Moving Forward..."

We toasted to that.

Keep Moving Forward.

'Cause not every pitch, not ever sermon, not every idea, not every relationship is going to be a slam dunk.

But those who keep at it and keep at it and keep it generally turn out okay.

Here's hopin'...

T

ps: plus COREY FELDMAN is the feature guest on my show this Sunday night and THAT'S pretty cool regardless of how crappy my pitch was...