Friday, April 29, 2011

To the brothers (and sisters)...


You know, either God LOVES us or He doesn't.

So relax.

No, this doesn't mean that 'bad' things aren't going to happen to us--we know this all too well--but it DOES mean that, whatever happens, we will be FOUND in His embrace.

If you can wrestle with, grasp, and receive (deep on the inside in a REAL way) this simple truth, your entire life will be revolutionized.

What's needed around these parts is a 'love revolution'.

Discovering, experiencing, walking in, the LOVE of God for us in Christ by the Spirit.

I'm so TIRED of people fighting me over doctrinal differences or excluding us because we happen to believe the Bible (for real) and think that emphasizing Jesus is the most important thing of all.

I'm so weary of faithlessness in myself and others, so tired of trying to give myself (and others) pep talks upon pep talks when, what's needed, is a simple love encounter with Jesus.

Man, either it's true or it isn't.

If it isn't, stop wasting your time flirting with this thing called 'faith' and go out an enjoy your misery, do whatever it takes to try and stem the tide as darkness rolls you over.

If it IS then STOP WASTING YOUR TIME flirting with this thing called 'faith' and go out and enjoy Jesus, learning to ignore then not even 'feel' the misery that is common to those who exist (horrifically) outside the embrace of God's free gift of grace.

Walk IN the light as HE is in the light.

Remember that this place is NOT your home, that the city you're actually from is one where a river flows from before the throne with trees blooming with fruits for the healing of the nations along its side. Remember that there is no need of sun or moon there (doesn't mean there won't be, just that they won't be needed...) because the LAMB is its light.

Glory.

So stop it.

Stop moaning, stop fearing, stop compromising, stop living a half-a$$ed miserable excuse for a Christian life.

Sell out or get out.

It's your life you're wasting.

Giddyee-up kids. It's time to RIDE.

None of us got ANY time to waste.

T

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

On the lookout...

Took this last night while setting up a mock battle with my boys.

T'was pretty cool to watch them playing the exact same way my brother and I were playing 25 years ago.

Can't believe it's been that long.

I have vivid memories of setting up our own epic mock battles.

Crazy.

I took a bunch of shots of the soldiers but this one, in particular, grabbed me. Couple reasons why.

1) Shot up close, this generic soldier turns into something personal. This reminds me that in storytelling and preaching the goal needs to be to 'make it personal' which means getting right up close to the issue and how it applies to the end-user's life. On a leadership or pastoral level this reminds me to get up close to someone as often as possible when dealing with them because they won't move beyond a 'generic' problem or opportunity until I do.

2) I love that he's on the lookout. He's looking for things. Waiting AND watching. I think it's one thing to WAIT for something to happen, it's another to--while waiting--get out onto the field, where things HAPPEN, and be on the lookout there. Watching seems more active to me, suggests some things to 'do' while waiting and I like that.

God knows I need all the 'hope generating' insights I can get these days, because...

Life is hard right now for us.

We're still deeply grieving our brother-in-law. Easter was his favorite time of year. My family kinda' skipped it this year (at the 'family' level--we still did church, and did it as best we could...) as the prospect of gathering together without him was simply too painful.

We're officially week-to-week now income-wise. I realize that might be a little too personal for you (and my wife) and I don't want to get into it in-depth but I do want to just try to share openly and honestly with you. It's going to be one thing two or three years from now, when THE WELL is a smokin' hot large-ish church and my production business has stabilized into some kind of regular remunerative pattern, to look back on these days and go "Well, that was bad, but I ALWAYS *knew* we'd make it..." I want and need to say right now that we're right in the MIDDLE of that part of the story where we're not sure we're going to.

(make it)

My wife is struggling with this more than me but that's mostly a function of how she's wired differently from me.

We are VERY tense, somewhat afraid, a little depressed, VERY uncertain and doing our best to walk through it, but I want to report that it's not easy. We find ourselves battling against despair and having to work very hard (every SINGLE day) not to lash out at each other simply because the 'other' happens to be the closest target.

Like it or not, in some small way (between this blog, my TV and Church work) my life is 'public' so I need to keep it as real as possible and not project an "Everything's peachy, we're just FINE 'bless God'..." type attitude when really it feels like everything is on the verge of falling apart.

There are signs (we're SEEING) of life.

Easter attendance at THE WELL was DOUBLE in 2011 what it was in 2010. That's something very remarkable, to be celebrated, and to bless God for.

In addition to the stark numbers, there's a real SENSE of the Holy Spirit beginning to 'move' in a special way. This bodes well for the future. What's happening practically (for those of you who pastor or are planting churches) is that people are worshipping better (like singing, raising their hands, weeping) I'm preaching with passion and conviction and people are responding, whether with angry emails or weeping and repentance or inspiration and activism. The second you stop getting any kind of tangible feedback (good or bad) from your preaching is when you really need to get worried. Also, people are being saved. We had five on Easter Sunday. That's very significant. We'll baptize seven people two Sundays from now. In the midst of that, three families left the church abruptly last week. Don't need to go into the details but it's important for you to know so you can get the 'whole story' re: how we're feeling and coping. When people leave your church you need to 1) let 'em go 2) reflect on it to see how you can learn and repent 3) re-focus on your vision and calling and 4) keep going.

This Sunday we start a new sermon series, "How to TAKE a city..."

On the showbiz side our Worldwide reps are starting to close in on some possible 'actual' sales. It looks like our flagship show will be popping up all over the World starting this fall. It remains to be seen what the actual 'numbers' (# of stations, # of episodes ordered, actual $'s per episode) will be but it's a very good sign to see real companies out there repping our 'real' show. Once we get 'real' results I'm going to heave one HUGE sigh of relief.

Then move on to shooting more episodes...

The PILOT we worked on last month was very well received by the client. We're working on some tweaks for them in the next couple weeks then--it looks like--I'll be hopping up on my 'hire a team' horse to help us turn the pilot into an honest-to-goodness TV series that you'll be able to start watching, coast to coast, come September.

In addition, another series we've been working on for almost TWO years, looks like IT might be getting shot end of July.

Crazy times.

I've been working very hard to remind myself to keep 'zoning in' on the things I'm particularly supposed to be doing.

It's not easy lemme' tell you.

Lots of tension in my life these days, relationally, financially, personally but I'm working very hard to slog through it.

Just wanted to say it's not easy, I'm making a lot of mistakes and falling short quite a bit but doing my best, all the while, to stay out 'in the field' and...

On the lookout.

T

Thursday, April 21, 2011

FRIDAY...

That was FRIDAY at THE WELL last year.

This year will look much the same.

We'll do our best to simply, and beautifully, highlight the DEVASTATING story of Jesus Christ, GodtheSon made flesh, hung on a CROSS to die in our place for our sins.

I preached on it this past week, causing quite the stir. Hear why for yourself...


We hope to see you FRIDAY from 11am-12pm as we REMEMBER, and SUNDAY 10:30am-12:00noon as we CELEBRATE.

You can find us...


Peace and Power upon you this Holy Week...

T

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Time flies...


One of my fave shots of my kids, ever.

What's so heartbreaking (in a way) about it is how recent it 'feels' to me but how 'distant' it actually is.

It's YEARS since I took that shot.

Our whole WORLD has changed since.

But some things haven't.

Like, I still love those kids to distraction, I still love their Mom. I still hope to build a life for them in which they can thrive, meet Jesus, and discover what He's called them to do. I'm still trying to 'find my way' a bit as I do it.

What really gets to me about that shot is how you 'blink' and half a decade goes by. This gets me wondering about how I'm spending my life; gets me thinking about what I can do better, how I can repent, re-focus, re-apply myself.

At the same time, because life is beautiful and fleeting, this shot also reminds me to slow down and just 'be', to make sure that, in my busyness (re: above) I don't miss those moments where the light turns perfect and I rush back to the cottage to grab the camera and my kids actually cooperate and we get some shots that will live forever.

Busyness and beauty.

The hallmarks of a life well-lived perhaps?

I spent yesterday on the compound of THE most successful broadcast ministry in history. I spent time with their top leaders--the ones who've been there from, literally, day one. What struck me about them was how intelligent, committed, focused, 'on message' and hard-working they are...

FIFTY years later.

Their shared focus, their continued fixation on a singular goal, and the effort they've expended TOGETHER is utterly humbling and awe-inspiring.

They really put me in my place (in a good way) in terms of what I need to do, and how I need to do it and who I need to do it with.

The really GREAT news is that (despite past failures...) I think we're finally doing the right thing in the right mix in the right way with the right people.

No, our results are nowhere near where they'll be (DV) fifty years from now but I believe that we're on the right track.

And THAT'S an encouraging thought.

I won't be surprised if, five years from now, I end up feeling about our lives the way I feel about that picture up there.

Man that was beautiful, but where'd the time go?

T

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Battalion Repents...

Just finished writing my sermon and feeling pretty excited to preach Sunday at THE WELL.

Just thought I'd mention it here.

If you're in the Burlington (Ontario) area this weekend and want somewhere to go to church where they're going to worship and preach JESUS from scripture, I want to invite you to come see us.

If you're not a 'follower of Jesus' but are wondering what all the 'fuss' is about (especially since it's 'Easter Season') I want to say you'll hear a very clear answer this Sunday at THE WELL.

This sermon (on the crucifixion of Jesus) turned into something very surprising. I've preached this same section of Scripture many times in my career, but never like this.

Super excited to do it and wanted to be sure I let you know that, if you're around, I'd love to see you there.

Sunday, 10:30am...


Peace to and on you and yours...

T

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Again...


Preaching on Jesus' crucifixion again this Sunday.

Gotta' be almost the 12th time I've preached this same text.

Here's one of the parts that stuck out to me today as I studied in preparation....

"and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in His right hand. And kneeling before Him, they mocked Him, saying 'Hail, King of the Jews!'"

-Mt 27:29 (ESV)

And it struck me that every action each of us ever takes that says (in effect) "You're not really the King..." is this SAME act of mockery.

Got me thinking how often my life is evidence that--were it not for the grace of God--I ought to be counted among the scoffers.

Sobering.

The other thing that was interesting to me was that I found myself getting deeply emotional and even sickened as I worked my way through the text. See, the story of Jesus Christ crucified is either nothing or it's everything.

Everything.

Everything.

Having my own personal revival today (and the day started out in deep discouragement) and determining to walk worthy of that which has been done for me.

Why was I discouraged?

Online stuff (sometimes FB and Twitter are more pain than they're worth) that made me lust after other people's lives and ministries. You know that kind? When you see what someone else is doing and think, "I should be doing that..." and are left feeling like your life sucks, is meaningless, and going nowhere.

I needed to repent of that. That feeling is mostly pride. What's required is simple obedience. So long as you're doing what God has called you to do, you just need to keep doing that and let the Lord God worry about the increase, about the details, about the stress, about the apparent lack of results or the way in which the results are driving you crazy.

I had this moment on my run the other night where I felt like God 'spoke' to me saying...

"Remember these quiet apparently 'barren' times son, because the time is coming when the stresses of the increase I'm about the bring will have you wishing for the relative quiet of this season..."

Enough to make you weep.

On a run.

While you're running.

To Jesus.

If you're around the Burlington area, come see us this weekend. It's Easter-season and I'm preaching Jesus crucified as recorded in the Bible.

Gonna' be heavy, and intense, and life-changing and a glorious mess.

We're also going to be doing our best to blow you out of the water with worship...

That is if the drummer (yours truly this week) doesn't screw it up for everyone!!

:)

Loving Him in the midst of a tough journey, right along with you.

T

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Evidence of progress...

Well, I kinda' depressed myself with yesterday's post.

Maybe you too.

Figured I'd submit the following...

Before...
After...

So there's at least SOME evidence of 'forward progress' right?

May this be true of my life (at large) and yours. May the rubble be re-built, may the pain give way to peace, may the uncertainty give way to predictably positive patterns.

May we get through it without breaking.

May we 'use' the lessons learned to do better next time.

May we find what we need to keep going.

'Cause, man, can you imagine if we'd stopped after the 'before'? If the total destruction of it had demoralized us to the point that we just quit and stayed put?

You'd never think of leaving your kitchen in a state of 'undone-ness' so why your life?

Not an option for me and probably not for your either.

Right?

T

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

One step at a time...

My whole life feels like that right now.

Wrecked.

Well, 'wrecked' with my wife and I scurrying around trying to fix it, to make it right, to make some semblance of order in the chaos, to try and find some joy in the deep deep well of sorrow we seem to find ourselves trapped in.

Our marriage has been more strained than ever (15 years in) the past month.

We were joking about the fact that the 'top four' stresses on a marriage are 1) a death in the family 2) moving 3) renovating 4) divorce, and that we're rocking "three out of four baby..."

Then we started getting worried.

See for the first time in our 18 years together we've found ourselves almost not caring about how we treat each other, not trying as much, just 'being' and 'living' and not working on things day to day.

And we started seeing the early signs of erosion.

Pretty crazy stuff.

Mind you, we caught it within days and have lots of reasons to be worn down to the point where cracks can become crevices but, man, I gotta' say that we were surprised 'this' could happen to 'us'.

Our marriage has always been totally rock solid, an absolute 'for granted' haven of goodness as we walk through life.

Robbie's death has shaken us to our very core.

Today Niki was reading the Psalms and having a hard believing them. Every time I sit down to preach I have to find a way to have yet another 'personal revival' in order to find the strength to study, exegete, write and then preach, from a heart that means it 'cause it believes it.

We're shaken I tell you, shaken.

So, last night we put our hot tub to good use, put some red wine to good use and put each other to good use.

That helped.

In terms of our relationship to God, we're just asking Him for help and being very honest with Him about how we're feeling (He already 'knows' of course...) and doing our best to just take one step at a time.

But it's pain all around these days.

I realize this could depress you, but my assumption is that--if you stick with me--you'll see us walk through this valley and out the other side and, if I'm able to be really honest about the process, we might find ourselves (me and you both) enriched by seeing the story unfold.

Even though, it's looking mighty bleak these days.

T

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Zoning-in...

I'm zoning-in on things over here.

See my one friend (and brother-in-law) has taken an EPIC TRIP (home to be with Jesus) and that event has shattered many of us.

In fact, not 'because' of this (he's been thinking this way for some time) but certainly 'inspired' in some way by this, my other friend (and my brother-in-law's 'best friend') is taking an EPIC TRIP of his own.

Me?

I don't have plans to travel anywhere.

I'm staying right here.

It's WHAT I'll be doing while staying put that's key.

See, these two trips my friends have engaged in have reminded me of what I have to engage in my life. They have brought into sharp relief a thing I think about a lot, but I'm thinking about it now with an increased urgency (to say the least).

What am I supposed to be doing?

And I don't mean all the simple things we do each day just trying to survive, but THE thing that we're supposed to do that makes all those other things possible.

Why do I exist?

And, see, I know the answer, I've always known it.

(beyond simply loving Jesus, my wife and my babies...)

I'm called to preach and to interview.

That's it.

I mean, I can do *some* other things. I'm a passable writer, a decent producer, I've even directed a few things in my life. I'm a good leader, a decent pastor, a passable musician, an average athlete.

I'm pretty good with a sailboat.

But what am I really good at?

Preaching and interviewing.

That's it.

That's. It.

That's, it.

That's ALL I can really do.

Everything else in my life flows from or is connected to those two things.

Looking back, the only 'high' points in my life are connected to those two simple abilities. I remember that first campfire at Pioneer Camp where I told the 'Heaven Story'. I remember preaching 'Fresh Wind' for the first time or that time at Kingswood with Third Day to 10,000+ when I lit the candles in the crowd and preached about Jesus. I remember Colorado and New Jersey. I remember trying my best to blow the roof off the place at FT week after week. I remember one of my dearest friends just standing to his feet for the last ten minutes of an epic sermon one time. I remember youth retreats and that conference on the Trinity where I--the preacher--was the youngest person in the room. I remember starting again at THE WELL and finding I'd lost my 'voice', then a friend's advice that helped me find it again.

I remember Robbie's funeral, preaching like a madman, like a thing possessed, like a brother bereaved.

And the interviewing?

I remember the exact moment it hit me. It was season 4 of 'FreeTV' shot at VisionTV's tiny studio in downtown Toronto. I remember sitting at the dining room table set and doing that first interview. I remember thinking "This is best part of this show..."

And you're thinking, "Gee whiz man, don't give yourself props..."

Shut up man, I'm talking to myself here and for all the other broken hearts out there trying to find their way.

I just *knew* in that moment that THAT was what I was good at.

Take my current TV series, our flagship, the first show we've ever done with the potential to break out and actually become a show that releases all over the World. What's special about it?

The interviews are great and it's nicely packaged and it's relatively cheap to do and the 'talent' increasingly likes doing it, has a good experience, and is talking about it in H'wood which has the word spreading, which is making it easier for us to get better and better guests which is giving the whole thing more momentum.

Two simple things.

Preaching and interviewing.

That's where I'm going.

And the trick is to extricate myself from doing things that aren't those two things or don't DIRECTLY support the doing of those two things.

Yes, for a time I have to do much more simple 'pastoring' than I'm naturally gifted to do, but I do it with all my heart (even while trying to extricate myself from it) so that I can keep preaching, pastoring people from the pulpit.

Yes, for a time I have to do much more actual producing than I'm naturally gifted to do but the trick is to do it with all my heart so that I can give myself (with the faithful help and leadership of my business partner) more opportunities to sit across from interesting people and get them to tell their life story to you...

So that you can find some hope.

Hope in Jesus when I preach.

Hope in our shared journey when I interview.

I'm a 'hope' transmitter.

That's what I am, that's what I do.

Everything else is just noise, just work, just stuff to do.

What I *do* is communicate the timeless hope of Jesus from a pulpit and the universal hope we find in seeing in another person's story--well told--the simple truth that we aren't, in fact, the only one dealing with these feelings of hopelessness, fear and despair, that we aren't, in fact, alone, that there is a way through...

If we'll just do what we're supposed to do.

God bless you Robbie as you sing before His throne. Thank you for reminding me what I'm supposed to do.

God bless you Jonesey as you quit your upper-middle-class job and sell your house and embark bravely into the unknown with your family to build homes for the poor and do what you've been made to do there and after you're back. Thank you for proving to me (again) that Robbie and Me aren't the only ones who've lost our minds.

I love you guys.

You inspire me.

T

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Just sayin'...

Now THAT'S courage.

As for me, I'm trying to put my words and faith into practice. Trying to help my wife back from the ledge without getting too impatient or unkind.

I'm trying to believe for 'good things' and find ways to begin 'caring' again as much as I can, given our new reality.

I'm shopping for that nine-seater (even though I can't afford it yet) and working hard on the pilot that might become a series and another new series (small one) and on getting things ready for syndication (and hopefully more production) on our flagship series.

I'm trying to partner with God in growing this little church of ours. Preaching hard, trying to lead well, praying a lot, trying to discern where the 'wind of the Spirit' is blowing, trying to equip the saints for the work of the ministry, seeking after 'righteousness' in my own life and walk.

I'm juggling money (or non-existent money) trying to get this house done and my boat in the water and our finances squared away once and for all (as if) and doing my best to give space in my mind and heart for 'redeemed dreaming' when it comes to what life I want to build in light of our new reality.

I'm talking to God a lot, telling Him my heart is breaking, telling Him I don't like this at all, telling Him to come quickly, asking Him how could He, asking Him for mercy and that He would draw near and mend our shattered hearts.

I'm also talking to Rob a lot. I figure the 'great cloud of witnesses' being what it might, I might as well talk to him.

People keep looking at me like I'm crazy, then I realize I must look it, mumbling away non-stop to the Lord and my Brother Robbie who's before His throne.

I'm trying.

That's what I'm doing these days.

Trying.

T