Half-way productive...

So that's how I spent half my day.

The first half I spent locked up inside the cottage (on Georgian Bay aka: Ontario's Caribbean) my earbuds in, working on the re-write to NOEL my Christmas adventure film script.

Well, that and answering emails, skype-ing my business partner, eating lunch etc.

But for the most part I focused on the re-write.

It's been going quite well.  For a script that I originally wrote three years ago, it still feels very fresh to me.  When I sat down today though I found that I needed to go back and read a bit to get 'in the flow' again.  That's when I realized I could shortcut that process by skimming the script and doing a scene by scene outline.

A scene by scene outline is pretty typical during the planning phase on a script but I've done it once before on a re-write, with 'THE STORM' but even then I did it in advance, planning it out. Today I did it as I went.  See, I'd re-written forty pages so I just went back and read it quickly and every time I got to a new scene I'd add a number in my notebook and a brief descriptor. That way I can quickly look back to see what I've done to the story.

'Cause the thing with re-writes is the 'ripple effect'.

You change one thing and that one thing can force a dozen changes down the road which is all fine and good if you're planning to do the re-write in one fell swoop but, like in my case, if you're a father of four, producer of two brand new TV series and doing your darndest to set up a couple more while working through setting up distribution on your first film while loving your wife and not burning out, you'll be going at it piecemeal over a longer period of time than you'd like and that'll mean it's never as 'fresh' as it should be and you'll forget which ripple goes where.  So this approach--the 'real time' outline is working well so far.

What's cool about the story is that it's getting better as I apply the changes suggested by my rep in L.A.  It's cool to have reached the stage where I've got a real 'pro' giving me notes.  It's not that he's any more enlightened than me or others but he has 'real world' experience that informs his bias and that's worth paying attention to.

So, I finished the re-write and hit the beach.

Drove my youngest son's new remote control speedboat with him.  Took my eldest son and daughter out on one of those floating trampolines and wrestled a bit.  Bounced my baby girl on my knee.  Took a boat out and just floated in it for a while--just me, the wind and the sun. Made dinner.  Put the kids to bed.  Took the shot above.  Went for my run.

That was rough.  Jogging at sunset by water's edge...

So instead of feeling like I 'wasted' a day by not working or 'wasted' a day because of working, I did a little bit of this and little bit of that and everybody was happy.

My wife and I had talked about it beforehand and we stuck to the plan.

And that's how I ended up half-way productive today.  And that seems to me a lesson worth noting.  A day doesn't have to be 100% to be good.  So, whatever it is you do, and whatever the pressures are that will seek to pull you from doing your thing--make sure you agree to do the best you can--bit by bit--day by day.

'Cause no family, no script, no Church, no vibrant career, no 'Rome' was built in a day.

T

At a Crossroads...

It seems like 80% of my close friends or family members are there these days.

(and I spent all of 2007 there...)

At a crossroads.

Most of them being in their early to mid-thirties (man, last time I checked we were all in our early to mid-twenties and just 'starting out' in the World...) they're at this place where they've being doing something, or trying to do something for about ten years now.

They say seven to ten years of effort is the time it takes to begin 'making it' in your chosen field. Frank Darabont said it about screenwriting and directing, Robert McKee said it applies to any industry and, certainly, most of my anecdotal experience bears this out.

I have a lawyer friend who said it took him seven years before he figured out how to make a good living as a lawyer. 

My friends who are Church planters and who've finally 'made it' in terms of viability (which equals 'success' in that field and 'viability'=enough people and money to cover your costs) have been 'at it' for about ten years (some more) now.

I've often said that you hit this point where you've been working at it for a while and realize that it's either happening or not happening at the level you'd hoped for, or at a level that is sustainable both in terms of the practicalities (money/momentum) and the spiritualities (passion/ability to keep at it...) 

That point is 'the crossroads'.

It's at that point that you have to decide if you're going to 'keep at it' or change course.

I have a friend who was working for many years towards becoming a recording artist.  He did it, very successfully (given his 'home market') during his early to mid-twenties.  Then he hit the point where it became clear he wasn't going to hit the 'next level' (and there were many factors involved: getting married/having kids/making a reliable income etc...) so he adjusted.  He trained his focus into becoming an audio engineer and then a producer and translated the musical performance side from a 'pop star' trajectory to a 'worship leader' trajectory.  

As a result, today he's making more money, has more contacts, more influence and a greater access to audience than he ever had before.  He's one of the few I know who successfully made the transition.

And kudos to him for it.

'Cause if you refuse to acknowledge that a transition is looming, let alone work your hardest to weather said transition, you end up embittered and broke, or (if you just give up your dream altogether) working for 'the man'.

I think the key is to hold onto the 'essence' of your calling while transitioning the practicalities/actualities of said calling into a different form or forum than you had been expecting.

This is, I think, the 'crux' of making it as a Preacher/Church planter or as a writer/producer/director--and that makes it applicable to any kind of risk-taking trajectory or industry.  

How long can you hold onto your dream?

(AND)

Can you make a living, and build a life (family) on the back of that dream?

And, if you get to the point where 'the dream' isn't happening, do you have the fortitude and (let's be honest) humility to take it for what it is, and begin steering your wagon in another, new or somewhat new, direction?

My brother in-law and his family were with us earlier this week.  They own a restaurant that he runs.  That fact (restaurant ownership) puts them in the very top percentile of the people who are called/gifted to work in the hospitality business--and even so, he's stressed to the max and feeling like he doesn't want to do it anymore.

"I'm at a career crossroads..." he said to me late the night before last.

So at breakfast yesterday, when the moment was right, I said to him; 

"You know, if you find yourself at a crossroads, I figure you ought'a take a good look at it, then throw your wife and kids in your wagon, cross that road, and like Abraham our Father (he's not necessarily of the exact same 'faith persuasion' as me, but enough that he understood the metaphor...) go to the land that God will show you."

'Cause there's nothing worse than standing at that crossroads forever.

It's inaction, not transition that'll kill ya'.

So sure, watch the people go by for a bit.  Figure out the timing of the lights.  Try and deduce where the roads are going from their curvature and attitude but, for the love of your calling and your loved ones and your happiness/fulfillment, don't stand there too long.

A crossroads can open up whole new worlds, or it can cause 'soul atrophy'.  

Cross the damn thing.

Andiamo.

T

Back in the saddle...

Pretty moving, interesting moment just now.

It's 1:35am Pacific--or 4:35am Eastern (where I live) as I sit here in my hotel room overlooking Vancouver.

I just walked home from the studio downtown where we were shooting episodes 45-65 of 'THE DAILY: with mark & laura-lynn' yesterday and today.

What's different about tonight is that I walked home looking like a street walker.

Well, not quite.

But I had enough makeup on to be one.

Makeup?

Yes, makeup.

Why?

Well, because we were shooting episodes today that will air the last week of August and during that last week of August we will start promoting a show that I will be hosting.

That's right.

Back in front of the camera.

It's been four years since last I stood there--looking through that lens at sometimes thousands of people.  I'm feeling pretty excited about this next phase.

My executive producer--and good friend--is hoping I'll be a slightly 'kinder/gentler' version of me and--if the promos we shot tonight are any indication--I think 'slightly' is an accurate description.

However, though I don't feel much nicer I certainly do feel more aware--a little gentler, more tuned in to pain, a touch more empathic.  

I said to Niki a couple weeks ago that I think the last two years and all that have gone with 'em have set me up to be able to make even more of a contribution through my on-air work.

'Cause--for me--that's what it's about.

Adding something--ideally something valuable--to your life.

Encouragement, inspiration, conviction.

Those things.

So anyway--I need to pack and get ready to go home to my wife and babies but thought this little confession might be in order.

I feel thankful and moved.  Like I crossed another 'threshold' tonight.

Humbling, amazing, sobering.

Scary.

T

Unplugging...

There comes a time in the life of every artist where they just need to go away for a bit.

Like to the cottage.

We just got back from four days at the cottage.  I left the laptop at home and the cellphone off. And I've got L.A waiting for a re-write on a script that's set to go out to the majors, a writer in Austin waiting for my 'dialogue pass' on a script I've got him re-writing for us, a writer in L.A waiting for detailed notes on a script he's written based on a story idea of mine, and a five-day stint in Vancouver where I have to 'story design', paper-edit, and shoot twenty episodes of one of my TV series...

To say nothing of the fact that I've got two weeks (count 'em: one...two...) before I come back to Vancouver for fifteen days (hell-yes, the family's coming with me...) to shoot 52 (count 'em: one...two...ahh, never mind) episodes of a new TV series that I'll be producing and hosting.

Yep'--back to my roots in front of the camera.

And I spent the first half of the week sailing and hanging with my wife and babies.

Why?

'Cause you can't let yourself run out of steam.

And that's why this post is relevant and SFS (supernatural film school) worthy.  If you're someone whose life is about communicating things to people you have to be sure to 1) absorb the truth from the life going on all around you and 2) be able to interpret and apply said truth for your audience.  And you can't do that when you're out of gas.

The challenge is to stay disciplined and self-motivated while being 'in touch' with yourself enough to know when it's time to pull the plug.  Lots of writers/preachers get stuck in writer's block and explain it away by saying they need to take time to 'find their muse' or whatever.

I'm not looking to bolster laziness.

I'm looking to remind us/me that it's O.K and imperative to make sure you don't push yourself to the point where the work you're doing sucks.

If you got nothing to give, you got nothing to give.

So, whatever 'sailing' is to you, make sure you go do it once in a while.

Whooooosh...

T

Super-fan...

O.K, so I feel a bit nerdy.

Why's that?

Well I'm not typically much of a fan-boy, y'know?  I tend to be pretty self-possessed, some would say 'proud', etc...

So, I'm not the type to run around screaming my allegiance to this and that singer, or director, or whatever.

There are some folks though who I just sincerely admire.  Folks whose clear talent I find simply inspiring and life-giving.

Joel Auge is one of those dudes for me.  I know him well enough to say 'hi' when we meet once or twice a year at some function or other but not well enough to say he's a 'friend'.  Let's say he's friends with my friends so I've been around him enough to have decided that he's the real deal--as if that's my decision to make...

Way back in the late nineties, when he was just starting out in music and I was just starting out on-pulpit and on-screen he led worship at a youth-church I had planted.

He had 'it' then.  He has 'it' now.  

Just bought his album on iTunes.  You should too.

T

In good company...

FROM: 'THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL' DIR. SCOTT DERRICKSON

FROM 'THE STORM' DIR. TODD CANTELON

From the 'aint that cool' files....

My homee 'The Sphere' sent me this pic today.  It's from the trailer to THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL a big-budget blockbuster coming soon from Scott Derrickson the director who brought you THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE.

What's cool about it is how eerily similar the two shots are--in concept and (even--dare I say?) execution despite the fact that the one has a budget (by the time you factor in production and marketing) that's probably a thousand times that of my wee film.

($200,000 x 1000 = $200,000,000)

A film called THE STORM--an 'itty bitty', feature-length, first-time microbudget supernatural-thriller I directed in early 2006 that we finished in 2007 and which is currently being sold in L.A.

I'm encouraged 'cause it feels like I'm at least somewhat connected to the zeitgeist, you know?

And surviving as someone who communicates for a living (from the pulpit or for the screen) means having sensibilities that--for whatever miraculous reason--just happen to connect with what the (mass) audience is feeling.

Cool.

T

The half-million dollar notebook...

That's what them two pages are worth.

Seriously.

I'm writing this 'cause my hope with this blog is to inform/inspire those of you who dabble in preaching and producing--and by extension, when the points are transferrable, anyone who reads this who's life is a little less than ordinary.

What's been happening to me this week is from the 'darker side' of things.

On Monday I get a call.  It's a bad call.  I'm told I have to cut $500,000 (that would be HALF A MILLION DOLLARS!)  out of one of the budgets on one of the TV series I'm producing--if we want to keep it.

Five. Hundred. Thousand. Dollars.

Now there are two things to keep in mind here:

1) The original budgets, though actual--meaning everyone was actually getting paid for the work they were doing--were not 'fat' or overblown.  

2) If we refuse to find a way to work with the cuts the Network will just find another production company to do it and said production company will probably deliver a piece of crap show.

So, (1) means I have to completely redesign the way in which we produce the show while maintaining as much of the 'spirit' of the original concept and execution as possible.  Not easy.

(2) Is in place because I'd rather do my best to produce a show that actually 'speaks' despite these wholesale cuts than allow some yahoo to destroy the time slot which basically means I have no choice.

Fun in'it, this show biz stuff?

So, Tuesday/Wednesday went by with my Executive Producer and I basically fighting over all of the above.  He and I see things from totally different sides of the coin (he thinks like a businessman first, I think like a creative person first...) and that means we spend a lot of time arguing until we come 'round to seeing things in way that suits our perspectives and represents reality.

('aint 'reality' a bitch by the way?  You're trying to create illusion in the arts.  From the pulpit your trying to create a superlative or 'ideal' view of the text and it's application.  "Reality? Don't talk to me about 'reality'!" But reality is always in play in our work.  The way in which we work with it and around it to create that 'illusory-superlative' is why we get paid to do what we do--but that don't make it any easier...)

So we fight Tues/Wed then yesterday and today I sit at my desk and stare at a blank page trying to figure a way to redesign this thing so that it'll work; keeping in mind that this will be version 12 or 13 of the budget on this series.  It's been non-stop difficulty from the get-go.

And it's not as if nothing's at stake for me here.  A huge part of my income is tied up in this series so if I don't find a way to make it work, I'm staring some pretty intense financial uncertainty in the face and after my 2006/2007 (very lean years) I've about had enough of financial turmoil for a while.

But I can't design it to suit me--I have to design it so that it will work.

So I sit and I stare and I sit and I stare and slowly, ever so slowly, the ideas begin to come.  I included the shot of my actual brainstorming so that you can see how messy and unsure it is. All the circles and squares around things?  They come after I've begun to figure things out.  

(by the way this is the exact same method I employ whether I'm designing a TV series, beginning to outline a screenplay, or preparing a sermon...)

Then today I begin to work the design into a budget.

And the freaky thing about budgets is that they're so hard to nail down.  The variables race by like they're from 'The Matrix' and every change affects the whole and the real doozy of it is that each decision I make on my spreadsheet affects not just my life, but the lives of forty other people to greater or lesser degree.  About fifteen people's direct livelihood depends on the choices I make.

How you like them apples?

Wanna' be  a producer, working in the real world?  Them's the realities friend.

But the positive thing is that--unless I've made some grave error (which is possible but not likely)--I think I've found a way to make it work.  I think we're going to be O.K.

And that's the whole point of this post.  

On Monday, when the 'bad news' call came I thought I was going to die.  My wife and I didn't really sleep for two nights--it's was just plain awful for a bit.  Then I knuckled down, chained my ass to the chair at the desk, and stared at the paper 'till a way through began to present itself.

I actually had a moment where I put my head in my hands and prayed a one word prayer:

"Help..."

And it looks like help is on its way and that's worth remembering regardless of how bleak your week is currently looking.

T

The swing it is...

Looks like they're having fun, right?

They spent at least ten straight minutes, maybe more, on the thing.  Back and forth, back and forth.  Up and down.  To them it felt sky high.

When was it for you that swings started making you nauseous instead of happy?

It's an equilibrium thing.  Swings make us nervous as we age because we begin to understand the mechanics of the thing.  We start getting what's at stake.  Add to that an inner ear that's gotten used to things on the straight and narrow and flat and you've got a recipe for sickness.

It struck me that it's very similar with our work in the creative arts and in the pulpit.

When we start it's all a thrill.  Every time we get to step up and do our thing it fair strips the dignity right out of us with excitement.  You can't wait to get at it.  Even the prep work is fun as we study a text, find a hook, break it down, craft it.  Same with TV and Film.   I remember when editing was fun--I couldn't believe that I was in an actual edit suite cutting something that people were actually going to see.

(I still love the set, every bit of it, even the grumpy grips...)

Then, somewhere along the way, it stops being fun and starts being work.

I don't know if it happens all at once--seems more a gradual thing to me.  And I don't know that once it hits it sticks forever--seems more an ebb and flow tide-like thing to me.  But it does seem, from my limited experience that the more you ebb the less you flow.  Over time a once verdant river delta can become a badlands.

So how do I keep finding ways to do the 'first works' (to turn a Biblical phrase), how do I stay 'in love'? How do I find inspiration again and again and translate said inspiration into traction that becomes work--good work?

A key for me is to work slow and find spaces in my day for breaks.  Space just to breathe a bit and be aware.

It's in those quiet moments that you notice things.

Like your son and his cousin loving life on a swing.

T