gettin' through it...

So I almost didn't make it today.

(the picture--by the way--is the view from my balcony at the end of 'day one'...)

Part of it was barely sleeping last night.  I just kept getting woken up and when I'd stir my racing mind would take over and I'd be overwhelmed with thought after thought connected to the interviews I was to do today.

Three hours of sleep the night after a 15 hour travel day followed by 12 high-profile celebrity interviews in one day does not make for a happy camper.

My neck muscles are so tightly wound it's insane.  Add to that a 10-day old sinus infection that just won't quit and you can imagine how 'awesome' it was to be me today.  Lucky for me my Director's wife is here and happens to be a registered massage therapist.  

(she fixed me up good, thanks Nik...)

Oh, and did I mention the kind of focus that's required to interview someone 'well'?  Lemme' tell you, you can't 'mail' those in.

The upshot was a morning that nearly paralyzed me.  As we sat at our local French Bistro eating our egg sandwich with red potatoes chased down by fresh coffee and freshly squeezed orange juice surrounded by William Morris' finest (the bistro is down the street from WMA's Beverly Hills headquarters) sitting in the sun burning up time on their PDA's and looking resplendent in their business-best (even their girls look hot) I thought to myself, "Gee, you know, I should be enjoying this..."

But I was filled with dread.

Normal, typical, 'stage fright'.  I get this way every time we do this which is hilarious considering  I've been interviewing people since I was 19.

At the root it comes down to the fact that I don't feel 'worthy'.  I feel--in some silly way--like George Hamilton or Cedric the Entertainer or Anita Pointer or Nigel Lythgoe are somehow 'better' than me.

It's insecurity, it's pride, it's silly.

But the fear--in the moment--is real and it makes you eat no more than 2/3's of your fabulous sandwich and makes you want to run for the hills.

That's a part of a performers' life.

"What if they don't like me?"  "What if we don't connect?"  "What if it's a waste of time?" "What if they reject me?"

All these thoughts and more race through your mind, seeming like voices insisting that you're going to fail.

And in that moment you have a decision to make.

Cave or rise.

Admit defeat or stand up and do what you've been made to do.

No matter what it is that you do with your life I'm sure you face similar fears to mine.  I figured I'd admit to you how hard my day was today because of one simple thing.

It ended well.

The interviews went great, and even Cedric the Entertainer (AND his publicist, which is always the toughest part...) were really happy, impressed and encouraging.

And that same result can and will be yours, by times, as you decide, with me...

To rise.

T