my life...

So I'm in Beverly Hills.

One 15-hour trip later.

Seriously, we were in-transit for 15 hours door to door yesterday from the time I left my house west of Toronto, drove to Buffalo, got stuck behind a full 'search and seizure' of a car at the border, got onto our delayed flight to Philly, arrived in Philly, waited for three hours, got on the plane, sat on the tarmac for another hour and almost a half, flew five and a half hours to Los Angeles on a totally packed U.S Airways (my least favorite) plane, landed at LAX, taxied, waited for the gate guy to let our plane pull up to the jetway, got off, found a cab, drove at breakneck speed into Beverly Hills and checked into our...

Hotel.

(at the equivalent of 2:00am our time)

Fifteen hours.

Oh man.

Then we walk to our favorite little French pastry shop for breakfast this morning and my wife calls me freaking out because the bank is up to its usual shenanigans and the kids are driving her nuts and I didn't call her during my layover ('cause my Executive Producer was feeling 'talky' and we were deep in conversation the whole time and I didn't think to call 'cause I thought she'd said she'd be out most of the day...) and she thought I was dead and I'm in Beverly Hills and she's lonely and she hates when I travel and I didn't call.

Sheesh.

I told my EP it's like I hit my wife's three 'hot buttons' (money issues, me away= her alone, and being non-communicative) all at the same time.

Classic.

Sorry baby.

Sometimes I just get into my own headspace and don't think about anything but getting through it and that makes me act in ways that harm those around me.

'Total depravity' anyone?

Yes, that's me.  Basically selfish and inconsiderate left to my own devices.

Today I'll sit on that there balcony pictured above and study for my interviews, ten tomorrow and twelve (if you can believe it) on Thursday.

Then I'll do another 12-14-hour day flying home Friday, get to bed by 2:00am and be up at 8:00am for a family photo session with my extended family Saturday morning at 9:00am.

It's like I keep saying and keep reminding myself and maybe you.

You just keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing your best moment by moment and try not to stress about the rest.

I'm thirty five and have been doing my bi-vocational (preacher/producer) thing for basically 16 years now and I still feel like each day is a stretch, each day is a learning curve, each day brings with it some joy and much sorrow and stress and I never 'really' feel like I'm getting anywhere which is why you and I need to be so very sure that we're doing the thing we're called to do 'cause imagine if you took all of the above and the common denominator under it wasn't 'calling' but 'rat race'.

I can't imagine.

Here's hoping you can't either.

T