Up to some good...

Busy times over here.

Yesterday I spent so much time crunching numbers and staring at the wall thinking about the endless variables that would be put into effect as a result of said crunching that, by four PM or so, my head felt like mush.

The life of a producer.

Today is no better.

Since about 6:30AM I've been on email, online, getting things cleared and set.

I'm about to go sit with the wife for a bit just to see her for twenty minutes or so.

8:00AM I leave the house, pick up photo prints for a big presentation today and some promo cards for THE WELL.

8:30-9:00AM I prep for a meeting with my biz partner.

9:00-10:00AM said meeting with biz partner, making sure our heads are screwed on straight regarding a big new production that's looming.

10:00AM-12:00PM big new client meeting.

12:30PM lunch with a TV host who wants to pick my brain and maybe have me on his show as a guest.

1:30-2:00pm some sermon planning and phone calls on two music videos I'm producing.

2:00-3:30pm story meeting to try and zone in on several GREAT ideas for a couple of small (very small) feature films we might have on the back burner.

4:00-5:00pm more sermon/music video planning.

6:00pm leave for football practice with my son.

8:45pm sit down with the wife.

Happy days people, happy days.

T

Universal hope...

This is good stuff...

It proves two things:

One--sorrow is universal. We all suffer. We all have pain.

Two--hope is also universal and springs eternal.

I will be keeping this song and its message in mind as I:

One--lay my friend's baby boy to rest tomorrow presiding over my first funeral.

Two--preach about grace, peace, mercy and hope this Sunday at THE WELL as if it's real and as if I believe it and as if it's just for my friends and for Heaven who, I'm sure, will be listening.

Not 'cause it's *me* but 'cause:

One--sorrow is universal and...

Two--so is hope.

T

Lost at sea...

I've been getting in some wild 'Fall sails' this month.  

Good thing too 'cause I've been feeling that way (lost at sea) lately.  It's been a tough couple months at the church and with the end of my current 'pay cycle' looming and our house sold with nowhere to move to yet and, really, nothing but uncertainty on the docket it's felt like grey clouds all around.

It's been really getting to us.

So much so, that I didn't think I was going to be able to preach this week.  That's one of the trickiest things about preaching week in and week out, finding a way to have something to 'say' from Scripture that's not really about you, and is worth your people's time and is open and vulnerable to the Holy Spirit...

Even when you're feeling about as far from life, hope and light as can be.

(I refer to this as 'learning how to preach 'The Light' from the darkness')

I had my text picked and kept reading it over and over all week and thinking about it, just letting it percolate in my subconscious.  I dissected it on Friday (which is later than I usually do it) but just couldn't bring myself to write it on Friday night even though Nik was out and the kids were asleep and I had the perfect window.

I was waiting for the 'spark'.

Saturday was early morning football with Jordan and the fam', then off to see about getting winter storage for my boat, then back home to clean, then off to Niki's Mom's for late thanksgiving.  I brought my stuff with me but wasn't in a hurry to get to it.  I sat in the sun in the backyard and enjoyed my wife and her mom and two aunts and my kids and a wonderful meal.  Two glasses of red in quick succession helped me relax and forget my sorrows for a moment or two.

After dessert I felt the 'spark'.  It was small, almost a non-event, but there.  Nik was going to lie down for a minute so I asked her if she'd mind if I sat down and at least got started.  She was cool with it so I pulled out my notebook, opened my Bible, pulled out my notes and started writing.

It just flowed.

I mean, effortlessly.  Wrote it in half the time I usually do.  Felt great.  Got it off my chest in time to really enjoy the last event of the day--a 13th birthday party for the eldest daughter of some of our closest friends.

Came home, slept like a baby, woke up yesterday feeling great, and preached my a$$ off.  I mean, it was fun, funny, open, honest, real, powerful and on-message in terms of what a 'sermon' is supposed to be in a Jesus-loving church.

I was amazed.

And humbled.

Reminded again that 'this' doesn't really have all that much to 'do' with us.  We're participants, sure, but we're also passengers.  

Carried along by the wind of the Spirit.

And then it hit me--all this great wind I've been experiencing on my 'Fall sails' lately? 

Always accompanied by dark clouds and foreboding seas.

Just like my life.

Point taken.

T

The long walk...

Took the wife walking in Santa Monica last week.

Lovely.

So's she, no? We kept getting stared at all day. Part of that is just L.A; everyone stares at you 'cause you never know when you might see 'someone', like Mos Def, who walked past us on the promenade.

Add to that the fact that my wife looks like a movie star and you get the picture.  In fact, she had the house car drive her up to the hotel where we were shooting one day partway through the day and the doormen were acting all silly with her, assuming she was famous. They even asked her where they knew her from.

She was quick to correct them.

I can see why they were acting silly though; she still makes me act silly.

The other day I was sitting at this here desk working and she walked into the room. I stopped and stared for a bit. She noticed me, smiled, then laughed. I joined her, making fun of the fact that--after 14 years--she still stops me dead in my tracks.

Good thing too.

Bit of a tense period for us right now.  Our house has sold, closes December 3rd and we don't know where we're going yet.  Naturally we're planning to stay close to home (what with a baby-church to steward and a our newly opened post facility 20 minutes away) but just the fact of selling has had us wondering about our life.

What's this all about, why are we doing this, where is this leading? 

Part of what's got us stressed is THE WELL not coming out of its summer slump yet. Before Easter 2010 we were averaging 74 people per week.  Summer hit and we dropped to between 50-60 which is totally normal for 'summertime church' in a North American context.

However, it's now mid-October and, so far, none of the missing people have come back.  This has us wondering if I've shrunk the church or if the Lord is shrinking it or if we're under some sort of focused 'season of trial' or if Burlington is just 'tough soil' (we know of three other church plants that didn't make it past year two) or if this is just par for the course in a culture where our peers didn't grow up going to church so Sunday attendance is always going to be a 'hit or miss' thing depending on how they feel week to week and what the weather's doing.

Makes it tough sledding though.

In addition to the above we're waiting to see what happens with the main TV series I produce by the end of the year.  We're working very hard on some syndication possibilities which, if they actually close, will open up some really neat opportunities for us.  If they don't close, well then, we'll be staring at the wall wondering what to do with our lives.

I've also got some interest in some 'micro-budget' films so I've got to get going on story development plus our first feature film looks like it might (MIGHT) have a theatrical release in the U.S upcoming (still not sure on that, we'll see...) plus there are two new TV series pending for next year (and one BIG one still quietly bubbling away on the back burner in NYC) and a couple of graphic novel projects that I really need to get up and off the ground before I get much older.

But, of course, none of the above is really 'solid'.  All of the above requires immense faith and perseverance and simple obedience.  All of it seems (by times) nebulous and uncertain.  

I do worry that I'm running out of steam.  I do worry that I've deluded myself.  I do worry that I'm the Emperor with no clothes; I imagine I can hear you snickering at me and my foolishness.

I've been going for lots of long early morning walks, doing my best to listen.

I go first, then my wife goes.

(babies still asleep at home)

Not *quite* as nice as when we did it together in Santa Monica but close enough.

Close enough...

T

At play with Mr. Hefner...

'Yours Truly' prepping an interview.

Looks like I could be outside Hart House at U of T right?

Nope.

The door you see behind me is actually the side entrance to Hugh Hefner's private study at the Playboy Mansion.

That's right.

Don't believe me?

There we are (my biz partner and I with Hef) after finishing the interview in the infamous 'Library/Movie Theater' which is just outside the office I was talking about.

What an experience.

Thursday of last week.  The last day of three days shooting in H'wood that saw me do 33 interviews with some really interesting folk ranging from Wayne Brady to 'MACHETE!' to America's 6th richest man.

Oh, and Hugh Hefner.

I was pretty nervous going into it.  See, Mr. Hefner is 85 and a little hard of hearing. He's also HUGH HEFNER which means he's, understandably, a little tired of doing stupid interviews. His handlers sat me down (on the above bench) before the interview, gave me some specific instructions and wished me the best.

I braced myself for one of 'those' interviews.

You know, the ones that suck?

See, the more famous and powerful the person the less inclined they typically are to really 'give' of themselves in an interview.  I mean, on the one hand, why should they?  Why should they allow me, and by extension you, the viewer, to trespass on their life?  They didn't sign up to become a cultural icon or hero, they didn't ask to be an example.

Yet here we are, wanting to 'learn' from their story.

We had been given just an hour to get completely set up.  You should've seen my DP sweating. There were eight of us there plus the Playboy archivists (yes, it's true, they record EVERYTHING...) plus a couple of Hugh's girlfriends circulating in the house and then there he was, the man himself.

He walked in, real quiet.  Stood for his photos, real quiet.

I'm watching, going, 'Man, he's real quiet. Oh no...'

Then we sit down, start rolling, and me and Hef start talking.

And he was brilliant.

Totally present, totally open, smart as a whip, totally engaged, transparent and willing to 'go there' with me wherever I went.

My wife (who was in L.A with me for the first time) told me afterward that she had to remember to keep breathing, she was so engrossed in what was going on.

After we wrapped, Hef's crew told us that was the best interview they'd ever seen him give. "Man, you got stuff out of him I've NEVER heard him talk about, and we've heard him talk about everything..."

We exited the house, stood outside in the sun, soaking in the beautiful grounds and the fact that, unless there's a party going on, this house is just a house, when Hef appears on the grass walking towards us.

"Hey, you know, I was just thinking..." he says, then goes on to explain one of the key points he was making with an added historical nuance that he wants to make sure we don't miss.  I tell him we'll be sure to explore that and mention that if we could have access to his archives for supporting material that'd be most helpful.  He smiles, winks, then nods to his VP of PR. 

We shake hands. Three Bunny's come out of the house, pile into a limo, and off they go--to a theater opening or something.

Hef.

85, very smart, very open and (according to the interview) possessed of a life history with just as much pain and suffering as you.

Maybe more.

Eye opening stuff.

T

A good helper...

"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him..."

-Gen 2:18 (NKJV)

Now, I realize that some of you might bristle a bit at the thought of a woman as a designed 'helper' to a man. To that I say, this is my blog and I'll cry if I want to. Or, this is my blog and I'll live and write from a Biblical worldview if I want to.

Doesn't mean you have to.

I'm sure Gloria would *love* a visit.

That said, I wanted to point out my beautiful wife up there because she helped me today.  She was helping me the day my youngest son took the above shot.  We were sailing to Toronto and Niki spent the trip sitting at the stern to 1) keep me company (it was a long sail) and 2) to watch the wind and the weather systems so that she could 3) grab the tiller if/when I needed to make sail changes to keep us moving and safe.

A good helper.

A friend of mine put it this way, "God gave women to men as helpers because men *need* help..."

It's true.

We had a chat this morning. She came on pretty strong, pointed out some things I was missing and urged me to take right action.  I listened (mad at first) but--seeing as she knows me better than anyone else alive--I listened good, got over my anger, weighed what she was saying, sat on it a bit, then took right action.

Thanks Nik.

If you're a man and you have a good godly wife, listen to her.

She's there to help.

If you're a man who's older than 22, has a job, and is still single go find a wife quick...

You could use the help.

T