last one...

Big moment.

Just finished writing the last episode (#325) of one of the TV series I've been producing for the past year.

It's been fun and tough and challenging and frustrating and rewarding all at once.

Talk about a roller coaster. 

I've felt really down the last couple days--facing the end of it--but now that it's done I feel excited and relieved.

Relieved because I was able to finish the job and excited because every time in my life I've faced this kind of uncertainty I've found myself--a few months down the road--doing newer, fresher, cooler, harder, more fulfilling things.

So, bring on the next chapter and my love and thanks to our cast and crew.

T

190 (or 60) and counting...

One of the Producer/Preachers best friends is water.

Yup.

Water.

Spiritual and physical.

You need to keep yourself 'filled' because the whole point of what you do is to pour yourself out for others.  

You pour out ideas, dreams, and effort--with hours of phone calls and negotiations and planning and budgeting and studying and reading and writing and thinking and selling and meeting and crafting and speaking.

And if you don't take care of yourself, spiritually, physically and mentally--sooner or later--you'll find yourself empty.

Like a husk.

And you and I both know that there's nothing worse for the creative person than having nothing left to give.

Thing is, this is true for you as well even if you're not a creative person or someone whose life is about communicating ideas to others.  Even if you're a mom at home with her kids or a dad coming home from the grind, you're going to need to make sure you've got enough left to 'give' both to your spouse and to your babies.

I'm thinking of an image of baby birds, beaks spread wide, squeaking for their parents to feed them.  That's your kids with you.  They need you to provide for them, not just sustenance or a roof but inspiration, truth, meaning, love, purpose, passion, and faith.

If you don't give it to them, they'll get it nowhere else.

Same deal with your audience.  When someone sits down to watch or listen to your work you are like a parent to them.  For that space in time you are their provider--or at the very least a mediator through whom provision will be given them.

It's serious business this life-building, sermon-preaching, story-telling thing.

Keep yourself filled friend.

'Cause we're all thirsty for what you have to give.

T

on set nonetheless...

My apologies for the bummer post earlier today.  It's a fine line with this blog.  On the one hand I want to be honest and open but on the other--with the number of readers steadily climbing--this space is more 'public' than would otherwise necessarily be optimized for personal catharsis.

Anyway...

I also posted some of my 'feelings' (I feel a bit chic-i-fied) on my facebook page and I've got some of my friends worried.

I just wanted to say that since my blog post from earlier today a couple things have happened.

1) a script we've been developing is starting to get some preliminary--but exciting--traction in La-la land, so that's cool and I'm grateful.

2) my crew in Vancouver really came together and my hosts are really digging deep and tonight's shoot is on-time and humming along nicely.

Like I keep saying, you keep putting one foot in front of the other.

It's hard sometimes but what I/we do is hard--and maybe the same is true for you--so there you go.

Keep going.

T

the end of the road...

This is how I feel today.

Today's a 'bad day'.

Why?

Well, today is the start of the last three days of shooting on one of the series I've been producing.  It's the last three days because the series has been cancelled.  What's really difficult about it is that we hit the targets we were told we needed to hit to get renewed and audience response has been very strong.  All the signs were pointing to good things then--one day--we just got this call.

"Yeah, we're not going to renew for a second season."

YANK!

Just like that.

And all the people working on the thing are so devastated, and some of them feel it's my fault and there's nothing I can do about it.

Lemme' tell you, writing the last 90 episodes has been somewhat less than fun for me.  It's hard enough doing this kind of volume and style of work when things are looking good, but once the axe has fallen and you're really just filling in the days 'till it's over?

That's tough.

And the urge to try and make sense of it, to find some reason, to figure out a way of looking at the past year and a half of my life as somewhat less than 'wasted' is a tough one.

I know that there's no such thing as 'wasted time' in God's economy.  I know that if you put your heart into a thing, even if it doesn't turn out the way you'd hoped, you're always moving towards something else and something good.  

I know it's about the journey and not about the destination. 

But in the midst of all the things I 'know' I'm feeling very low.

Through it though, I'm putting one foot in front of the other--like a good soldier should--working my way through enemy territory, head on a swivel, sniffing the air, watching the sky, stepping carefully and listening.

I know that--someday--I'll break out into a field somewhere and find myself in a season of good and plenty.

Just not today.

Today, I'm in the trenches.

And it 'aint fun.

T

work in progress...

So, here's what it takes to do what I do.

For those of you new readers--I'm a Producer/Director in lifestyle/talk television and an emerging (meaning I've only done one so far...) Producer/Director in feature-film.  In addition, I'm an erstwhile Preacher/Church Planter.

Anyway, the desk is deployed in the service of TV production today.

Here's what we're looking at--from left to right...

-The blue post-it note has my flight info for tomorrow's flight.  I get up at 4:30am, fly at 7:00am land--on the other side of the country--at 9:00am (PST) and start shooting at 5:30pm.

-Under the blue post-it note are my longhand estimates of what each of our 'staff' will be making this year.  As part of our overall budget, I have to crunch those salary numbers to 1) make sure we can afford 'em and 2) make sure the staff will do their thing for that number without feeling taken advantage of.

-The two stacks of 8.5/11 paper are episode outlines, telling me what we've already shot, the content and duration.  I use these sheets to make sure I'm covering what's needed.  The sheets exist on my computer screen as well.

-Above and to the left of those sheets are my 1) phone 2) a flower from my daughter in my pen jar 3)my stapler 4) my glass of water--I drink H20 non-stop when I'm working so that I don't get hungry and snack unnecessarily 5) a picture of my babies so that I keep the 'why' in perspective.

-Center frame we have 1) my desk blotter where I scribble notes during phone calls 2) My MacBook which is like a second--and much more reliable--brain 3) my BOSE earphones which allow me to 'zone out' and work no matter where I am.  As long as the soundtrack is consistent I always feel somewhat 'at home' 4) a breakdown of all the new interviews--50 of 'em--that I have to write into the next 90 episodes.

-Above and to the right we have 1) my 'pay these bills' stand where urgent bills are on-display so I don't forget them 2) my external drive where I back my files up 3) my latest stack of receipts--one of probably 20 stacks representing probably 60K in expenses from last year 4) all the CD's that make up my iTunes file in their original--physical--form.  5) an outline of all the new 'dramatic' segments we shot--25 of 'em--to be incorporated into these next 90 episodes.

-At the far right of frame, from the bottom up, we have 1) a stack of scripts and concepts we're developing 2) my printer 3) a form--on top of the printer--for an application related to a new project I'm working on (Church-related) that I can't talk about yet.

How's that?

The life--and desk--of a producer...

Who is procrastinating.

T

the power of a role model...

This is my daughter Sarah, her next door neighbor, and my baby daughter Zoe out for an afternoon run.

They ran from our house to the stop sign (top right) and back--probably four hundred yards. 

They went for a run because...

This is my wife (in pink on the right) on her cool down walk after a run with her friend.  They ran 6.5 km's.

My daughters run because my wife runs.

My son has started blogging because his Daddy does.  

My baby boy loves cars 'cause I do.

My marriage is strong 'cause my parents' was.

I believe because they did.

I won't be surprised if my kids end up living outside the margins, doing what they love, and leveraging the story of our faith--when appropriate and in the right contexts--into the things they do.

'Cause, when it all comes down to it, you tend to grow as you've been grown.

And that's something to think about with your kids.  What are your habits?  What kind of marriage are they seeing you display?  Do they know you love your work or know that you live for the weekend?  Do they see you chasing your wife around the house or ignoring her?  Do they see you pray and read and believe or do the see you paying lip-service?  Do they hear you trying to treat the people you work with with respect or do they know you don't really give a rat about anybody else?  

To lesser degree this kind of 'leading by example' works at work too.  Now, let it be said, that not everyone you work with or know will respond to your example.  Many will just go on doing their thing and will remain contemptuous of your ethic, attitude and demeanor no matter how hard you try, but there will also be some who (to quote the apostle) 'mimic your way of life' and that influence is probably some of the most effective influence you will ever have.

Just like you shape your kids you just might shape those around you--and through them their sphere of influence and so on and so forth--until the culture of your town might begin shifting towards the good, the pure, the lovely.

So, how 'bout it?  Ready to set an example?  On-set, on-stage, in-pulpit, at board meeting? If you are, get your shoes on and start running.

T

mad traffic...

I'm getting MAD traffic to this here blog today.

It's 'cause our "JESUS CHRIST!" special got HUGE ratings.  We just found out it rated in the top 3 for all the commissioned projects our network did for the ENTIRE year.

Pretty cool stuff.  It's a great feeling to have made something that connected.

If you're interested, you can watch it here.

Thanks to our crew (T&C&K&P) for making it happen.

Check 'er out.

T