Head to Head...

That's my 'fine foxy wife' on the right (and our 'fine foxy friend' Jen on the left).

My wife is my friend.

See, our life is tres uncertain these days.  The show biz contracts we've been working to close since LAST OCTOBER just refuse to do so.  There are many reasons for this but, the reality is, for us--regardless of the reasons--this has translated into extreme uncertainty and no small amount of stress.

One encouraging thing in the midst of it is that we're much less stressed than we have been in the past when going through seasons like this.  In fact, I'm finding the whole 'trust Jesus' thing much more intuitive this time 'round than I ever have before.

That's a sign of growth for which I'm thankful.

That said--we're no 'supermen' here--we have had many a sleepless night, my wife's psoriasis is flared way the heck up, and our bank account is on life-support.

Not fun.

So, anyway, today I popped out to run a quick errand (our post-production gear is arriving from out west) and on the way there it occurred to me that I needed to sit down with my 'friend' (the bikini-clad one on the right) and make sure we were still 'on the same page' in terms of our life and where we (think) we're going.

See, I brought home an 'Islands' magazine for her last night.  I was trying to cheer her up.  She loves to travel, loves warm climates and dreams of spending much time in the tropics some day. Unfortunately, the cover story was all about 'MOVING' to the Islands, trading in the 'rat race' of your North American existence for a 'dream life' in the Caribbean.  The article explored several of the most 'Immigrant Friendly' Islands and the one that 'happens' to be the most 'kid friendly' (a must for us given our four rug rats) also happens to be the most 'Immigrant Friendly' provided you bring them a compelling business plan.

Well, that, I can handle.

See how easy it is to start lusting?

I mean, in our minds, the thought of selling everything, moving to the Islands, starting a small business and finding an old clapboard church somewhere that would LOVE to have a guy like me preach *fire* on Sunday's (with no other obligations) is VERY attractive.

"Yeah, but, you PASTOR a new church in BURLINGTON, a church you've been thinking about EXPANDING and really taking 'off to the races' this fall AND you're 'creative partner' in a production business you've been giving your BLOOD to grow for the past ten years.  You wanna' just THROW all that away?"

Exactly.

(meaning that's *exactly* the right question--not that that's *exactly* what I 'want' to do...)

The thing is this, I come from the 'life is what you make it...' *slash* 'choose your own adventure...' school of theology.  I believe God is God, He's good, and made you to love Him, serve Him, follow Him, obey and enjoy Him forever.  I believe that, sometimes, God speaks clearly to you, telling what you 'need' to do, or 'must' do.  However, I also believe that if/when God *doesn't* speak clearly to you (ie: audibly, tangibly, prophetically, miraculously) you do this (and I learned this from my Dad)...

"Hi God.  I love you.  I know you love me too.  Thanks for that.  Look, I'm not 'hearing' from You on this, so here's what I think I'm going to do, and I'm going to do it as 'unto' You, for Your glory, my joy and the good of Your people.  Since You love me and I'm 'called according to Your purposes...' I know that You're going to work this out for my good whether I'm 'right' or 'wrong' in this, whether I 'succeed' or 'fail'.  Since you're also my Father, I trust You to stop me if I really need to be stopped.  So here I go..."

And off you go.

So, that said, I'm usually pretty 'open' to curve-balls or left-field interruptions.

THAT said, our wee church (summer 'blahs' notwithstanding) *is* growing and peoples lives *are* changing and my bikini-clad friend and I are 'very' aware of the significance of that and are in no hurry to betray that trust.

THAT said, say 'cataclysm' (like, these pending deals went from 'in delay'  to "We've decided to go in another direction...") came calling, well you'd need to be able to pivot off that wouldn't you?  Well, yeah, you would.

So, that's why I sat down with her today (after the errand) and said, "Look, here's what I'm thinking.  I think the uncertainty of my 'income earning work life' is uncertainty that we can't do anything about right now but just 'cause my 'income earning work life' is uncertain doesn't mean WE have to be uncertain.

Good point.

WE need to be certain about what God has called us to do (or what we've told God we're going to do, as unto Him...) and we just need to be about the business of being about our business.

"So..." I said, "Here's what that looks like.  I think we do *this* and, right now I start working towards the fall where we'll do *this* and we just lock in and commit to *this* long-term and let the uncertainty work itself out 'cause God's going to provide for us regardless of the relative uncertainty we're wading through and there's no point waiting around when we've got *this* to be doing.  So, as long as you're 'with me' and 'cool' with this, I'm going to hit the ground running.  Cool?"

"Cool..." she said.

Hot chick, lemme' tell ya'.

T