As long as you've got a kitchen...

(wasn't inspired to blog today, then I saw that I've added new readers in South America and Europe so I thought I'd do it for them...)

Life is pretty simple, right?

You need clothes 'cause unless it's 'time', it's usually good to have your naked body covered to say nothing of the fact that's it's minus 21 degrees in our home town right now.

(nine degrees in Vancouver though...)

You also need somewhere to sleep where, ideally, it's not going to snow or rain on your head. So, typically a roof over the head is a nice thing.  If you have a roof that's going to stay the same for a while, meaning you don't have to move too often, all the better.

And, under that roof, you need to have some way to cook things and something to cook.

You got those covered, chances are, you can build a life.

Same thing with a Church and/or a TV show or a movie.

With a Church, you got to be able to give your people an 'experience' of worship that reminds them that God is alive.  Week in and week out, if you do more than a 'sing song' you'll probably be okay.  Add to that a kids program that's actually fun for the kids in your community so that they don't give their parents a hard time every Sunday when it's time to go to Church and you'll find that your Church probably grows.  And if you actually preach the simple truth with passion and conviction and honesty...

Well then, you can build a Church.

With a TV show it's all about consistently delivering something people want.  A show that takes them away for a half hour or an hour and puts them somewhere (in their heart and mind) 'other' that's nicer, or better, or more interesting, or moving than their normal.  With TV it's all about the 'grind'--being able to churn out episode after episode of 'goodness' on-time, on-budget through working with talented people who've bought into a vision (usually yours) that's got legs.  If you can rise to that challenge...

Well then, you can build a TV series.

With a movie it's all about story at first.  A story that moves, that captivates, that takes you away to a place you want to see brought to life for the screen so that it will connect to the lives of millions of people.  Once you get the story it's all about assembly.  Assembling the money and the people (who get paid with that money...) to turn the thing into reality.  Then it's about being able to do it--being able to work your ass to the bone until it's done.  Then it's about getting the thing to market and stewarding the thing, for seven years or so.  If you're man enough for that...

Well then, you can make yourself a movie.

See, it's not 'complicated'.  A Church needs the power of the Gospel alive in it.  A TV series needs to be comfy like an old sweater.  A movie needs to move.

And a life needs a kitchen.

Do you have what you need?

('cause until you do, chances are, you're just running in circles...)

T

Twelve years later...

So that was Niki and I walking down the isle twelve years ago this past Sunday, December 28th.

"Just Married..." as they say.

Funny thing is, we still feel that way.  We spent our anniversary with our babies for the first half of the day, then Niki's Mom came over to watch the kids so Nik and I could have the afternoon to ourselves.

We went out for lunch at a pub.  We bought her some Lulu pants and got mine hemmed.  We walked the streets of downtown Oakville.  Bought a bottle of our favorite wine.  Went grocery shopping.  Had a wonderful time.

Like a couple of old married folk.

As we drove I asked her to hit me with some of her favorite memories from the past twelve years.  She talked about the babies, our first place with Gord and Michelle, our early vacations, all the traveling we did in our twenties, setting up all our different houses, mentioned that she still feels like she's "playing house".

I talked about planting our Church and the first Sunday we cracked 200 and I knew we were going to be okay, my favorite chair in our first place and all the books I read sitting there with her, the first seven minutes into the first screening of my first feature-film and feeling that the audience was 'there' with us, our many trips together, dinners outside, and just sitting in our Muskoka (Adirondack) chairs together in the warm season.

So many memories.

She mentioned that in some ways it feels like we've been together forever and at other times she feels like it was just yesterday.

Like she's losing track of time.

I hooked on that for her anniversary card.  Remember what they say about time?  They say it flies when you're having fun.

Like us.

How is this applicable to you?

Well if you're thinking about getting married, or wondering why you got married, or just feeling a bit tired of the journey may we (gently) remind you that marriage can be a wonderful thing.  If you work at it, cultivate it, pour your heart and soul and dreams and body into it, it can turn out just fine.

Keep your wife the zenith of your desire and you'll be alright.  Orient your life around each other and you'll do fine.  Pursue the 'death of self' and the life of her and you'll survive.  Keep grabbing at her and showering with her and talking to her and dating her and making her breakfast and doing the things she likes to do and you just might thrive.

The point is that perseverance is everything.  Focus.  Training your entire life to the betterment of an other.

That's marriage.

It only works if you do it like that.

If you don't, you'll probably hate your life.

If you do build your life with that kind of focus you'll find yourself alive and well.

Needless to say (for this forum) that same kind of devotion 'plays' in your work as a Church Planter or a Movie Maker or a _____________ .  

Make a habit of self-examination.  Check your attitude each day, check your passion, check your focus, check your work ethic.  Make sure you're pouring yourself into your partner and into your offspring (if applicable) and into you work.

The whole deal with this 'life less ordinary thing' is that it's lots of hard work.

But, we're here to remind you (twelve years later) that there is a payoff.

Big time.

(should'a seen how good she looked later that night...)

Happy Anniversary.

Todd and Niki Cantelon

xo

T

The Beautiful Things...

Nothing like uncertainty to focus your vision.

I do realize that this 'season' of blogging may come across a little more 'mopey' than my "I'm a strong, cool, got-it-together kind of guy" self-image would typically be comfortable with, but them's the breaks when you're waiting for a deal to close.

Update on that:

Last I heard, days ago, the 'honcho' was going to look over the budgets then get back to us with what I was told would be a 'green light' as they wanted us to start actually working the first week of December.

Well it's the first week and I'm still waiting.

My biz-partner is fond of telling me that things are moving 'lightning fast' by 'corporate standards' and that I should relax.  The harsh reality is that things aren't moving anywhere near fast enough for me, since it's Christmas and I've got four beautiful things to take care of.

See 'em up top?  Lovely no?

One thing my parents never did (and my parents are wonderful by the way) was talk to us about money.  We never really had any clear sense of what they made or how they managed their money.  My impression (and I could be wrong, y'never know when your Mom might find your blog...) was that they kept it to themselves by way of sheltering us from the stress of it and because it was kind of a 'generational thing' inherited from their parents...you just don't talk about certain things.

I wanted to be a little more transparent with my kids.  

Now, I've certainly not gone 'full disclosure' with them.  They're not aware of the particularities of our current 'transitional financial state' but they do know that we're waiting for these 'deals' to close; to the point that they've started praying for it.  

In classically 'childlike' manner, they're praying for the deals to close so that we can buy them the things they've asked for from us for Christmas.  They've got no stress about the things they've asked Santa for since, according to them, "The Big Guy's made of money..."  But that ne'er do well father of theirs, well he's gotta' close them deals.  Sarah said at breakfast today; "Well, why don't you just close 'em daddy?"  

My thoughts exactly.

So we wait.

And our mental state while waiting is increasingly fragile.  Niki and I typically wake up stressed, don't talk much while prepping breakfast, calm down a bit by our second cup of coffee then ramp up to stressed again by lunch then off a bit for the busy afternoon, then back up for dinner after which we try to do our best to not think about anything other than the next episode of 'Lost' or the latest romantic comedy I've rented for her.  And, yes, I'm aware that food has a lot to do with our emotional cycles.

In all seriousness, it's a dance to keep one's state of mind (and spirit) in healthy orientation.  I keep thinking of Job and spurring myself on to love God in the midst of this 'dark' (relatively speaking of course, I'm consistently reminded that there are many [MANY] out there suffering to much greater degree than us...) season that's stretching on to two years now.

Niki said it yesterday... "Man, we've been 'church-less' for two years..."

Two.  Years.

Jordie picked up on the phrase; "Yup', we're ChurchLess", like he likes how it rolls off his tongue.  The kids have started lobbying for us to plant another Church. They still ask about our old one which is endearing 'cause when asked for specifics about what they remember of it, things get real hazy real fast.  

Adding to the tension is the lack of a 'backup plan'.  That'll cause your heart to constrict right there (and God help me if my Mother-in-LAW find this...) Amazes me sometimes.  I wonder if I'm irresponsible or faithful.  After thinking on it for a bit I tend to land on the latter, simply because I decided to sell my life out to following the path of faith many, many, years ago now. I don't really have any other options.  As I've said many times before, it really does come down to whether or not you actually believe that God exists.  If you don't, then live your life.  If you do, well then, "My life is God's life now..." is how I put it once.

So, reduced to that kind of faithful foolishness, one has very little recourse but to live life moment to moment doing one's best to focus on all the beautiful things you encounter along the way while you wait for God to do His thing.

Things like a great egg and cheese sandwich made for my wife and I this morning. Things like a great sex life (oops, Mom or wife might be reading this...) and a marriage that is still glorious after nearly eleven years.  (We were sitting by our Christmas tree this week, eggnog to hand, candles burning, and Niki looked over at picture of us on the wall.  "We've been doing this a really long time."  She said. "I'm so amazed it hasn't gotten old." 

Things like glorious kids with eyes that shine.

I've been thinking about atheism lately (there's been some ruckus about it and connected to me at an online community I'm part of) and I just can't square it with my gorgeous kids or the lovely way in which the bark on my backyard tree spirals up towards the sky.

None of those beautiful things make any kind of sense in a world with no God.  

Last time I checked, 'natural selection' didn't care about beauty, just survival (and don't go commenting about how 'beauty' enhances reproductive ability...I already thought that one through...) and all around me I see...

The beautiful things.

So I keep on believing.

T