Fighting through small-ness and fear...

Tiny Sunday this week at THE WELL, in fact, our smallest Sunday crowd ever. Mind you, we've only been in existence for ten months, but still, we were almost the same size as my wife's extended family this week.

I should be depressed about it, right?

Nope.  

See, it's 'Summer Slump', every church in North America is seeing a 30% (on average) drop in weekly attendance.  At THE WELL we're down 25% in attendance but up 9% in giving.  Thing is we're seeing NEW people every couple weeks or so which means we're GROWING through the summer, even though, to look at the room, you wouldn't know it.

Combine the people we had on Sunday with the people we usually have who were away and you end up with a very respectable summer number.

Plus, I'd prepared myself for twelve.

That's right, I was bracing myself to preach to my family, my associate and his wife, and maybe a couple stragglers.  So when my eldest son came running into the sanctuary right before we started and reported (with glee in his eyes) that "THIRTY FOUR people are here Daddy!" I smiled and thanked Jesus.

34 'aint sexy but it 'aint twelve.

Sometimes faithfulness is by the skin of your teeth.

See, I'd been feeling VERY down about life in the three days leading up to Sunday.  On the one hand I was preparing for a TINY day at church and on the other I was really struggling with the ongoing 'limbo' that has settled down into my life work-wise.  We've been working since the Fall of last year to try and close the deal on the main TV series I produce in the hope that we'd get a second season and thereby have a means of income and some productive work to do in 2010.  The deal was originally supposed to close in March and, well, it's June and we're still not closed.

On the one hand this is very 'normal' for show business.  The stakes are high, the risks real, and nobody ever makes a quick decision.  But, we're going on eight months of uncertainty at this point and one thing I've learned from experience...

Uncertainty will wear you down.

My wife's psoriasis is acting up something fierce, my neck is in knots, we're not sleeping, two to three days out of seven we're very 'low' and downright grumpy, we're watching every penny and doing our best not to lose hope and forsake faith.

When?  WHEN? when? WhEn?

"What if this doesn't happen?"

Dwell on that one for too long and it'll send you right 'round the bend.

So, you see, Sunday was about more than small numbers, it was significant of all the uncertainty and fear and risk and 'un-rewarded toil' in our lives presently.  

That's why, when I got up to start preaching, and God the Ghost fell on me in a powerful way and I was gifted with the ability to preach like the 34 in the room were 3,400 and I could tell that the people were 'with it' and 'getting it' and 'feeling it' too, it was more than just a 'good moment'. It was healing.

It was hope.

It was promise.

"You're not wasting your time. You're not going bankrupt. You're going to be fine."

So stop being so stupidly faithless and calm-the-you-know-what down.

Yes, you.

Yes, me.

If you're doing what you've been made to do from a heart that's cut and a soul laid bare and your highest hope is that the King will be pleased with you, you should stop worrying and just enjoy the ride.

I'm not saying don't be scared, 'cause we're scared, that's real.  I'm not saying don't get tense, 'cause we're tense, ask my neck.

I am saying, trust the process 'cause the process has a Lord and He's not in the business of seeing the righteous beg bread.

Go tell that to your neck.

T