So first, lemme' just say, that 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' is exquisite. Yes, you heard me, absolutely, totally...
Exquisite.
I was transported, absorbed, inspired, moved, and challenged to be a better man.
That's always the highest praise I can give when it comes to ranking a movie's affect on me--does it, or does it not, inspire me to be a better man.
BB did.
So well done Mr. Fincher and Mr. Pitt and Ms. Blanchett and Swinton and the writers, producers, and crew. Nicely done.
Inspired me again re: making sure I get to make more movies.
And here I am, speaking of making movies in H'wood(North), back in Vancity, with my wife and babies, staying here...
And the funny thing about it is that, nice as our house is, and it's pretty nice--almost humblingly so--we had a hard time sleeping last night because we felt displaced and lonely. My wife had a hard time leaving yesterday. Bad enough that our next door neighbors kept their two kids home from school to say goodbye and that you could hear them sobbing from down the block as we pulled away, but my brother and his wife and kids decided they'd come to the airport to see us off.
And then their littlest son collapsed on the ground in tears and wailing as we left them at security. Not a good scene.
So Niki didn't sleep last night, worried about all the people whose lives she's ruining.
Neighbors, Mother, kids, her own...
Then we got to talking it through this morning and here's where we ended up:
Most people (or at least 'many'...) don't ever leave their 'normal' because they end up feeling the way we're feeling. Feeling displaced, or suffering dislocation, is so hard in the initial stages that we do almost anything to avoid it. We live in such a way that our day to day life is as normal and expected as possible because that way of living is comfortable, contained, expected, and known.
Once you leave your 'normal' you invite insecurity into your life.
(will we meet friends? where will we buy groceries? will the kids like it? will anyone come see us? where do you get good coffee? what's a nice afternoon drive? can we get ice cream somewhere? what do you do on the weekend? is there a mall nearby in case we need to go to American Eagle?)
And facing, and conquering, insecurity is a very tough thing to do.
I requires you to stretch.
Like working out. You stretch--break down--a muscle in order to make it stronger.
And we realized that many people never 'work out' the borders of their life for the same reason(s) they never 'work out' their bodies.
Because it hurts.
But, it occurred to us as we were showering, if you never force yourself to stretch, if you live your life within a comfortable, normal, zone you end up never achieving the kind of wisdom, or depth that only comes from suffering the stretch.
And, if you're someone who's trying to live for more than just a paycheck, if you're trying to make some kind of 'contribution' to the World around you, if you're leveraging the way you spend the hours of your life to try and make a (positive) impact on the people around you, if you never become a person wiser and richer for the stretching and the suffering you end up short-changing the World.
That's right.
Unless you suffer and stretch you can't give as much back to those you love, those you meet and those you never know that you impact.
You can't really be 'great' at life if you've never suffered, or feared, or lost, or stretched.
So, from this lonely father and his wife to you, here's our vote for stretching this year.
If you're feeling a 'call' to move beyond your 'normal' we suggest you do it. You, those you love, and the very World you inhabit will be the better for it.
You'll preach better sermons. You'll make better movies. You'll build a career that matters and your kids will be proud to call you 'Dad'/'Mom'.
T
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