A stranger in a strange land...

And I do mean 'strange'.

I've been at a church planting conference in Texas the last couple days.  A conference full of 'strange' people.

Now before you go getting all offended, lemme' quickly (very quickly) say that every church-related conference I've even been to is full of 'strange' people.

Also...

Every show-business related conference I've ever been to is full of 'STRANGE' people.

(really strange people)

It's not that some people are strange and other people are normal, it's that all people are strange, just in different ways and the key is to figure out which group of strange is your kind of strange.

Feel me?

It's amazing actually, even as I'm writing this I'm starting to decompress a bit.

See, yesterday I wrote a blog from the conference and I was still so upset that I went back and deleted the blog lest I spread my infectious negativity to my 2,000 or so monthly readers and--potentially through them--to their various spheres of influence.  A remarkable step for me, deleting a blog, as I've never--in 300+ posts--felt moved to do such a thing.

I wanted to write.  I was tracking your visits to this site, knowing that you were probably looking for something new this week, but I didn't have anything good to say and while it's one thing to 'feel' a certain way about a thing it's another thing all together to just let your feelings rip in a public forum.

So, I yanked it.

But today, I figured I'd have some distance and some clarity.

And I do.

Here's what hit me.  I realized--for the first time--that the reason I get upset at church planting conferences is because I'm just not that excited about church planting on a large scale.  Yes, I'm a church planter (having planted two churches from scratch by now) but that's not where my passion lies.  And because 'church planting' is such an 'in' thing in christian circles right now there's a lot of 'institutional pressure' to think of church planting as 'the thing' that anybody who's even remotely connected to 'church work' should be doing.

But I'm really just a preacher and a producer.

I was listening to a friend preach and he referenced his 'moment of calling' again; that moment where God made it clear to him what he was supposed to do with his life.  He went on to say how he'd tried to always just do those things, avoiding the other opportunities that have come along the way so that he could focus on what he was supposed to (or called to) do.

He said you must pursue your 'calling' not your 'potential'.

Aha!

I realized in that moment that I 'can' do many things but 'should' only do what I've been 'called' to do.

I have another friend who needs to hear this.

(you're probably reading this aren't you?)

See, he's one of the most multi-talented guys I know.  He can do (and has done) many things at a very high level.  Because he's so talented at so many things he's had a hard time (by times) in his life focusing on just one (or two) thing(s).

To a significantly lesser degree I've dealt with that in some small way (I know I'm repeating my qualifiers but I'll take whatever 'excessive humility' I can get) myself, feeling like I could do many things and, often, trying my hand at them.

Like church planting, for example.

I have church planted (twice). I like church planters.  I admire church planters.

But it's not the thing God 'called' me to do when He saved me at 11.

What God told me to do was to grow up to do a mixture of what Stephen Spielberg and Billy Graham 'do'.  Story-tell, or communicate, or 'preach' from the pulpit and for the screen.

That's it.

That's it.

That's it.

So, that's what I need to do.  Nothing more, nothing less.

See, I get very excited about preaching.  I'm thrilled to be able to do it week in and week out at THE WELL.  One of the reasons I got into church planting in the first place was because no-one would hire me to preach.  

(believe me, I've tried, and tried, and tried, and tried again to get hired and it NEVER works)

See, Herman Melville said it right in the preface to 'Moby Dick' when he said that 'the pulpit leads the world'.

How much more so does the pulpit lead a church?

Totally.

Whoever takes the pulpit in a church leads that church.  Everything in a church flows from it's pulpit and it's main preacher.  The entire culture of the church is set in and from the pulpit.

So, no wonder, they'd never hire me.  Why on earth would any pastor in their right mind hire someone else to lead (through preaching) their church?

Not gonna' happen.

So, along the way I got confused.  Because I needed to plant a church in order to create a forum (or environment) in which I could obey God's calling, I got sucked into 'church planting culture' and, though I've said I love church planters and get jazzed by the prospect of helping them in any way I can, my PRIMARY calling is simply as a preacher and a producer.

Not a church planter.

It's like I HAD to plant a church in order to be obedient to God's call to preach.

Same way as I HAD to start my own production company in order to be able to produce without punching a clock at some network or studio which would (in turn) have not allowed me to be faithfully preaching anywhere.

("Sorry, our VP of development can't be here for our emergency weekend meeting, he's busy PREACHING at his church...")

Not gonna' fly.

So, I had to start one myself.  Not 'cause I'm primarily an 'entrepreneur' or a businessman (though I 'could' do both somewhat well if I put my mind to it...) but because I needed to create a context in which I could be obedient to God's call.

A simple truth and yet one that's seemed to have evaded me for some time now.

So, I hereby repent of my desire to do 'too many' things.

(if I've wronged you somehow in my attempts at finding my way and finding my place, I ask for your forgiveness...)

I hereby commit to doing only what I've been called to do.

Preach and Produce.

That's it.  That's all.

That's me.

T