Big moment...

Dedicated my nephew Cameron to Jesus yesterday at church.

In the absence of his Father.

It was a painful and glorious moment.

This whole journey with Robbie and Kate and their kids has been that way. Deeply painful, and yet, glorious in some awful (awe*full) way. I say *awe* full because of the way in which God is still making Himself real to us in the midst of an experience that should be completely wiping out any faith we ever had in Him.

I can't say I can explain it. I can't say I don't have *any* moments of doubt or deepest disappointment; but I can say that there have been *many* more moments where God has broken through to us in a profound way, than there have been moments where we've felt abandoned.

What's interesting is to see what this journey in us (my family) is doing to our church. It's not that the two are *directly* connected or that we're (especially Kate) at all happy that we've become (in some way) a living 'object lesson', but I have to say, I am seeing strange and undeniable evidence in our congregation that our family's suffering (again, especially Kate's) is getting through to them in a way that is *opening* them up (rather than shutting them down) to the work of the Holy Spirit.

Strange days.

I cried so much yesterday I ended up feeling (for the rest of the day) like I had a red-hot poker being shoved through my left eye.

Kind of like the year so far has felt.

But in it, God is making Himself real to us.

Heavy duty stuff.

T