date time...

Cute right?

She was my date today.

Sarah, also known as 'bird' for short or 'goonie bird' if you want to use the full nickname.  It started with calling her a 'goon' 'cause she was crazy from day one.  Seriously, the most eccentric, cool, hilarious, weird, lovely child from three months on.

Crazy like a goon.  A gooney bird.

"Goonie Bird" that's her name.

My bird.

We went on a date today.  She'd been at art class and Daddy picked her up in the 'sports car' and we went for cheeseburgers at Wendy's followed by a trip to the dollar store for pink sunglasses, some band aids for a cut that had been bothering her and some bazooka gum.

Then we drove to the marina, got ice cream and went for a walk by the boats in the sun.  She didn't let go of my hand for two hours.

That's about as good as it gets.

This is my simple reminder that, in the midst of the high-pressure careers we endure (church planting and producing for me, _______________ for you) the things that really matter are the simple ones.

For me it's always been loving Jesus, loving my wife and babies, then loving myself and my work.  That's the value system my parents taught me.  It worked for them.  They're almost 40 years married and still love each other and have three kids who're happily married and have given them ten grandkids and my folks still do what they love to do, have no plans to retire but still get to drive their twin Harleys all over creation when they're not in their TR6 or off in Africa caring for tens of thousands of orphans and widows in AIDS stricken communities or producing TV shows or preaching.

It's a good life.

And a simple one.

My hope is that we don't miss the beautiful things.

Like dates with daughters.

T

the view from up here...

I recently took my kids (and the cousins) up the CN Tower.  The trip kinda sucked.  Super expensive and packed.  Serves me right for going during the summer tourist season.

Being able to take this shot was cool though.

I'm looking west from the top of the tower towards Burlington--the city where I live--where I do my work as a TV and film producer and where I will work (starting any day now) as a--soon to be--second time church planter.

I'm in this weird holding pattern as I wait for Friday.  Friday I'll sign the documents to secure our location for launching this 'second time' church.  Said contract will run from September 13th through 'till June 27th, 2010.

Almost a year.

And the weight of it is making me sober.

Sober because I realize how tough this is going to be--I've done it before and have gotten older which has taught me that what little I know is nowhere near equivalent to what I'm going to have to learn.  Sober because I realize that peoples actual, literal, lives will get caught up in this thing and that's serious business.  Sober because I believe that Jesus builds His Church which means that there's really nothing I can do to make this 'second time' church grown.

Sure I can be faithful and obedient but ultimately I'm not in control.

I'm sober because it's different this time.  I'm not hovering on the edge of poverty (at the moment) this time around and that's hugely different from what life was like for us in 1999-2000 when we were getting ready to plant our 'first time' church.

I'm sober because I'm thinking about the people who might join us.  If I'm honest, I'm a little worried no one will come but I know that's not likely nonetheless I worry.

I'm sober because--if and when some measure of success comes--I realize, after being destroyed these past three and a half years, that staying broken and repentant is going to be so key and I know that that's hard to do and I know I must stay that way.

Plus, the perpetually grey clouds hovering over our city aren't helping.

But in the sobriety I'm full of hope.

Not silly 'airy fairy' hope.

Sober hope.

T

provision...

My wife and I often joke with each other that the only thing we find difficult about 'faith' is faith.

An event this week helped.

If you've been spending any time at all on this here blog lately you'll know that on my plate full of movie and TV business I also have this 'wee' little item titled 'plant a church'.

Yikes!

We've been working towards this for some time specifically and, you could say, my whole life has been building towards this point.  I've always been about living in two worlds at once--the world of mainstream show business and that of church planting/preaching.  In fact, this blog is dedicated to that idea from its header byline.  

I just took a three and half year hiatus.

(during which I learned a lot and got destroyed at the same time...)

So, that said, we've been working very hard to try and find a location in which to start Sunday services.  This, with the exception of fundraising, is the hardest part of getting started with a church.  Part of the toughness has to do with the fact that you've got no money when you start and real estate of a type suitable to this kind of application is scarce.  The other part of it is that, sometimes, they just don't want you.

No joke. 

I had two or three potential landlords shut me down cold the second I told them it was for a church.  If I'd lied and said 'TV studio with some mixed use' they would've been cool but the second you say the 'C word' they clam right up and close down.

In our day and age.

And I get that much of the reason people hate Christianity is because they hate christians but that's like saying you hate swimming cause some people poop in the pool or pee in the lake.

But I digress.

So I've been really grinding it for about a month now with my 'scouting a location' efforts reaching near 'frantic' pitch the past two weeks.  A nice part of it has been that I 'trust' the Lord in the process a bit more than I did when I was younger.  I realize now--in a new way--that there's really nothing I can do to 'make' anything happen so I just keep putting one foot in front of the other while waiting for the miracle to happen.

The point for you is this:

You must face a lot of rejection while you're waiting for the miracle.

And you and I both know that rejection is painful.  No way around it.  One thing (for you church planters) I've done differently this time from the way I did it last time is that I'm just 100% up front about it being for a church and about the fact that we're broke as all heck to start.

No posing.

That's useful for all of us as we seek to build a life, no?

1) embrace rejection 'cause through it you find the miracle

2) stop posing

Oh, the miracle.

Right.

So, yesterday I'm feeling a little stressed about the location as place after place comes back a 'no'.  I decide, during a lull in my day, to re-check our city site.  I hop on and look through every single potential option they've listed.  I'd already checked most of them but not all.

As part of that double-checking I found a spot that I'd missed the first time a month or so ago. Turns out it's the largest 'rehearsal hall' in Canada.  Seats 200.  Has three rooms we can use for kids.  

I call.

I'm honest.

There's a pause.

Then she says, "Oh yes, we've had churches start here before.  We'd love to have you."

What!?

I head right over.  Check the space. Not sexy but workable.  She quotes the price.

Almost TEN TIMES cheaper than the other option I'd been exploring and this spot has 40% the space of the super-expensive one.  40% to 10X .

That's good math.

So we get to documents, she tells me she'll get back to me in a week.  

She calls today.

It's done.

Or will be, this Friday, when I go sign the contract.

My wife has made me swear to TRY and not talk out of turn (as is my default) so I'll wait 'till after I sign them docs to tell you about a wee little church coming soon.

But for today I'm happy (very happy) to remind myself and you that...

Sometimes, while you're trudging your way along, a miracle up and bites you in the butt.

T

funny the way it is...

So before you read the rest of post click here then click back to see me okay?

...

Welcome back.

Great tune right?  The whole album is awesome.  Naturally I'm a Dave Matthews Band fan but I can't imagine how anyone who loves music could listen to DMG and not dig it.

Here's what's got me blogging.

Listening to the album the other day on my walk I found myself really excited to use some of the tracks as pre and post-service 'beds' for the church I'm getting ready to launch.  I find the songs deeply evocative, moving and spiritually tuned.

And they're profane.

In parts.

And I realized--listening to it--that it's only 'church kids' (people who grew up in the context of 'christian culture') who would have a problem with me using some of the most evocative tracks.  I dealt with this at my last church.  I'd use a song--one that had a huge internal message that connected to what I 'felt' was going to be going on in the service that night--and I'd get some church kid up in my face after the service fixated on the one 'off color' word that happened to be embedded in the bridge.

Yup, they missed all the glory, all the pain, all the beauty and instead fixated on one word that they've been conditioned to believe is a 'bad' word.

Even my kids (9, 7, 5, 2.5) know there's no such thing as a 'bad' word.  There are just words--physical things are spiritually neutral after all--it's how you use them, and the condition of the heart dictating the usage, that really matters.

So frustrating.

But I felt a renewed sense of freedom to be free.  I realized that someone whose christianity is more than skin-deep would recognize the glory and pain and beauty in the song and would understand--if only intuitively--why I chose to include it as part of their Sunday experience.  The other type of person, and the one I really care about, the pre or post-christian person, isn't going to have any sort of negative reaction to my slightly 'off color' choice.  In fact they're probably going to react in quite the opposite manner.  

See, they'll be tense to be 'in church' to begin with.  They'll be worried that we're going to brand them upon entry or something.  They'll be concerned that our lobotomy scars will be showing. Sure, a genuine spiritual hunger will have driven them to come visit us but they'll be pretty nervous about it right?  Heck, I'm nervous when visiting a new church and I'm supposedly someone who should be comfortable in that environment--how much more so someone who's new to the whole gig?

So, for them, to hear some DMB will be a comforting thing.  "Hey, that's 'Dave Matthews Band' they're listening to.  Wow.  He just said he'd rather lick her from her back to her belly.  These folk can't be that bad if they're down with DMB..."

And I realized, again, that my job is not typically christian-culture oriented.  I remembered why I always end up feeling compelled to produce for TV and film AND to preach and pastor and help see people find freedom in Jesus.

I was reminded again of the space in the church planting/media landscape my wife and kids and I are supposed to fill.

Then, Saturday night we had a great night with some new friends.  And they were hilarious and wonderful and uninhibited and awesome.  When we got home Nik said, "See,  church-kids would totally miss out on all that 'cause they'd be so busy being offended that they'd never get past it to the beauty of those people."

She's absolutely right.

And, if you're like me--an ex-church kid--you, like me, need to be in repentance.  You, like me, need to focus on the log in your own eye.  You, like me, need to get busy dancing with the people around you.  You, like me, need to relax and glory in His glory.  You, like me, need to remember that the loveliness on display in DMB's new album ultimately finds its root in Jesus and He came to set us free so that we would be free.

Free to love music and people and life and light and dancing and all the good things God has put into the world around us.

It is for freedom that Christ has made us free.

"Everybody get together, gonna' make love shine.  Do you know how it feels to have the light of love inside you?"

T

burnin' through it today...

Some days you end up getting a lot done.

Today's one of those days.

I remind myself--days like today--to be thankful on the good days and to resist depression on the days where I feel like I'm wasting my life.  I've found--in creative enterprise--that you can't 'force it' or make magic appear out of nowhere.

The Spirit (the muse) will do what it'll do when it's good and ready.

You can't rush it.

But when you feel the juices flowing you better put your head down and motor.

The above shot is from the 'one sheet' (a brief page describing a TV show or movie proposal) I just delivered (along with a production breakdown) for a televised special we'll be shooting later this year (probably in the fall) for delivery and airing winter 2009.

It'll be on the debate between straight evolution and intelligent design.

We're working on getting some pretty big names involved.

It's going to be fun.

Watch for it, all across Canada, later this year.

And watch for the Spirit inspiring you in your life friend.

Then (like me) get back to work.

Another 'local pastor meeting' coming up for me in forty minutes.

T

new thoughts...

You're looking at a shot of my computer screen.  Framed is a snippet of text from a proposal I just finished for a new TV series.

The series--if it gets the 'go'--would be five days a week all across America and in Canada as well in specific markets.  It'd be an entertainment show designed to connect pop culture and faith culture.

Dunno' what will come of it but I had fun writing it.  I'll keep you posted.

In 'church planting' news, I met with another pastor from our area yesterday and one the day before and one the day before.  I've got one in two hours and another tomorrow morning.

I've been learning a lot though listening to these men and their 'take' on what's happening in the city, what's not happening in the city, and what they think needs to happen in the city.

I'm very grateful for their time and humbled by their faithful service.

Here are some thoughts from one of them that were useful to me and might be interesting to you in terms of your local context.  Of course, if you're a church planter (or even just interested in church planting) my hope is that these 'inside views' I'll be posting as I work to plant THE WELL (a new church in Bulington Ontario Canada) will be of service to you.

Anway...

-His focus with his church currently (and they've just come out of a year and a half of pretty intense brokenness) is to 'strengthen the core'.  He's building on the idea from pilates that your core muscles (stomach etc) are the center and everything emanates from there.  He's going 'back to basics' with his teaching.

-He told me that one of the biggest churches in our area, a church that prides and markets itself on being a church for people who 'aren't into church' just did a survey and found out that 98% of their people are from other churches.  I get two things from this.  1) I rejoice that they have many people who are leaning to love Jesus, each other and the world around them.  2) I note that even our best-laid plans and strategies typically aren't anywhere near the actual plans God has for His ministry through us to the world.  I synthesize this from that; I must plan but be sure to not hold too dearly to my plans 'cause I'm probably wrong to some (greater or lesser) degree.

-He is focusing on obedience (to Jesus) worship (of Jesus) and prayer (with and to Jesus) as the key elements of his teaching in this new season.

-He reminded me how important it is to tell your people the truth.

-His take on our city is that it's full of broken families.  Because our town is middle to upper-middle class much of that pain is hidden.  He thinks a new church needs to be very mindful of this need.

-He feels there are very few example in the city for young families in terms of how to raise their kids, love their spouse and follow Jesus.

-The demographic of his church is mid to late forties folk who (in his words) are 're-discovering their faith'.  This is contrary to what he thought his demo would be.  I'm encouraged as the demo we're likely to hit is different than his.  That will help us not 'recreate the wheel'.

-He's going through a bit of a charismatic renewal which is cool 'cause wasn't typically oriented that way years ago.  He emphasized that grace and the spirit being poured out go hand in hand.

-He said that people in our town 'expect' more hands-on care or involvement from their pastors then he thought they would.  He seems to think that our town is a town of former blue collar families who've now attained white collar status (something they've striven for all their lives) so that has made them quite 'results oriented' in their outlook.  This informs how we'll do church at THE WELL in that we'll need to contextualize our outward ethic (service design, structure, marketing, brand etc.) with a sense of 'achievement' or 'flash' (God help us) or some degree of 'hey, this place feels like it's 'with it'...' so that we can engage people in a cultural language they understand.  That said I wrote in my notes, "How can you project a vibe of achievement while walking in a spirit of brokenness and humility all the while lifting Jesus high as the only answer, the only life, the only truth there is?"

-I asked him to speak into my life and he said what he 'heard' was 'Preserve the unity of the saints."  It'll be interesting to see what that means in terms of how I walk all this out.

-He said people in our town are looking for productivity.  That'll be interesting to work out.

-He said that our church--to be effective--must be a church that actually penetrates the community.  That dovetails with what another pastor emphasized re: the relative isolation of our town.

-He said a dominant theme in the culture of our town is a creeping cynicism with the veneer of suburbia ie: a 'is this all there is' sense that's growing in our peers.  As we grow up, start achieving things yet still find ourselves unfulfilled we can experience deep dissatisfaction.  This is a wonderful opportunity to talk about Jesus.

-He said he feels our town has a deep sense of spiritual poverty to it.

-He said we must be sure to not define ourselves by what we're 'not' but rather by what we 'are'.

-He felt there's nothing happening in the city currently like what we're hoping to do with THE WELL.

Here's hoping.

T

these are a few of my favorite things...

That there is a shot of one of my favorite moments ever.

It's me and my baby-man Sammie asleep on the deck of my wife's Dad's sailboat.  We were anchored off a small island, had had lunch, and I'd decided to lay down in the sun like a cat.

Just as I was drifting off I felt this warm little hand on my neck and smelled his sweet baby-boy smell and knew my Sam had come to snuggle with his Daddy.

No lie, he just crawled up onto me and we went to sleep rocked by the wind and tide warmed by the sun and our love for each other.

Great moment.

That shot--and moment--have nothing to do with the link I'm about to post except that the one moment was a great moment, for which I'll be ever thankful, and so was the other.

I was invited back to preach at the Church I planted back in 2001.

It was July 12th, 2009.

Another great moment.

Thanks C.

T

scouting...

Went to see this spot today.  The search for a location for THE WELL is on.

One of the hardest things about planting a new church is finding a location that will suit.  The location has to be good--ie: accessible both physically and mentally, meaning people have to think, 'Yeah, I know where that is...'--and the actual spot needs to work in terms of the space for meeting, room for kids, bathrooms and parking.

It's quite the challenge.

I've been wandering the city the past few days looking at spots for lease and hoping that something will jump out at me.  I took the shot of the above spot today knowing that it hadn't jumped out at me.  I took the shot anyway.  The point there is that when you don't 'know' you just go, meaning that you keep working, keep thinking, keep praying all the while waiting to get kicked in the head with something.

Tonight I took my youngest daughter for ice cream while mommy worked out then drove to meet mommy and dropped baby off.  I then scouted two more locations right in the heart of the city.  Seeing them I immediately knew neither would suit.  Leaving the two scout locations I had a split second of discouragement where I thought, "Man, this is impossible, just like last time..." 

I should know.

Five years ago I tried to scout a plant in the same city I'm scouting today.  No matter what I did I couldn't find a spot.  I must have, literally, checked 20-25 different spaces.  The last space I walked into smelled so bad I just 'knew' in that moment that I'd hit a brick wall and that it was time to call it.  

I faced huge cataclysm relationally as a result of that decision.

Nonetheless I knew I'd made the 'right' decision.

Anyway, all that to say that my moment of "I've seen this before..." might have had enough potency to throw me.  However, in the intervening half-decade I've learned a little more, suffered a little more, succeeded a little more and failed a little more.  All of it combining to give me a moment that helped me get past 'that moment' of doubt.

I felt the fear, then started my car and kept driving.

I was no more than a block away when this thought popped into my head.  

"Drive Harvester..."

'Harvester' is one of the main industrial streets in our city.  It stretches from the eastern border of our town right to the western limit.  It's full of office towers and industrial complexes.

Anyway, I listened to the voice in my head and drove to Harvester.  Turned right, drove a mile or so and there it was.

THE space.

Did I just say that?  Would I be audacious enough to admit to myself let alone to my 1,500 or so readers per month that I think I just felt that that space is 'OUR' space?

Well, yes I would.

Am I risking being seen as foolish?  Yes.  Am I risking disappointment?  Yup.  Am I responding in childlike belief and trust?

Yes.

3100 Harvester.

I'm just putting it out there.

I'll keep you posted on how this madness unfolds and if you want to read a note on my visit with an area pastor--a guy who's been doing it here for 15 years--and his take on what he thinks it'll take to build a new church in this city go...

Here.

If you want to start coming to church with me in a month or two and '3100 Harvester' (for no apparent reason) 'sounds' good to you, start praying with me and we'll see if we--in fact--end up seeing you there.

Crazy.

Yes, this is crazy.

If you like faith you're going to like THE WELL.

T

to do...

I'm grateful to be living in an age of the world where we put our 'to do lists' online.

I'm currently reading 'Here Comes Everybody' and it deals pretty intensely with the changes coming to all aspects of the entertainment business (and I do believe that--in some sense--Church work is a form of 'entertainment') as a result of the internet, social media, and the ubiquity of cell phones.

It's blowing my mind.  I'm going to have to read it multiple times.

Anyway, here I am, part of the cohort choosing to put my 'to do list' together online and in public rather than in my notebook just for me.

This is first and foremost for me but I thought it might be useful for you as well.  It'll have lots of content for both church planters and producers.

Here we go...

1) Find a a 'launch location' for our Church.  The school I've been looking at is probably going to be too expensive and the 'gatekeeper' I'm dealing with is showing me 'we don't really want you here' signs.  Today I'll scout a community center, some local hotels and some mixed-use business malls.  The challenge is to find something that will work, will be affordable and will be stable ie: a spot where we'll be able to stay a while.

2) Get my editors back on track.  The main series we're producing this year is teetering on getting behind in terms of its post-production pathway.  I'll have to spend some time this week making sure my editors understand that our delivery deadline is contractual and must be met. The fact that they're even asking us to consider moving the delivery date illustrates one simple fact; unless you're the key stakeholder (ie: the one whose balls are on the line) you don't and won't understand the realities or pressure of contracts, fundraising, and delivery obligations. In other words, and this is no disrespect to 'employees', the only people who really 'care' are the stakeholders.  To some degree--varying depending on the quality of your employees, and in our case the quality is very high--everyone except you ('cause you're the 'owner') will treat this as just a job at the end of the day.

3) Write a pilot.  We've done a deal with a co-producer to develop a supernaturally-oriented dramatic TV series.  I have to write the pilot. They want to start pitching it around town (L.A and NYC) by the end of August.  Before I start writing I have some script breakdowns to do (gonna' re-watch 'The Incredibles' and the pilot episodes of 'Lost' and 'Heroes' by way of refresher) then I'ma have at it.

4) Cut a pilot.  As part of the main series we're doing this year we've designed a spin-off.  The spin off is shot at the same time as the main series so--in the ideal scenario--we'll be able to deliver 208 episodes of TV multiple times for the price of one.  These two series are the first time in my life as a producer that we've created something with anything like an 'evergreen' appeal.  My hope is that the work we're doing this year might pay off over the next five years. Anyway, to get this pilot done I'll probably end up flying out to Vancouver to spend four days locked in a edit suite with one of our editors and we'll just spit it out.  Really looking forward to it.

5) Start 'core building'.  The goal is a gathering at our house every week for the month of August.  This gathering will be to acquaint people with our new church plant.  We're hoping to launch as soon as September 13th.  I'm starting to feel the 'fear' that goes with this kind of impending deadline but I'm just walking my way through it.  There's nothing you can do to make the fear go away, so you just work.

6) Decide which book to write and write it.  I've been toying with writing either an adventure novel or one of those spiritually oriented 'self-help' (I hate the term) books.  The adventure novel is about a boy who gets sucked back in time to the very first Christmas eve where he's caught up in a plot to steal the gifts of the Magii before they can be given to the infant Christ. The self-help book might be called 'Forsaking Neverland' and would be a chronicle of my journey from Pastor to Producer and back to Pastor.  Maybe let me know which you'd like to read first.

7) Organize my taxes, finances, and re-mortgage my house so I can build an extension.  We live in a great neighborhood in a small house.  We have four kids.  We are getting to the point where we could really use a little more space--mostly for entertaining guests and family.  With launching a new church we're going to have people over constantly so our small house is set to become even smaller.  I tend to really hate this kind of 'practical work' 'cause I'm not very good at it and I feel like it takes time away from the really important 'creative' work I have piling up but I realize those could just be the justifications of a procrastinator.

8) Clean my backyard.  We've got our dear friends coming over tomorrow and wifey wants the yard looking good.  I still haven't broken down my work bench from renovating my backyard and I have to repair my lawn mower--another chore I hate and am not particularly gifted at.

9) Study.  I've got a sermon series to prep.  Rather, I've got four sermon series to prep.  The September, October, November, December series for 'THE WELL'.

September:  What is this thing called Church?  Out of Galatians.

October: Who is this man called Jesus?  Out of John.

November: Culture Wars.  Out of 1st Corinthians.

December: Christmastime.  Out of Luke.

10) I've got to raise $500,000.  We've got an opportunity to work with one of Hollywood's top graphic novel companies developing five new properties two of them 'ours' and the other three to be sourced in partnership with other L.A-based production companies.  The company in question has some really exciting strategic alliances happening so we could really jump into a new level with this one.  I've got to work with their VP of development to put together a prospectus that will be ready to go investors by the end of this month.  The idea is to develop five graphic novels with the goal of getting one or two of them set up as feature-film projects. I feel very much 'over my head' here as fundraising is about the hardest thing a producer does but I'm determined to see it through as fundraising is about the only thing you do that makes you deserving of the title 'producer'.

11) We've got a major Canadian producer asking us if we can beat the prices he's paying for his current production slate.  We have to totally breakdown his production management scenario then build one we'd propose for less money.  Spreadsheets upon spreadsheets.  Madness.

12) We've got a major TV special (on the debate between 'Intelligent Design' and 'Evolution') to produce for November delivery.  I have to write the pitch this week and get the first budget done.

So that's my 'to do list' for the next month.

Whadduyou think?

T

more excess...

Okay so the image is flipped 'cause I shot it with my laptop but you still get the idea.  The decorative pillow is monogrammed with the first letter of my last name.  My business partner's had an 's' on his.

The newspaper on the left is the lead daily in Norway--my biz partner's home--and the one on the right is the Jerusalem Post--the lead paper from the town where I grew up.

When you arrive at the hotel they don't send you up to your room, the escort you.  Once you're in the room and they've talked you through the various 'room details' they pull out your complimentary bottle of wine and their signature pomegranate juice then ask you if you'd like a newspaper.

"What ones do you have?" you ask.  "What ones do you want?" they answer.

And my crazy business partner keeps trying to stump them.  

When they can't get an actual copy they print it then bind it for you then deliver it in a canvas bag with a rose affixed to it by a ribbon.

That's excessive.

I was actually embarrassed.  

Goes to show you why I keep mentioning that L.A is its own kind of very twisted little town.

T

at last...

So that's it.  

Day two in Beverly Hills is officially 'wrapped'.  A great moment.  You can see it in my smile.

They spell that...

R. E. L. I. E. F.

Yes, it's that hard.  

And I realize you might be thinking that this kind of work can't be hard but it is.  It's hard just like the work you do is hard.  Just like it is for anyone who has a dream and pursues it only to find out that the path to the 'pot of gold' at the end of the rainbow is fraught with hardship and fear and struggle and required-perseverance.

Anything worth doing is tough.

And it's only at the end of a season of toughing it out that you get to smile like that.  The smile comes from the heart and reaches the eyes--is authentic--because there's been so little smiling up until that moment.

You've gritted your teeth and toughed it out.  You've furrowed your brow in concentration.

The last thing on your mind has been smiling.

And your team's been trying to lift your spirits.  They've been trying to help you and there's been nothing they can do that will actually help.

It's just hard and that's all it is--there's nothing you can do to change it.

So you tough it out and you do your job and, if you make it through to the end, you get to smile.

'Cause the job is done and hopefully it's a job well-done.

Hopefully.

T 

in the belly of the beast...

You know you're in the heart of Hollywood when you ask for the Hotel to launder your clothes, 'cause after a day of 12 interviews you've sweat the life out of them, and they bring 'em back the next morning looking great--of course--with your underwear wrapped up like a present.

Seriously, my gitch are in that box all trussed up with ribbon and a red rose.

Crazy.

This hotel is supposed to end up as North America's ONLY six diamond hotel once they can apply for their certification this November.

It's truly humbling and amazing the lengths they go to to make your stay pleasant.

I'm about to head back downstairs to do nine more interviews today.  I'm starting with Melissa Rivers and my makeup artist told me she can be a handful so here's hoping I can get her to like me, relax, and tell us the truth.

Nothing insightful for this post--I'll try to up the ante tonight--but just thought you might get a kick out of seeing what laundry service looks like in L.A-la land.

Peace,

T

evading hypnosis...

Feel free to totally ignore this post.

Especially if you're addicted to texting.

Have you noticed the people on the street?  Everywhere you look people aren't looking back at you looking at them 'cause they're looking at the little glowing screen in front of them.  

Busy texting.

And I'm totally in-favor of communication and connectivity and community--I believe we have been made to be together so I'm not railing against that or against technology (I spend half my career in show biz after all).

But watching people on the street in New York City and in Los Angeles and downtown Toronto I can't help but feel like the intensity of our texting and constant communicating has ratcheted up lately.

Have you noticed?

And this is the thing that occurred to me.  A friend of mine who's a very successful preacher/pastor/author put it this way;

"You need to make sure you don't end up just working 'in' your Church, you need to work 'on' your Church as well."

His point was that we can easily get sucked into managing the minutiae of running a Church and forget that the goal--with church planting--is to obey God in strategic partnership as Jesus Christ, through the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit, builds His Church through your focused efforts and the efforts of those partnered with you.

Efforts that need to be strategic and tactical.

This is true of your actual life and career as well.

And the thing that's got me thinking about things is the fact that text messaging, or twittering, or even email is--by nature--a short-form medium that restricts our exchanges to small bite-sized bits.  Which means you can send and receive many bits and need to send and receive many bits to get anything across. 

So we end up constantly sending out small bits of information and checking small bits of information that have been sent to us.

And I wonder if we still have the time we need--what with all the bits and bites--to devote ourselves to strategic focus, to really thinking about the big picture of our lives.

What do you want?  Who do you want to be?  How do you intend to get there?  What difference is your life supposed to make?  What's truly most important to you?

These are big questions and my suspicion is that the answer probably won't come in tiny bits. Sure you may come to the truth one bit at a time but if there are too many bits being sent out and received by you each day--and many of them, due to the hit or miss nature of tactics without strategy, aren't necessarily effective or useful in terms of actually building what your life is supposed to be about --then you're going to be occupying 80% of your time with bits that aren't ultimately useful to your strategic trajectory.

See?

Replying to non-useful stuff or creating non-useful stuff might be taking away from the finite amount of time you have each day to actually make strategic forward progress with your life.

I'm just wondering.

Are we working 'in' our life or 'on' it as well as in it?

T

back to it...

In Los Angeles.

(shooting 23 new interviews this week)

And them's the flowers blooming right outside my window. 

Cool right?

I'm just at the Marriot.  We'll move to the swanky hotel where we shoot a little later this week. Just flew in today and will take tomorrow to recover and study then will film Wed/Thurs at ye' high-end Beverly Hills hotel.

The reason for this post however is the flowers.

Beautiful flowers.

I realize the iSight focal length isn't very good and the actual shot turned out kind of 'Monet-ish' but that's not a bad thing.  What got me about it was this random beauty adorning the outside of my simple, humble, kinda' cookie cutter hotel in the city of sprawl.

What that reminded of was the simple truth that in the midst of your cookie cutter life there are sure to be spots of simple beauty also.

And it's worth noting that the flowers aren't tended, they're just growing from the backyard next to us.

That's something that should give you hope.

Beauty just grows.

Yes life is hard.  Yes it feels like we're in a struggle between good/evil, light/dark etc. You feel that push/pull very intensely here in L.A.

But I'm mindful of the fact that the beautiful has won.  The victory is complete--if you believe the stories as I do--and that's why you always find pockets of glory in the midst of the concrete.

'Cause you can't hold beauty back.

No you can't.

T

life is like...

A bowl of cereal.

Life cereal.

It's what we were serving our kids this morning, along with some toast and some scrambled eggs and some orange juice and some sliced apples.  Typically there'd be some yogurt thrown in there but they'd cleaned us out a day or so ago.

And as we stood there putting the finishing touches on each of the plates before taking them outside to our patio I said, "Okay, I'm ready to put the milk in, are you ready?"

'Cause we all know that life cereal gets really soggy if you don't eat it quick.

"Like life..." said the wife.

That'll preach.

See, life cereal is a great cereal.  I loved it as a kid and still love it to this day.  'Course as I've aged I've realized that it's quite sugar-laden and, as a result, we've turned it into a 'treat' cereal with cheerios being their typical cereal choice.  But I still love it.  It's a great cereal.

But it gets soggy real quick.

Right?

You have to get right to it.  If you let it sit for too long all its goodness will mix into an unappetizing mush that invariably ends up left in the bowl then thrown out.

Just like our lives.

(Thanks Niki...great insight)

So many of us are so frozen by fear--of the unknown, of making a mistake, of failure, of the disapproval of our family or peers, of scarcity--that we spend most of our lives just staring at the thing instead of living it.

We've got ideas that we never pursue, dreams that we never work on for anywhere near long enough to make something of, loves we never actualize, kids we don't engage with, jobs we coast through and spouses we take for-granted.

We don't seize the day.  We don't seize the right opportunity.

We don't eat our life.

So, take our cereal experience this morning and use it.  Take a good hard look at your life and decide on one thing you've put off pursuing, or doing, and eat it.

Seriously.

Consume it.  Take it for all it's worth.  Pour your life into it.  Make that dream come true, knowing that even if you fail in the trying you'll be much further ahead than you are today.

'Cause you know it as deep down in your bones as I do.

Life waits for no one.

Don't let yours get soggy.

T

back in the saddle...

So you've heard me reference my preaching by times on this here blog and I posted a couple times in the past month re: my first trip back to it after three and a half years.

The Church where I preached has now posted the sermon so you can either watch it or listen to it...

Here.

T

comforting words...

So I'm working on a sermon that I'll preach at my old Church this coming Sunday.

I'm preaching on the famous passage where Jesus meets the Samaritan woman at the well one dusty afternoon.

It's mere serendipity that I also happen to be planting a new church to be called 'THE WELL' and that I feel as broken in spirit as that unhappy woman drawing water in the heat of the day.

Serendipity...

I'm reading stuff like:

"...whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.  The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life..."  (JN 4:14 ESV)

And I'm feeling it.  Comfort.  Such deep comfort.

("AND WATER WILL SPRING UP IN DRY HEARTS AND HOPE WILL BREAK FORTH IN BROKEN SPIRITS!"  wait for it, this Sunday kids...)

Don't you need it?

Man.

Just finished watching the MJ memorial and it was generally so depressing.  I always find people's expressions of grief so interesting.  I find it so telling the ways in which they seek comfort and attempt to rediscover some connection to God in the midst of their sorrow.  And because it is--after all--Hollywood and entertainment type folk we're talking about here (and they're just a mirror of we, the makers of popular culture anyway so this applicable to all of us) these are the type of people for whom syncretism (the blending of diverse belief systems or faiths) is normative.

And nothing kills the effectiveness of a syncretistic lifestyle or outlook like an objective truth.

"Daddy's dead.  Now what?"

And you can either make answer or you can't.

And that's tough isn't it?

And that's moving.

And that's why I'm doing what I'm doing with my life.  Trying to point to that answer.  Trying to live (falteringly) in such a way so as to demonstrate that answer and lean on that answer and love that answer and communicate and proclaim that answer every chance I get.

'Cause it's very clear that people need an answer.

And it's also very clear that not many people are finding what they need just yet.

Back at it.

T

a post to remember...

Oh boy.

(that's what I looked like last time I was a pastor)

My heart feels like it's going to leap out of my chest and my throat is constricted like it gets before I start sobbing or step out on stage in front of a couple thousand people.

Basically, I'm freaking out.

Why?

Well, I just went and officially put the wheels in motion.

I started a facebook page for our new Church Plant.

That's right.

(that's me leaping off the proverbial cliff...)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

And part of me's thinking, "Well it's about time.  What, were you creating sermon series notes and applying to the school board for that theater and the government for the charity number and recruiting worship leaders and starting to talk to people casually about it and registering the website for fun?"

Well, no.

But, it seems a whole other thing to put it 'out there' on facebook.  A whole other thing.

My blood pressure is spiking.

See, I know what I've just gotten myself into.  I mean, I don't 'know' all the little details pertaining to what this next stage of our lives is going to look like but I do know some things...

I know this is going to be lots of hard work.

I know I'm going to keep producing as the doors open for me to continue doing so.

I know the location will be hard to lock.

I know the first eight Sunday's will be so hard I'll wonder why we did this again.

I know we'll be smaller than I'd hoped for some time.

I know that six months in the freaks will start showing up.

I know that a year in some of the people who were there at the beginning will start hating me.

I know that we'll stress the finances for at least three years and probably forever.

I know that people are going to love worshipping.

I know that--so long as I do my part--the preaching will be refreshing and inspiring.

I know that I'll lose some TV and Film opportunities because of this.

I know that I'll gain some TV and Film opportunities because of this.

I know that my kids will love it.

I know that set up and tear down is going to SUCK for the first while.

I know that young people will start coming.

I know that people's lives will start changing.

Including mine.

"THE WELL: a burlington church".

Coming September 13, 2009.

(www.wellchurch.ca)

Details to follow--or heck--you can visit us on facebook.

Sheesh and God help me!

T

you never know who's listening...

That's me in the corner reading, a million years ago.

That's the first annual 'retreat' we did for our brand new Church Plant--probably back in late 2001.

I was preparing a morning devotion and reading some 'love letters' from our people.  The letters weren't for me, they were from them to the Church as a whole.  We'd ask them to write one when they felt ready to make our Church 'their' Church.  The letters would say why they're 'in' and what that was going to 'mean' for them.

We got them to do it to help them make a tangible decision and so that we could take their decision seriously and so that--if it ever came to it--I could sit across the table from them, slide them their letter and tell 'em to either abide in what they'd said and with us or take it and leave.

Anyway, like I said, a million years ago.

As I think back over the things we did in planting that Church I can't help but fixate on all the things we did wrong, the many details we left undone and the many things we sweated over that we should have let slide.

So many mistakes.

Part of it had to do with being young.  I think I was 26 when we planted the Church.  What do you know when you're twenty six?  I mean, you know some things, but not enough things.  You have a 'sense' of what's right but you probably haven't suffered anywhere near enough to be wise.

I met with one of my mentors last week--in fact I met with two of 'em--and they both said basically the same thing, regarding their 'take' on who I am today vs who I was nigh on ten years ago.

"Beware of the man who doesn't limp..."

That's what they said.

Then...

"Now, you limp..."

I limp.

Damn right I limp.

Lemme' count the ways.

(or let's not count 'em but you think about yours and I'll think about mine)

What's really funny about life is that as you live and do what you've been called to do--with all your weaknesses and shortcomings--you find that, over time, you end up making an impact on the people around you.

See, you didn't really know it all, even though you thought you did, but neither did they.

And that's got me thinking about the work I'm doing today as a producer and preacher.  I'm going back to that first Church of ours this Sunday.  I'll be preaching.  It'll be quite the trip to step back in time to some degree and what's really interesting about it is the fact that I'm a totally different guy in some ways then I was the last time I spoke there but in other ways I'm totally the same guy.

Some things change and some things don't.

I still read, a lot.  I still own that same sweatshirt you see in the shot.  I still own the Bible that's sitting on my lap although I've switched to a new one for this next stage as a preacher.  I still know many of the people in that shot, I'm still friends with the guy who took it.  I still have that box you see on the ground and the love letters are still in it.

The lives that were changed are still changing.

So here's the point.

No matter how listless and irregular you feel, no matter how down, no matter how lost or overwhelmed you feel you need to keep doing what you do.

Because no matter how good or great or bad or lousy or insignificant it feels at the time, so long as your work comes from the heart in authenticity and your concern is the life and welfare of others, you will be making impact.

And, like that picture, the impact lasts.

And lasts.

And lasts.

T

expectations management...

Sometimes it feels weird mining your life and experience for moments to blog about.  I mean, if you're trying to write a blog that's of some 'use' to your readers that is.

It's not all about me--'cause it's ultimately for you--but it is all about me in a way 'cause it comes only out of my life experience.

So what I'm about to write is slightly embarrassing and I get it and I know it's strange to talk about yourself like this and I realize that some of you will mock me for it but I hope--even in the midst of my cringing--that some few of you might take something good from this.

Making all the mocking worthwhile.

So, without further ado...

My wife made the cake and cupcakes you see above.  

I iced them.

And here's the story.  We were at our friend's place for our second annual 'Canada Day' bbq--I posted about it last year in fact--and Niki asked me if I'd ice the cake and cupcakes 'cause she hadn't had a chance before we left.

No problem, I'll ice 'em.

So I get to it.  And I just do what I always do.  I try to make 'em as nice as possible given my limited talents and the resources on hand.

When I finished I heard three things:

1) They look SO nice!

2) I can't believe you were icing those for AN HOUR!

3) Typical Todd.

And this is a humbling lesson to me--if for no other reason that I know how precarious positivity can be--in what it takes to make a good impression on people over the long term.

Here's what hit me and what might prove useful to you.

You build your reputation over time and with every little thing that you do.

How you ice a cake preaches.  How you treat a PA speaks to how you'll treat your starlet.  

Everything preaches.

And with people who are somewhat outside of the norm in terms of generating results that have long-term impact it's my bet that you'll find that those people ice a cake just as carefully as they write a sermon or edit a television special.

It's attention to detail and it's caring about the end-result and it's having a sense of love for your audience.

I wanted my friends to love the cake.  Not 'cause I wanted their props, I just wanted them to feel like I cared enough to make 'em something beautiful.

And I did genuinely care.  And that scares me 'cause that means I have to have a lot more caring in my life.  I've got to care about so much and that caring has got to drive me to work very hard for a very long time.

Plus, if you ever take your foot off the gas you don't get to coast for long.

Sobering.

And motivating.

So on that note--for me and for you--I say...

Back to work.

T