how big do you want to be?

The question of scale is a big one.

It's also a question that's applicable to both aspects of my career and possibly relevant in your life and work as well.

In fact, as I think about it writing this, it seems to me that the question of scale is one that's relevant to almost everything we do.

How big a house do you want?  How many friends do you want to have?  How much money do you want to have to manage?  How much debt are you willing to carry?  How often will you see your extended family?  How many vacations a year?  How much wine will you consume in a month or a night?  How many dishes do you need?  

How big is too big.

VERY relevant to making movies and building Churches.

A key problem with movies is trying to fit the right movie into the wrong scale.  A prime example is M. Night Shyamalan's 'LADY IN THE WATER'.  If you've read the biography done on him while he was prepping and shooting LITW you know what I'm about to hit on.  If--like most of you I'm sure--you haven't read the book then this might speak to you a bit.

Night said what he really wanted to do was make a ten million dollar 'art film'.  And it seems clear to me that LITW is that, an art film.

Problem is Night spent his typical $60,000,000 on production and WB spent their typical $70,000,000 on marketing it.  That's $130,000,000 spent and the film did nowhere well enough to call that a good investment.  If he'd done the film for $10,000,000 and WB had marketed it for $40,000,000 it probably still would have hit the numbers it hit except, at that level, it would have been a rip-roaring success.

And it seems, from the reading, that Night did the film with all his typical 'perks' including lavish sets and big money for him and his key crew and that he spared no expense with his crew even down to the kind of food they ate.

That's no way to save money.

Chris Doyle, his Director of Photography, was driven from NYC to Philly and back every single friggin' day.  The gas alone on that would have been a frivolous expenditure on an art film.

Again, par for the course if he's making 'SIGNS' but LITW needed to be another animal.

And I'm an M. Night fan (though THE HAPPENING was really quite the stumble if you ask me...) so I'm not trying to criticize him or pretend that I understand his motives.  I'm just saying that I have learned from reading about his process that it's very important to know the size your project wants to be and work within that framework.

Same thing with Churches.

Seems that many guys planting or leading Churches these days are fixated on either the Mega-Church model or the multi-site model.  Both models have their merits and I'm no expert either way.  My thought is simply that you'd better be really sure your Church (and the people in it) *want* to be a Mega-Church or a Multi-Site Church.

'Cause some Churches *want* to be 220 vibrant, loving, living people.

And If you try to shoe-horn that kind of Church into a Mega-Church package or try to force what is essentially a 'country church' into an urban or even suburban model you might find yourself working uphill.

And I'm not looking to criticize you I'm just concerned that you might be putting all this effort into doing something that's not necessarily in-sync with reality.  

Pretty sure you don't want to waste your life or your efforts, right?

So, the key is to take a good and honest look at the things we're working on and try our best to figure out what size they're wanting to be.

I met with a guy today and we were talking about Church sizes and I said, "Look, the thing with a 1,000 person Church is that it's a thousand people loving Jesus and that's great.  But there's no reason you couldn't have 5 two hundred person Churches in the same area doing the same effective work."

Same deal with your movies or your TV shows or the other things you're doing with your life. A film is no more poignant or impacting for screening on 10,000 screens as opposed to at home with one man and his wife.  As a filmmaker you're looking to connect to as many people as possible but to truly connect with each one. How you do that needs to suit your picture and your picture needs to suit how you do that.

With preaching in a Church you're looking to impact people one life at a time and through them the lives around them.

One heart will receive the truth no differently sitting among three thousand than it will sitting with 299 others or with 30 friends.

But it's a problem if your imagined or dreamed-of size doesn't match your gifting or the resources you happen to have on-hand.

You can't make 'TRANSFORMERS' with less than $200,000,000.

You can't start with 10,000 people at your Church.

So, decide what you *have* to do and the best way you can start doing it today and start doing it.  Don't impose a size structure on yourself before it's necessary and keep your eyes open to see what kind of natural 'pocket' your thing wants to sit down into.

'Cause you might make much more impact with a couple of art house screenings or preaching to a room of 30 around a table or you might be made for the multi-plex or the Mega-Church but the key is in the knowing.

Size (big and small) matters.

T

catharsis...

That's what I looked like after I finished preaching yesterday.

Well, kinda.

It was my first time back at it in three and a half years and it went well.  In fact, during the second service (I had to preach it twice in the same morning--pretty typical for many Churches) I kind of lost my mind.

Just started weeping.

It wasn't that I was totally going crazy but that the text and content really got to me.  

Watching the audience I could see many in the rows close to me also starting to weep at various points which encouraged me that if I was falling prey to hysteria it was a least a group phenomenon.

Anyway, I finished and had to walk outside.

Where I promptly lost my marbles.

I mean, total breakdown.

Weeping.  Sobbing.  Snotting.  Really intense stuff.

I've had that kind of experience only a very few times in my life and have learned from those experiences to learn from experience.

Meaning--when you respond with deep (and I mean authentically, not trumped up, genuine heart-felt grief/empathy/relief) emotion to a situation, series of events or culmination of a season in your life, you should pay attention.

I've found that that kind of strong, honest, reaction is rare enough that you ought to sit up and take notice and find a way to make whatever changes are necessary in your life in order to align your day to day practice and reality with the life-themes and/or sense of calling that are at play in your reaction.

I'm not sure if they recorded the sermon, but if they did I'll post a link here so you can judge for yourself (!) as to whether or not I have, in fact, lost my marbles.

T

revenge of the daddy...

Saw it last night.

Very cool.  Enjoyed it along with a packed house that clapped at the end and at two other points during the film.  When was the last time you were in a movie and the people spontaneously started clapping?

When was the last time that happened in Church when you were preaching?

Seems a good litmus test no?

Only problem with the movie is that my son is supposed to go see it today as part of a birthday party for his friend who's turning 8.

Eight.

Did you see 'Revenge of the Fallen'?  

Not for eight year olds.  

I went to see it last night to 'vet' it in advance of either letting my son go or telling him he couldn't.  Sitting there as the college girl mounted Shia while the camera pushed in up her thong-split ass I realized that I was going to have to be 'that Dad' and tell my son he couldn't go.

Then I realized, "Well, I don't have to be THAT Dad, I can be me."

And I knew that--beyond my son's disappointment--the real issue was going to be that the parents of my son's friend were going to think we're religious for not letting Jordan go.  

I hate that.

'Cause the last thing we're trying to be is religious folk.  In fact, much of our life and my work have been oriented to position us in such a way that we're the opposite of what you'd think when you think 'religious folk'.

We're much more 'blue state' than 'red state' if it comes to that.

My Dad always said you should get more and more liberal as you age, and I think he's right.

So I was feeling torn but I knew what the right and good thing was to do.  So this morning I walked downstairs and my kids looked at me right away.  They'd been waiting to see me so that I could render my verdict.  I sat down.  "You know kids, I'm sorry to say it, but the movie is just too mature for you."

My eldest started crying.

So I told him to come sit on me and I soothed him and explained a bit more but a few minutes later--when it was shower time for mommy and I upstairs--Jordan (said eldest) came and sat on the toilet still tormented about not being able to go.  He sighed then asked for details as to why he couldn't go.

(moment of truth)

So I told him about the language--not that the words themselves were bad but the way in which they were used was--and the violence and the drinking and the gogo dancing and the too-high maturity level.

It still wasn't enough for him.  

"What do you mean by 'too mature' Daddy?"

So I told him the truth.

"You know Jordan, there are some scenes with some sexual content where boys and girls are doing things that only husbands and wives should be doing..."

(whoops, there go my blue state readers....)

He stood right up.  "Okay, I'll take your word for it."

And that was that.

Pretty healthy stuff if you ask me.  His Mom and Dad are showering together while talking to each other and to him about healthy boundaries, and he totally buys it.

Love that.

Love him.

That's why he's got to wait to see a movie I loved.

T

a passage...

Cool moment just now.

Just finished writing my first sermon 'back at it' after a three and a half year hiatus.

It clocks in at 15 pages which makes me a bit nervous as I'm speaking as a guest at another Church and they try to stay at a half-hour in terms of the length of sermon.

I've got no intro written, I'll just get right to it and it's typically all the embellishments and detours you take along the way (which can be really fun and sometimes helpful) that tend to stretch the time so here's hoping I'll be alright.

What was significant about this process was that I haven't forgotten how to do it.  I mean, three and a half years is a long time not to do a 'thing'.  I worried that I might have 'lost it'.

But it just came back, like riding a bike.

I was starting to cry near the end.

My hope in sharing this with you is to encourage you to maybe consider picking that 'thing' back up in your life that you've been ignoring for a while.

You might be a screenwriter who hasn't written a script in a long time or a preacher who's stopped doing his best work.  You might be a creative person who hasn't painted or written a song in a dog's age or maybe you just haven't played soccer with you kid in a while and you don't know why.

Maybe you can't remember the last time you told her you love her.

Or Him.

Maybe you should get back up on that bike.

With love and respect.

T

it's the simple things...

Like a Heineken and a Muskoka/Adirondack chair on your front patio at dusk in June.

Those are the things you live for, right?

Those quiet moments where you feel at peace.

We went to our favorite lakeside burger joint for dinner and ice cream followed by a walk to the lighthouse and some play at the park while Daddy looked at the sailboats tonight.

And there was this guy in line at the burger joint who was so stressed and upset he was making the rest of us lose our joy.  Snapping at his kids, arguing with the staff.  A real pill.  And I was thinking to myself, "That guy's miserable.  Note to self, never end up like him so help me..."

Then it comes time for ice cream.  

The same staff who were being harassed by the dude are serving his family and mine.  Our cones end up TWICE the size of the cones they made for him.

Was it because he was nasty and I was nice?

Dunno.

But it made me think.   Made me remind myself to stay simple and thankful no matter how hard life gets or how complicated.

Made me confess to myself that it's never anyone else's fault.

Made me remember to mention it to you as I sat on my front porch drinking a beer while the sun sets and my wife gets the baby to sleep.

Reminded me it's the simple things.

T

back to it...

So here we go.

The start of a 'next chapter' today.

I'm sitting down today (with a brand new study Bible) to start preparing my first sermon in three and a half years.  I've said it before, but I really can't believe that it's been this long.  Last night, in the middle of it, I was pondering how such a long time could have passed.

I 'retired' from my last Church (one I'd planted together with a friend and our wives) January 2006.  The rest of 2006 right through 'till March 2007 was consumed with directing my first movie.  It's reasonable to expect that my focus would have been totally in 'movie-land' during that time.

Then, from March-December 2007 we  basically reaped the whirlwind.  We spent that entire span in what I like to call an 'income free zone' where we were waiting to see what would happen with our lives.  During that time we got a final 'no' to a Church plant we'd been exploring in Miami and also got a firm 'no' on an opportunity that had surfaced (which we'd pursued for four months) to go be a 'preaching pastor' at a large Church in downtown Chicago. The summer of 2007 was one of the darkest times I remember ever living through.  Every time we'd buy groceries it'd be because we'd transferred some of our home equity into our bank account to do so.  I'll spare your further details but, needless to say, it was tough.

Then, December 17th we got the contract signed for two new TV series.  We'd been working on trying to close that deal since October 2006 so to finally have it close was quite the relief.  I should say that the deal closed the same day we officially ran out of money which goes to show you that the old adage might be ture, "God is seldom early, but never late..."

Sheesh.

So, after that miraculous December we embarked on one of the craziest years in memory, a year where I produced 429 half-hours of television, flew 104,000 miles, and spent ten or so days out of every thirty away from my wife and kids.

Then, in November 2008 our contract wasn't renewed as promised so we were plunged into another six months of uncertainty. 

Then, in May 2009, we got our next contract signed and I shot a special that changed my life.

That special was the 'Jesus Christ' special with Tom Harpur.  The special ran over Easter and got very high ratings for the network here in Canada.  

It also renewed my faith.

A faith that had been battered (to say the least) in the span of time outlined above.  What it came down to for me was a realization that the person and claims of Jesus are either true or false, either life-changing or foolish, either THE truth on which you should hang a life or folly for which you shouldn't waste one.

I was led to my decision over that month of May.

It was a real time of awakening and repentance.  A time of reevaluation and introspection.  A time of calling.

See, when I planted our first independent Church, the 'call' to do so was a shared one.  My friend and I had been feeling called to 'do' Church for our peers since the early days of 1994. We'd tried in two different contexts between 1995 and 1999.  Both contexts had flourished in their own way but ultimately failed to yield the result we felt called to be working towards. So 'Freedomize Toronto' was an outworking of that shared dream and calling.

So when my friend left our Church to head south I was left devastated and call-less.  Said devastation has since been healed and all's well on that front but I'd never had an experience of an 'individual call' to plant a Church.  With the work done pursuing the Church plant in Miami--looking back I can now say--I was just acting on reflex, doing what I 'knew' how to do because I didn't have anything else to do or know how to act any differently.  At the time I felt I was doing what was right and good but looking back I can see I was lost.

It took these past three and half years and all the lessons learned to bring me to the point where I felt--truly and deeply and in a way that will sustain me through the 'sure-to-be-tough' years ahead--a personal call to plant THE WELL.

It's been a totally wild ride.

I was telling Niki (my wife--in case you're visiting for the first time today) that I feel very different this time 'round than I did when I was 25.  That's right, it was ten years ago that we started doing the initial work to get our first indie Church off the ground.

Ten years.

A full decade.

Mind blowing.

As I look back on that guy from ten years ago, I still like him.  I admire his passion and drive.  I like his optimism and focus.  I can see that his work-ethic needs some work and that he's less humble than he's going to be after he gets beat up over the next decade.  

I can see that being married is going to change him and having kids is going to destroy him and re-make him into something totally different.  I can see that his heart's in the right place but that he's a bit more brash than would best suit what he's trying to do.  I can tell that he's hurting and know that that's never going to change or stop.

I can tell he's torn between two worlds.  I still wonder how that's going to work our for him.

Looking at that guy today I feel like he's finally stuck his flag in the ground and--interestingly--it seems (at least in the near term) that things are not closing down for him as a result but opening up in very unexpected way.

Proving again that death to self is the beginning not the end.

Demonstrating again that trusting Jesus is foolish AND wise.

What a wild and woolly ride.

Something like your life, no?

My hopes for peace in it for you.

For You.

T

daddy...

Short and sweet today.

I'm a Dad.  Four times over.  There they are, chillin' in our newly minted hot tub.

I changed the water and washed it down and re-filled it for the first time today.  Told the wife that I feel very 'grown-up'.  Funny to experience the whole 'the more you have the more work you'll do...' thing first-hand.  It's going to be a whole other THING keeping that tub in tip top shape.

They say you should empty it every six weeks and re-fill it unless you have a higher 'bather load' than usual.

With my four kids, and their assorted friends added to the fact that wifey and I (and our friends) really like the thing we definitely qualify for the every four weeks thing.

The point is...

Having kids makes your life harder.  There's more to do, more to sweat, more to stress about, more to clean, more to care about, more noise, more mess, more mayhem, more crying, and more poop than you'll ever have if it's just you and your wife.

But you'll have less fun, less joy, less love, less wisdom, less perseverance, less endurance, less selflessness, less laughter, less dancing, less ice cream, less kissing, less squeezing, less hi-jinks and much less opportunity to see the glorious beauty in all the little things if you never have 'em.

So, this is my advertisement for babies.

We started young.  We had 'em close together.  We kept going 'till the wife KNEW she'd had enough.

It's been the greatest and hardest and most glorious thing we've ever done.

I believe I'm turning into much more of a man and an artist and a preacher and a producer and a husband because of them.

If you're on the fence I suggest you hop it brother.

Knock that lady up.

T

two twenty five...

Pizza and Movie Night last night.

Finally watched "THE GOONIES" with our kids.  They loved it.

One of the 'fun' things I got to do last year was interview 'Mouth'.  You can check out my conversation with him--if you like--here.

What struck me about watching the flick with my kids was 1) how it still totally stands up today.  Hooked 'em, held 'em, entranced 'em.  Totally worked for my kids like it did for me so many years ago.  That's when you know you've done good work.  And the other thing that struck me was  2) the language.

You don't really notice the 'rough' language in a film until you watch it with your kids.  And lemme' just say we didn't notice it 'cause we were tense about it.  We noticed it because our eldest son (9) noticed it and was acting like he was supposed to be tense about it and the reason I'm writing about it is 'cause he didn't notice it 'cause we're particularly tense about language--we always tell them words are just words, it's the condition of the heart and how and why you use a word that really counts--but because he's got some friends who've been raised to be tense about it.

Now let me just say, I don't know their parents THAT well, but from the little interaction I have had with them they have struck me as certainly more 'religiously oriented' than we are. And from listening to their kids--who spend a lot of time at our house--you can tell that using the 'right' words and not using the 'wrong' words is emphasized in their home.

This is a problem.

See, I'm trying to raise my kids as non-religiously as possible.  You might find that funny considering that I spend much of my life preaching and engaged in what could be called 'Church work'.  Thing is my sense of the faith that dominates my life is that it's the opposite of religion. One of the biggest problems with faith is religion.  Say you're a 'preacher' and everyone reacts strongly--most of the time it's a negative reaction.  Say you're a 'producer' and everyone's intrigued.

Why?

'Cause people hate religion and for good reason.

I hate religion.

Religion teaches that words are bad.  I believe words are just words.

Religion teaches that appearance and conduct matter more than almost anything else.  I believe it's the condition of the heart from which everything else flows and you can't change your heart by yourself it has to be changed for you.

Anyway, I was strongly reminded last night to keep at it, to keep raising my kids to know that shit is just another word for poop.

Poop.

Now that's a good word.

T

sleepless...

My wife hates this picture.

She doesn't usually read my blog--I think she's kind of embarrassed by it, private person that she is--but if today's an exception, I'm sorry babe I think it's kinda' cool.

'Course you might be thinking I look like a stupid version of Avril Lavigne but I'm betting you're wondering about the mouthpiece sticking out of the right (left) side of my mouth.

"Why is he chewing on a mouthpiece?"

Well, building is tough.  I've had to exert myself so much that my forearms literally 'kill' just sitting here typing this.  Stay with me.  I know you're not getting it yet.  See, I have had some 'work' done on my teeth.  I call them my 'Harley' 'cause they cost quite a bit.  I got veneers done on my front six teeth because, over the years, I had ground them down while sleeping.

"No problem, so you have smaller teeth..." you say, which would be true except that I'm a TV guy and that means I often am on TV and the problem with being on TV with small teeth and an upper lip that overhangs is that--when the lighting hits you--your lip casts a shadow over your small teeth making you look toothless which isn't exactly the best way to make a great impression on your viewing audience.

It was my dentist who started it all.  He'd seen me on TV and exclaimed, "You HAVE to let me do something about your teeth!"

I hadn't really ever thought about it THAT much 'till then (I mean I knew I used to have good teeth and that--somewhere around 23 or so that had started changing and I didn't feel exactly 'great' about it) but, since then, I've certainly been aware of it. Remember how 'Extreme Makeover Home Edition' was a spin-off of the original 'Extreme Makeover' where these people (mostly women) would get their lives (supposedly) turned around by having all kinds of 'work' done?  They'd always talk about how their 'self-esteem' had improved etc. etc.

I always thought they were overdoing it.

Then I had my 'work' done.

And it made a difference.

Anyway, right after I got them done (last summer) I was at my brother's family's cottage doing some super-intense windsurfing and I was straining so much I popped one of the veneers right off.  Fortunately I was able to save it and my dentist re-attached it for free.  Since then I've popped three others off, one of them twice.  That's FIVE re-attachments in less than a year.

Needless to say I'm wishing my 'Harley' had come with a warranty.

So that's why I've been renovating with a mouthpiece in.

In fact, I have it in right now.

Why?  Well it's 4:03am right now and I've been up since 2:45am.  Why?  Well, I had a really bad dream that I haven't been able to shake and, with me, if I get truly woken up in the middle of the night my imagination and thought-life often get the better of me 'causing me to be up for a couple hours.  I'm going to suffer tomorrow.

(some might say I'm suffering now)

The reason I have my mouthguard in is because I sleep with it in--back to the grinding thing--and when I wake up I typically keep it in as I've gotten quite used to having it around.

Here's the point.

You can't fix yourself.

If I had my normal, 'small', less-than-perfectly-attractive teeth I'd never have to have this crazy mouthguard on me.  I wouldn't worry about it when I travel and wouldn't ever pop my veneers off because I'd forgotten it.  

If I had my normal, God-given, teeth I would look less-good on television.

Which, in the long-term, is the greater 'cross to bear'?

Point is, there's never going to be a perfect situation.  Having been up in the middle of the night for going on an hour and a half now I've been doing some thinking.  Typical for middle of the night musing most of my thinking has been sad type thinking.  I've been remembering moments with friends (and former friends) where I handled things poorly.  I've been wishing I could go back.  I've been remembering times where I was treated badly by people in my life.  I'm wishing I could erase the hurt.  I'm recalling disappointment and disillusionment and despair.  I'm feeling like life is hard.

That's why so many movies are set at night.

That's why so many sermons speak of the dark being banished by the light.

I find that in moments like these I just have to surrender to this process of living, and grieving and hoping 'cause there's no such thing as a perfect life and there's no way I know to make pain or sorrow stop.

I do know (like the black preacher) that the morning's going to come and that--despite my fatigue--I'll feel better in the light.  I do know that night (here in the shadowlands) won't last forever and that one day I'll awaken in His likeness.

I'm mindful just now of the fact that I need to communicate all this very honestly and clearly when I speak and when I write and when I produce.

Yes, life is dark.  Yes pain is real.  And yet, hope exists.  

T

yes I know...

A lot of 'building' posts lately.

I could be because I'm building...

More than one thing in fact.

(since I'm up at 5:23am--and have been up since 4:00am--I might as well be more transparent than usual)

I'm trying to build a relationship with God.  I realize you're not supposed to say that you 'build' anything when it comes to God.  I get that it's His initiation our response.  My theology is winsomely reformed but I do feel like I've ratcheted up my vain attempts at grasping His hand as it holds resolutely to mine and, like I feel (as father) when my baby girl wraps her arms and legs around me and squeezes when I'm holding her, it's my hope that the Lord is smiling some at my weak grasping.

(listening to a wonderful album right now)

I'm trying to build a relationship with my wife.  We've been married 12+ years and are still going strong.  Quite a few marriages around us--contemporaries of ours--are currently dissolving and that, if nothing else, has caused us to re-examine our life and be thankful for the joy we have together.  Certainly marriage takes work, but we've always worked at it and as a result (and largely due to God's kindness to us) we're doing fine.  I have noticed a tendency in me lately to be a bit more snippy with her than I should.  Note made.  Apology to follow later today.

I'm trying to build a family.  My kids both drive me crazy and make me nuts I love them so much.  It's like a tsunami came to live in my life permanently.  It would take more words than I'm currently willing to write to describe the messes they make and the dances they dance and the topics they discuss and the frustrations they express and the fights they get into and the disobediences they undertake and the kisses they give each day.  Suffice it to say they're glorious and 'glory' means 'heavy' and that's a right description of what it's like trying to live with, and lead, them.

I'm trying to build a career.  This is one of the toughest aspects of my life these days.  Looks like I'll be heading back into bi-vocationalism after a brief (three year plus--so maybe not so brief--sheesh has it been that long?) detour into living my life as 'just' a TV and film producer. Needless to say the journey back to embracing what it means to plant and pastor a Church has not been one casually undertaken.  I could say so much about it I'm thinking of writing a book. Problem is, I don't know whether to write that book first or this really fun adventure story I've been toying with for years.  I think the former is the more immediate and therefore might prove the most presently fruitful.  Anyway, it's enough to say that I've slowly, carefully, hopefully-humbly taken enough steps now that it's inevitable.  I've talked about the principle here before.  

You keep putting one foot in front of the other long enough and sooner or later you've walked off a cliff.

(and since I'm jumping anyway)

The Church will be called 'THE WELL'.  It'll launch (Lord willing--cause with these things you truly never know exact dates 'till a couple weeks out) the second week of September (the 13th) but I think we'll start meeting in the space to pray and dream the last Sunday of August then do a 'run through' the first Sunday of September (the 6th).  My hope is to locate our services in the heart of downtown Burlington (my home town).  I've locked a worship leader for the first four months.  He's my 'pseudo-godfather'.  A real musical genius (think James Taylor) and a man who knows a thing or two about suffering therefore knows the value of worship.  I've also got another genius friend of mine willing to help with the 'look feel' of the services and of the materials we'll use to help people know what we're up to.  We're also going to put together some simple promo stuff.  You can see his work here, and here.  I've also mapped out the sermon series for the first year.  I've never preached in series before but I feel strongly that this next 'season' should be oriented that way.  I'll be doing my best to connect the theme of each series to a key theme that's 'on the radar' in pop-culture each month while keeping the 'meat' of each series (and each sermon) firmly rooted in an exegetical study of portions of a book of the Bible.  

First series will be 'What IS Church' rooted in Galatians and connected to the whole 'Back to life (school) Back to Reality' ethic that drives our Septembers.

T'will be interesting to see how it goes.

If you're someone who likes the whole 'Church Planting' thing you'll enjoy this blog for the next while.  If you're exclusively a TV or movie person just be aware that my posts will reflect this reclaimed bi-vocationalism which will re-shape 'supernatural film school' a little in contrast to what it's been since I started 'cause I started the blog after retiring from my first Church plant--and probably because I'd retired from my first Church plant.

Hope that's cool with you.  If not--and you'll be leaving shortly--I'm glad to have spent some time with you and hope that my reflections on my journey have been useful to you in some way. I'd love for you to stick around and promise to not turn into something stupid and religious. The whole reason I do both preaching and producing is 'cause I think stupid religion and stupid religious folk (like I'd be were it not for God's kindness, a 'wordly'--in the best sense--wife and lots of suffering) are the last thing we need more of in Church or in entertainment.

(plus I'm still producing up to 208 episodes of TV this year, have a new drama series in development with the people who created this, am trying to executive produce a graphic novel based on a script I hope to produce as a film sometime in the next century, and I might have some 'one on one time' [as an INTERVIEWER, relax...] booked with this girl next month that I figure you're going to want to hear about...)

But you're going to do what you're going to do.

And I have a shed to build.

T

an honest day's work...

I've got a friend who's hit it big.  

We started out pursuing our 'dreams' about the same time.  We've stayed friends throughout the journey.  He's now a millionaire.

I'm not.

Yet.

(maybe ever, who knows?)

But the point that struck me when thinking about him today was what he said the last time we got together.  He was talking about his journey and about how it's become a little hard for him to keep his life in perspective given that his bank account allows him to basically do whatever he wants whenever he wants.

We talked on that a bit (a pretty interesting problem to have) and he landed on this:

"Well, I remember when I started out, when things looked so impossible--like I'd never get anywhere.  The litmus test I used then was that I'd just go out and do an honest day's work. That's it.  I figured that if I did that--truly and honestly--then whatever came of it came of it and I wasn't going to stress about the rest.  These days I often go back to those days, reminding myself to just show up and do an honest day's work."

Inspiring stuff.  It's no wonder he's a success.

And his 'word' on that has helped me as I've devoted the last 14 days to doing my job as a producer/preacher while employing myself as a 'contractor' to get my backyard into somewhat decent shape in time for the summer.

Today the foundation and base for the shed (a huge one which will be great for our many kids and their various and sundry toys/bikes etc...) went in and when I was finishing up I looked at the light and my drill and thought, "Gee' I should grab a shot of that."

Hence the shot to start this post.

I called it "Day's End" in my iPhoto.  The end of a day of hard labor.  The end of a day of figuring things out and working carefully and slowly.  The end of a day of devoting myself to making a difference (in my backyard).  The end of an honest day's work.

What hit me is that if I (or you) take the above paragraph and apply it to my (or your) normal work in the coming weeks as I (we) work hard--to finish the current 104 TV shows we're producing/write a pilot for a new dramatic series we have in development/hustle my butt off to try and raise 80K for a graphic novel adaptation we're trying to put together/get ready to plant my second fully independent Church this fall/start a novelization I've been putting off for too long--I might find myself finding some of the success that my friend has found.

I'm not saying I'll replicate anything he's done--because (as Aslan says) this story is not my friend's story, it's my story and we're never told anyone else's story--but I'm hoping that some of the dignity, humility and workmanlike ethic he carries around on him and in him might find a home in me.

Here's hopin'.

T

pastor Seacrest...

(this post is NOT meant in any way to slam Seacrest the man himself but...)

Would you take relationship advice from an entertainer?

Really?

'Cause that's what I heard happening twice this past week on the radio during an 'On Air with Ryan Seacrest' broadcast.  A lady called in looking for advice.  See, she'd been dating this guy for six months, things were progressing nicely (never mind what 'progressing' means...) they were falling 'in love' (never mind that that notion is more suitable for a 14 year old than for a 34 year old...) and she thought the relationship was moving towards marriage, kids and 'everything she'd ever wanted...' (never mind that no human relationship in and of itself will make you happy...) 

Problem was the guy she's seeing has kids.  Two of 'em.  And they're 'bratty'.

So the lady turns to Ryan Seacrest for advice.

A guy who--by his own admission--is lousy at relationships.  A guy who--by his own admission--sleeps with his blackberry.  A guy who--by his own admission--is too 'busy' for love.

And he's going to give you truth that transforms?

(again, not slamming Ryan Seacrest the man)

What got to me and precipitated this blog was the state our society would appear to have come to that we have people looking to their entertainers for hope, truth, life, light, meaning, purpose and satisfaction.

And of course Seacrest is going along with it, talking to the woman, sincerely (seemingly) engaging her in conversation working (it would appear) to try and help her find a working solution.

False.

'Cause we know (if we've read about the guy at all) that he doesn't really know a thing about committed long-term relationships.  We know ('cause he doesn't have any of his own) that he doesn't know JACK about raising, loving and leading your kids.

He's a TV host, a producer (and prolific at that), an entertainer.

He's impressive.  I'm a fan.

But he's not a spiritual leader or a counsellor.

So in that moment, as that woman calls in for advice, he's using her plight as a means to an end and that end is entertainment for his audience and ratings and revenue for himself.  The goal is that his listeners will be entertained by hearing this woman's story and by 'listening in' on the way in which Ryan engages her.

Ultimately he's looking to get a laugh.

At her expense.

And that's pretty sad--especially because the woman is a willing participant, trading her dignity for a moment 'in the sun' with Ryan.

Speaking as a preacher here, what it seems to me she needs is that thing she can't get from an entertainer.  What she needs is that costly truth that transforms a life.  What she needs is love and comfort rooted not in a man but in the Lover of her soul.

Again, as preacher here, what she needs---it seems to me--is Jesus.

And I gotta' say that I find it funny that so many entertainers feel and fuel the impulse to 'connect' to 'make a difference' to reach out, to 'minister' to their audience.

It's like the 'all rappers want to be basketball players and all basketball players want to rappers' thing.  

It might be that entertainers and preachers are similar people with similar giftings.

Just radically difference sources.

T

progress...

Pretty cool thing happened last week.

The Church I planted with my friend (and our wives) back in 2001 just moved to a new home. St Stephen's in the field (under construction in the above archival shot) in downtown Toronto. They've launched a new site and are moving towards a Sunday morning service in addition to their flagship evening service.  In addition St. Stephen's will provide them with mid-week space and office space.

It's a huge step in the right direction and a credit to their Elders and my man Cyril Guerette the lead pastor there.

They had their first service there this past Sunday.  If you're a Toronto-dweller and inclined to check out a Church I'd (obviously) heartily recommend hitting Freedomize Toronto up.

The reason for the post on it--other than to give props where they're richly deserved--is to mark the occasion, like a signpost.  

For me, personally, this step for FT is an affirmation of my and my friends sense of original call--that there was room in downtown Toronto's culture for a Church that would do things in a way that 'spoke to' our post-christian peers.  It's eight years later and our wee baby Church is not only still kicking but growing.

That's something to be thankful for.

(I mean, who wants to plant a Church only to see it die?)

Something to thank God for.

Something to remind me (and maybe 'us') of the fact that nothing is built overnight and nothing is built without pain and nothing is built without grace.

But if you (and others) faithfully do what you've been called to do (and even when you lack faith you still do it out of sheer discipline) day after day stretching into year after year, something beautiful and good and life-giving can rise into being where before that thing was not.

Like a downtown Church.

Or maybe a new suburban one.

Oh snap!

More on that later.

T

glee...

Some moments of 'pure joy' are like this picture.

Spontaneous.

I'm sitting in the driveway, my wife and youngest girl-child are playing, she spins her in the air, her head comes back and guffawing ensues.

Daddy happens to have his camera nearby.

'snap'

A moment of pure joy.

But, of course (and you know this), not all of life is like that.  In fact most of life is the opposite of that.  If you were to count the number of hours you spend feeling down or depressed then divided that by the number of moments in which you can remember experiencing pure simple joy, chances are you'd get further depressed.

Unless you remember what I just remembered.

See, I'm renovating my back yard.  It's a huge job.  My muscles and brain and work-ethic are stretched and tired.  I find this kind of work to be almost pure drudgery and--to make matters worse--(as I've mentioned here before) I'm not especially 'good' at it, so that makes the process even more painful.

My remedy is to move slowly.

I just keep thinking, and measuring carefully, then I think some more and measure again, then I rough it in, then measure again, then think then measure then cut.

Needless to say I couldn't make a living doing this 'cause I'm just too dang slow.

But I find that allowing myself to move at a cautious non-stressed pace gives me the mental and spiritual head-space I need to not freak out and keep at it.

This, perhaps, is something for me (and maybe you) to keep in mind as we face those tough hours and days and weeks and months and years that make up our average ordinary lives. There's really no way to make it 'easier' so we have to find a way to get through it.

'Cause you know what?  Once my backyard it done my wife and I and our babies and our close friends and family are going to have some moments of pure joy out there in that newly minted backyard.  'Course we won't get to those fleeting moments unless I keep trudging my way slowly through the hard work of getting the thing 'done'.

This is relevant for storytellers because our stories tend to skip over the long stretches of hardship in the lives of our characters to focus on those significant 'up' or 'down' moments that make for good drama.  I think it's important to remember to lace the tales you tell with enough 'drudgerous reality' to keep the thing 'feeling' somewhat close to 'real'.  If it's all extremely 'up' or all extremely 'down' your audience is going to 'pop out' of your story just like they would in response to a VFX shot that didn't quite 'work'.

For the pulpit-masters reading my thought is that our sermons must reek of honesty.  We must not try to rush our way through the rough patches (in our life or in the text) because if we do we might lose that empathic ability to connect with our audience as they go through theirs.

And in your stories and in your sermons (and may it be that it might be in your lives as well...) be sure to fit in a moment or two of pure joy.

Because that's what keeps us going.

T

DIY...

Let's get one thing straight.

I don't build.

At least when I have a choice.

But this week I've decided to 'self-employ' myself as a contractor.  The reason is we've got this backyard that basically hasn't been touched in at least 30 years and it's gotten so bad that we're an embarrassment to our ancestors!

So, push came to shove this week (we've been toying with the idea for years) and we decided to get to it.

And here's the point.

As I said off the top.  I'm not much of a builder.  I don't enjoy working with my hands, I'm not particularly good at it, and I haven't done much of it so I'm slow.  But I decided to do absolutely as much of it as possible.

We're destroying our shed and building a new (bigger) one.  We're pulling up our patio, cleaning all the stones, doing a new surround, re-laying the stones and sealing them.   We're also re-parging the foundation and doing a 6X6 surround for our kids climbing gym.

The only part I'll have the pros do is the patio surround, the laying of the stones and the parging.

Everything else will be me.

And here's why.

I can do 80% of the work 80% as good as the pros and I'm much cheaper.  Today--for example--I saved myself $1,000 and, like grandpa used to say, a penny (or a 'g note') saved is a penny earned.

So I'm doing it.

And that's a vital lesson to me and perhaps to you.

In your work (as a preacher or a church planter or a producer or a _________ ) there are always going to be things that need doing that you can't really afford to do.  You can let them lie undone or get to it and do 'em yourself.

The thing is, if you're careful, and work slowly you'll probably do a 'good enough' job that no one will be the wiser as to whether or not you're professionally qualified.

And you'll have a great piece of work (a Church, a great sermon, a screenplay, a new initiative at the office...) done and be moving onto your next.

On the other hand if you--like so many others--just sit there moping about it, wishing that that 'thing' in your life and/or work would change or wishing that you had more money, talent, time, ______ on hand to get it done, you'll end up wasting your life pining.

As usual when I get down to some simple manual labor, I'm reminded that the same work ethic required to pull down a shed and fill a dumpster will pay huge dividends when applied to the 'real' (actually compensated) work I have to do with the rest of my month.

Shed down.  Lesson learned.

T