on the road again...

Living in airports today.

'Cause somebody--other than me--hopped online and cancelled my ticket for today.

Seriously?

Bad enough that I got stopped and fully searched at the border.  Bad enough that I usually fly to L.A with a day to turn around and rest before I start shooting.  Bad enough that I usually shoot two days of 11 interviews back to back, which leaves me all but dead, and this time I have to shoot THREE consecutive days.  Bad enough that I usually fly home Friday and basically sit very still for Saturday/Sunday and this time I fly home and get ready to preach my tail off this Sunday for 'week two' at THE WELL...

They cancelled my flight.

So I was supposed to arrive in L.A today at 3:30pm my time but instead I'll arrive at midnight. I'll basically fall into bed, then wake up at 5:00am local (which won't be so bad) and study the sheets I should be studying now, as they're printed and waiting for me in L.A.

Truth be told, I have had the sheets sent to me electronically today but I'm just so down and fried that I don't know how much I'll be able to do.  I'm used to my rhythm y'know?

And my rhythm's been disturbed.

How do you get past that and still do good work?  How do you show up tomorrow like you're happy to be there when, really, you're not?  How do you bring your 'A' game when all you want to do is curl up and sleep?

We'll find out tomorrow.

The upside of traveling whilst in a 'funk' is that your mind tends to wander down productive/introspective lane ways.  

I've been thinking today that my 3.5 year layoff from full-time preaching has robbed me of my 'voice'.  I mean, maybe not robbed me altogether ('cause I preached pretty well and 'like' me twice this summer), but certainly stolen some of my familiarity with it.

And, in the absence of hearing my own voice in the pulpit, I've been hearing the voices of many others and, while said voices have been helpful and productive and insightful and encouraging they haven't been 'my' voice and the upshot is that--looking back on this past Sunday--when I stepped up into the pulpit I stepped up and tried to sound and speak like and deliver content that hewed to the 'voices' of those I've been listening to.

Which is 'public speaker kryptonite'.

My wife mentioned this to me last night.

"Maybe this whole 'preaching series' thing just isn't you..."

And she's probably right.

See, the way I tend to work creatively (and that includes preaching and screenwriting and directing and producing and narrative writing) is that I observe life at it unfolds all around me each day while thinking about my audience and meditating on what I might be 'hearing' from God--or the 'great uncaused-cause' if you're less structured than I when it comes to faith and belief--all while reading my Bible and watching movies and reading books and studying the news and loving my family and doing the things we love to do together.

The trend in most preaching these days (at least among the guys I follow--was friends with--and respect) is to preach through books of the Bible in protracted series.

Ramping up to launching THE WELL I just decided that I'd preach series too.  What I think might be true is that I'm not wired to preach that way.

I also am remembering that, for me, much of the storytelling (including pulpit-oriented storytelling) I'm naturally attracted to--if not most or all--is inspirational in nature.  As I think about the 'space' I think I'm built to fill in the storytelling universe I think that it's somehow connected to that aspect of story.  The part of 'tale telling' that encourages the hearer to LIVE, to get up and DO, to BELIEVE and TRUST, and HOPE.

I think the difference is that--unlike many 'inspirational' authors or preachers or filmmakers--my theology doesn't have to mimic the 'new spirituality' craze that's so de rigeur today but can find itself rooted in the story of Jesus as revealed in the Bible and in the histories of the Jewish people the Church and of Western Civilization as a whole.

I think I need to be 'my kind of preacher'.

Gonna' try and re-orient that way for this week.

Lots to think about and lots to do.

Good thing I've got some time to kill.

T