I'm in Cannes...

Okay, you got me, I'M not in Cannes (though I wish it were so) but my intellectual property is and if it's true that all creativity comes from within then a little (or big) piece of me is over there right now.

I've got a movie and a TV series currently being repped at MIP COM which is the biggest TV and FILM market in the World.  Everybody who's anybody in show business the World over (particularly buyers and sellers of TV series and films) is there looking to sell and be sold this week.

And--for the first time in my career as a writer/producer/director--that includes two properties with my name on 'em.

I just wanted to note this for no other reason than to publicly comment on 1) what a long road it's been to get to this point.  I used to dream of finding a way to break in to this kind of environment 2) how humbling it is to be at this stage, mostly because by now I've suffered disappointment so many times that I'm kind of numb to the process and resigned to the fact that it just is what it is, I can't control it, so I might as well just keep working and let things run their course--to say nothing of the fact that there have been countless people involved in the journey so far to whom I owe much gratitude 3) how mind-bending it is that things you think aren't connected actually are.

You also may not be in Cannes this week but I thought this might speak to you anyway:

-It takes a long time.

-You'll 'get there' after being broken and broken and broken again.

-You never know which connection or seemingly 'dead end' is going to turn out to be your big break.

Put those three into your context and keep at it friends.

T

The long (LONG) road...

Thought I'd share that with you.

You're looking at a shot of the main monitor in the finishing suite at Optix Digital Pictures in Toronto where, today, I supervised the TV version cut of THE STORM my first feature film.

Reason I thought I'd post it is because of the time stamp (date) you see at the bottom.

September 29, 2009

Today's date.

No biggie right?

Mind you, if you were aware (as I so painfully am) of the fact that I 'locked' the final version of THE STORM back in early March 2007 you'd see that date and feel the significance of it.

WE'RE TALKING TWO AND A HALF YEARS LATER!!

And the TV edit is just being done now and we've just now signed an agreement that should see our wee film hit select theaters in the U.S and the Worldwide market on TV and DVD in time for Halloween 2010.

THREE AND A HALF YEARS LATER!!

Talk about your 'long road home...'

It's almost unbelievable in some ways.  I mean, I knew it was hard to write, produce and direct your own independent film.  I knew it was virtually impossible for that film to ever see the light of day in terms of mainstream distribution, but that said--like every other first-time filmmaker--my hope was that we could be the exception.

And we worked hard, with the realities of the shoot, with the production value, with the story, with the cut and especially with the post-production (score, special effects, sound design, color correction and mastering) to try and set ourselves up to deliver something outstanding for the segment of the market we knew our film would eventually inhabit.

Along the way we had the film set up, and it fell apart, then re-set up, and it fell apart and in the midst of that process we've kept working to build our rep, build our contacts, build our slate and get ourselves into situations where we can meet people who can point us to the right people in the hopes that they might respond to our small, first-time film.

I think a key lesson in this for me (beyond the obvious ones related to the 'doing' of the thing in the first place) has been that everything you do, and I do mean EVERYTHING, can work together to help the things you do find their way in the World.

This means that everything is connected.  Nothing is wasted.  

You have to stay positive in the face of constant doubt and rejection and keep believing that, eventually, the thing you've done will find it's place.

I'll keep you posted on how things develop but thought I'd let you know today was a satisfying day.  My hope is that you will have some satisfying days soon as you keep at it, and keep at it, and...

Keep at it.

T

Constantly humbled...

That's our set for UNSCRIPTED the TV show I'm producing this year.  Pictured is yours truly with Mr. Nigel Lythgoe of 'American Idol' and 'So You Think You Can Dance' fame.  We're on-set at the Montage Hotel in Beverly Hills and you can see that all it takes is three green screens, some lighting and five cameras to take you away.

Thought I'd also mention that my interview with Mr. Lythgoe wasn't my best ever.  Reason? Well, the simple truth is I geeked out a bit.  My wife and I are big fans of SYTYCD and I ended up spending more of the conversation with Mr. Lythgoe in that vein than I did exploring his life which is our typical mandate.

Part of it was due to the fact that, in the moment with him, I felt like my more biographical questions weren't exciting him enough so I began steering away a little more towards his work and part of it was because I know his show is a big hit in Canada so I knew that line of question and answer would get a response from our audience but the hard truth was I just got too personally involved--because I'm a fan--and didn't deliver my best work as a result.

Apparently Mr. Lythgoe was a bit thrown that I didn't get more biographical with him which was embarrassing to me and our team.

I must say he was a real gentleman throughout.  I do apologize to him for geeking out.  I hope our audience will love his interview and keep watching his show.

What I take from this is a lesson to keep my cool and keep growing and, like any lesson, it's eating some humble pie for me to learn it.

Also, in the other 'zone' of my career--at ye' old chuch plant--I'm very aware that my sermons are not yet at the level they once were when I was doing it week in and week out.  It's hard for me to keep doing it when I know that I could be much better but I have to remember that, 1) it's ultimately not about me and 2) you can't 'rush' the process.  Learning and growing happen over time and each 'less than perfect--in my opinion--sermon' is another rung on the way back up to a level of effectiveness that I know is possible 'cause I've been there before.

Again, it's humbling for me.

The sermon got posted today.  You can check it out for yourself to see what I mean by humbling.

Keeping at it today, in the face of it all.

Hope you're keeping at things on your end.

Humbly yours,

T

Where's my Butler?

I came home from L.A and, as usual, struggled a bit the first day or two back getting used to what my 'normal' life is like.

'Cause, lemme' tell you, L.A 'aint normal.

I have a butler there.

Well, 'we' have a butler.  He is tasked to our crew for the duration of our shoot and quite literally waits on us hand and foot from morning 'till night.

When I arrive in the morning he's got eggs how I like 'em done with toast how I like it and coffee and butter and PB&J and freshly squeezed OJ.  I don't even have to ask.

For lunch, I walk out of the studio and he's got a steaming plate of spaghetti bolognese waiting for me with fine linen and silverware and shredded parmegiano regianno.  

Anything we want, he gets.

It's sick.

Granted we PAY through the nose for the fine catering we get at the hotel and we do so for the sake of our guests and our crew, not for us, but we do enjoy the benefits of it.

And let me say that, while I'm engrossed in the kind of intense focus it takes to shoot 11 high-quality 45min interviews non-stop, back to back, all day for three days straight, the last thing I have brain space left for is deciding what to eat or when.  My Executive Producer, our L.A producer, and our Butler take it upon themselves to just point me in the right direction and tell me what to do.

I'm that focused and fried while I'm on-set.

I never really 'got' the whole Hollywood catering thing until I got to a certain level.  I remember directing my first feature-film.  It was a small film but a real one.  The stress was intense and almost unbearable.  I remember on day 17--the worst day of the shoot--it starting to rain and, without saying a thing, sensing my grips building a 'tent' over and around me from a bunch of 'C' stands and black drape.  I didn't even have to take my eyes off the monitor or my mind out of the scene.  One minute it was raining and I was getting wet, the next I was dry.

It's that kind of 'care' that spoils so many who work at this level and the levels beyond.

You hear about a 'culture of entitlement' in Hollywood.  You hear about the same thing in really big churches.  I think that tendency--to get to the point where you 'expect' to be treated like a star--can rear it's ugly head in both contexts.

I think the thing is this.

1) To acknowledge that sometimes you, and/or the people you're working with are so focused and applying themselves so intensely that they (or you) really, truly, need to have their day to day, moment to moment needs met so that they can stay focused on the very tough task at hand.  This can be true for you and your spouse in your average everyday life.  You need to keep your antennae alert to when they truly need you to 'serve' them.

2) To be very careful that neither you, nor the people you work with get 'used' to being taken care of.  I think it's very easy to settle into being cared for.  I mean, let's face it, it's nicer to have someone bring you dinner and clean it up than it is for you to have to do all the work yourself. The problem is, you can end up with unreal expectations when you get deposited back into your ordinary life.  I think it's really important to stay humble in your ethic and expectations.

Which is tough to do.

'Course, the real problem is that we--as people--tend to selfishness and self-focus and self-absorption.  We'll tend to milk a situation for everything we can get.  Often some of the people you work with will do the same.  So long as they're not footing the bill they'll be happy for you to keep doing so to their benefit and your loss.  They, ultimately don't care whether your kids get fed or not, they just want to 'get' what they can 'get' out of the situation.

The same is true for you right?  I mean, you're not sweating whether or not their rent gets paid this month, are you?

It's this near-mutually-parasitic relationship that goes on.

The question for me, as a guy who is trying to order his life and work in show business and church planting by a faith that is essentially external to me, is 'how' do I stay righteous (doing the right thing in every situation) in my ethic and repentant (admitting my wrongdoings and asking for forgiveness and help) when I blow it, without getting walked on by the people I work with.

See, you can't assume their motives are the same as yours.  So, what do you do?  From where I sit, you do the right thing and trust God to make up the rest--meaning the shortcomings in yourself and the wrongdoings of others.

And you try to be honest.  If you're not fried and focused beyond belief you don't ask for help and if it's offered you politely decline.  If you are taxed beyond measure and there's help available you take it with thanksgiving and humility.  If you sense someone taking advantage of you or their attitude 'sliding' you call them on it, preferably sooner rather than later.

And...

You don't treat the Butler (or your spouse God forbid...) like a servant, you treat him like a peer who's giving of himself to you and for you.

Yes, he's earning an income off you, but underneath it all he's a human being who's spending the hours of his life--the most essential commodity we have really--in your service, helping you to do what you feel called to do.

You ought to be thankful for that, unattached to that, and unaffected by that.

So that when you come home and your kids are screaming and YOU are making the pancakes and the eggs and the toast and the coffee (and you're going to have to clean it up too) you don't turn to your wife--like I did--with this bemused expression on your face and ask...

"Where's my butler?"

(I was just kidding...and we got a good laugh out of it and I told her, "I've got to blog about that...")

Natch.

T

book lover...

The above is a book I'm reading right now.  It's about the building of Starbucks.  Totally inspiring and informative.  If you're entrepreneurial in the least and have any dreams of making something 'less-ordinary' of your life you must read it.

That second one is one of my favorite books of all time.  I read it once a year, sometimes twice. Sure, part of that is due to the fact that I love movies and love M. Night's work (except 'THE HAPPENING'--what happened?) but another part of it is because I dream of doing something similar--albeit on a much smaller scale.  Michael's book continues to inspire me.

Reason I'm writing about those two books is because I referenced them in a book proposal I just sent off to a bona-fide publisher.  They ask in their form for you to refer to some books that would be either 'competition' or 'comparable'.  Those two were top of my list.

I should DREAM of writing a book so good as either of those.

But I'ma try, that's for dang sure.

Remember me talking about a couple book ideas a while back?

Well, I just wanted to share with you that there have been some concrete steps taken in that direction.  Said 'actual' steps were taken as a result of 1) a 12 year old deep friendship 2) an offer made in truth which I acted on 3) a one-sheet I wrote (after having written literally hundreds that have gone nowhere in my career) that got an IMMEDIATE response 4) a meeting as a result where there was genuine interest and chemistry between me and the publisher 5) a proposal sent to me which I 6) just finished and sent back.

I hope the combination of providence (or luck if you're not quite 'there' yet...) and perseverance embedded in 'ye above list speaks into your life and encourages you to pursue and persevere and respond in your own life and journey.

Just wanted to share with you that sometimes (once in a long, long while...) things seems to 'click' in a funny way.

Still doesn't guarantee that anything will actually happen here but goes to show you that all the work you do is always doing something.

We hope.

And today I'm filled with hope.

Hope--after reading this--that you are too.

T

in simplicity...

That's the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood for you.

Weird spot.  

To sit there knowing that where you're sitting was a favorite spot for Frankie Sinatra and his crew is quite the thing.

But on the other hand you realize that said rat pack were just a bunch of dudes who liked good food, pretty women and a lifestyle that smacked of success and/or excess.

'Cause you gotta have money to hit that spot.

This last trip to L.A really impressed on me the divide that exists as a result of our relative poverty or richness.  The more money you have the more able you are to manufacture a life that seems to be 'good'.

Naturally, sometimes good food is just good food and a cool spot is just a cool spot, but it seems that in L.A the good life is compulsively pursued.

Fast forward to this past Saturday when I'd just arrived home, was jet-lagged out of my skull and driving my son to basketball.

Kanye on the stereo.

"My friend showed me pictures of his kids.  And all I could show him was pictures of my cribs. He said his daughter got a brand new report card.  And all I got was this brand new sports car..."

And--while in L.A--my Executive Producer got into a conversation with one of the stars (a lovely lady) and the fact that he's been married 22 years came up.  The star looked at him with deep sincerity and said, "That's what I'm hoping for..."

And this reminded me that all of us need to continually and carefully assess our lives. From the outside you'd think 'the L.A way' is the best way to live but from the inside those who live that way might think that your simple way of living is infinitely more enticing, interesting and fulfilling.

I'm reminded, again, how important it is to 'know' what you've been put on the planet to do and to simply, humbly and thankfully do it.

'Cause if you don't know what you're about you can get confused by all the...

Flashing lights.

You know?

T

Land of pretension...

Pulled up to our Hotel the other night (here in L.A) and Charlize Theron was pulling up. Seems Dior had an after party going on connected to a premier she was part of.

Paparazzi, videographers, screaming fans, bright lights and...

Rumpled old me getting out of a 'yellow cab' after 17 hours in-transit.

Funny world.

I crashed on the couch in the parking lot (black and fabulous) next to a black and fabulous NBA player with the required iPhone glued to his ear.  Noticed the chandelier.  

Only in a place like L.A--where appearance is everything--would they put an art-installation in the parking lot.

What's interesting is that--once you get to talking with the people who've actually 'made it' in this town--you find that many of the people who play the game by looking as good as that fussy chandelier actually have some very interesting depth to them and some good things to say about life and the struggle.

A reminder to me that I ought to be sure to repent of reverse-discrimination wherein I look down on flashiness automatically assuming it's vacuous because it's fabulous.

Again, the realization is hitting me that everybody has a story and everybody, at the end of the day, is looking to be accepted and to find a way to live, survive, work and make progress.

My interviews are going real well.  Can't wait to get home to my wife, babies and baby-church.

T

on the road again...

Living in airports today.

'Cause somebody--other than me--hopped online and cancelled my ticket for today.

Seriously?

Bad enough that I got stopped and fully searched at the border.  Bad enough that I usually fly to L.A with a day to turn around and rest before I start shooting.  Bad enough that I usually shoot two days of 11 interviews back to back, which leaves me all but dead, and this time I have to shoot THREE consecutive days.  Bad enough that I usually fly home Friday and basically sit very still for Saturday/Sunday and this time I fly home and get ready to preach my tail off this Sunday for 'week two' at THE WELL...

They cancelled my flight.

So I was supposed to arrive in L.A today at 3:30pm my time but instead I'll arrive at midnight. I'll basically fall into bed, then wake up at 5:00am local (which won't be so bad) and study the sheets I should be studying now, as they're printed and waiting for me in L.A.

Truth be told, I have had the sheets sent to me electronically today but I'm just so down and fried that I don't know how much I'll be able to do.  I'm used to my rhythm y'know?

And my rhythm's been disturbed.

How do you get past that and still do good work?  How do you show up tomorrow like you're happy to be there when, really, you're not?  How do you bring your 'A' game when all you want to do is curl up and sleep?

We'll find out tomorrow.

The upside of traveling whilst in a 'funk' is that your mind tends to wander down productive/introspective lane ways.  

I've been thinking today that my 3.5 year layoff from full-time preaching has robbed me of my 'voice'.  I mean, maybe not robbed me altogether ('cause I preached pretty well and 'like' me twice this summer), but certainly stolen some of my familiarity with it.

And, in the absence of hearing my own voice in the pulpit, I've been hearing the voices of many others and, while said voices have been helpful and productive and insightful and encouraging they haven't been 'my' voice and the upshot is that--looking back on this past Sunday--when I stepped up into the pulpit I stepped up and tried to sound and speak like and deliver content that hewed to the 'voices' of those I've been listening to.

Which is 'public speaker kryptonite'.

My wife mentioned this to me last night.

"Maybe this whole 'preaching series' thing just isn't you..."

And she's probably right.

See, the way I tend to work creatively (and that includes preaching and screenwriting and directing and producing and narrative writing) is that I observe life at it unfolds all around me each day while thinking about my audience and meditating on what I might be 'hearing' from God--or the 'great uncaused-cause' if you're less structured than I when it comes to faith and belief--all while reading my Bible and watching movies and reading books and studying the news and loving my family and doing the things we love to do together.

The trend in most preaching these days (at least among the guys I follow--was friends with--and respect) is to preach through books of the Bible in protracted series.

Ramping up to launching THE WELL I just decided that I'd preach series too.  What I think might be true is that I'm not wired to preach that way.

I also am remembering that, for me, much of the storytelling (including pulpit-oriented storytelling) I'm naturally attracted to--if not most or all--is inspirational in nature.  As I think about the 'space' I think I'm built to fill in the storytelling universe I think that it's somehow connected to that aspect of story.  The part of 'tale telling' that encourages the hearer to LIVE, to get up and DO, to BELIEVE and TRUST, and HOPE.

I think the difference is that--unlike many 'inspirational' authors or preachers or filmmakers--my theology doesn't have to mimic the 'new spirituality' craze that's so de rigeur today but can find itself rooted in the story of Jesus as revealed in the Bible and in the histories of the Jewish people the Church and of Western Civilization as a whole.

I think I need to be 'my kind of preacher'.

Gonna' try and re-orient that way for this week.

Lots to think about and lots to do.

Good thing I've got some time to kill.

T

Oh the joys...

...of entrepreneurial endeavor.

Man oh man do we feel like we got killed today.

Today was 'day one' at THE WELL a new church we're planting in Burlington Ontario, Canada. We'd been prepping for several months and today it all came together.

Sort of.

Technically things were fine and, for those of you who know, it's extremely rare to not have any gremlins rear their ugly heads.  Everything we had to set up did it's job and didn't break so that was good.

(next week though I think we'll totally change the room around)

Part of that is due to the dry run we did Friday night where we set everything up, made sure it worked, then tore it all down again.  Didn't do that the first time we planted a church so 'day one' back in 2001 was a nightmare.

Learned THAT lesson.

People came.  That was cool.  Could have been just me and my family.  We had 45 adults and 25 kids so that's, what, seventy people all told.  Pretty good numbers for a first week.  Next week I expect we'll drop to 30 adults and 15 kids 'cause our friends and family who drove in just for the launch won't be back.

It's tough with people.  You try to read them, hope they're having a good time and getting something out of it but you just can't ever really be sure.  I must confess that, while preaching, I felt like I was running uphill into a bowl of a pea soup.

Just couldn't get off the ground.

That's hard.

I'm used to there being some point in the sermon where things really start to 'click' and you find the 'pocket' and really start rockin'.  Once in a while (usually two or three times a year when you're a full time preacher) you'll have one of those Sunday's where, no matter what you do, you just can't seem to get it going.

Today was one of those for me and I found that tough for our first Sunday.

What I've learned though is you just put it behind you and start thinking about next week trusting that, really, none of this is actually about you or how you feel or think you've performed.

You just stay faithful, do your job and let God do the rest.

My wife, on the other hand, got killed (figuratively speaking) today.  

Never mind running the kids program--which she doesn't want to do--on top of homeschooling all week but, she had a girl we've been thinking of paying a small honorarium to help us, come with her mother and it became very clear that there's a strong philosophical disconnect between how we want the kids program to go and how they expect it to go.

So, we'll let them know tonight that it's not a fit and will move on.

Then 'the disgruntled religious lady' got ahold of her and talked her ear off.  Totally slimed her. It's taken Niki five or six hours to shake it off.

All afternoon Niki's been in a serious funk wanting to quit, pack it all in, run away, basically do anything except this.

That's tough.  Real tough.

We were fortunate to have one of our best couple-friends and their kids come out today and they came over after and we ate and chilled and de-toxed.

Then Niki went for a bike ride with the girls while I unpacked the minivan and she stopped by my parents place.  They were there with our godparents (who'd also come this morning) and all four of them said what a wonderful morning they'd had at THE WELL.  Dad referred to their first Sunday planting their church in Jerusalem back in 1982 and told her that after their first week they felt flat as a pancake, felt that it had sucked, and wanted to quit.

He reminded her that it's simple faithfulness that's required and that God will do the rest.

She was real encouraged by that.

Then we got an email from a girl who was there today and she LOVED it.  Loved the worship, loved the preaching, loved communion.  Loved it.

So, maybe we didn't suck as bad as we thought.

I will now sit down to watch 'Sunday Night Football' then sleep then get on a plane to fly to L.A to shoot 33 interviews this week, meet with a high-level agency on a BIG initiative I'm hoping to get on the rails, squeeze in some time to write next week's sermon, fly home Friday, detox Saturday then...

Do 'Day Two' at our wee baby church.

(and preach better so help me...)

C'mon out and see us?

T

So, you wanna' plant a church do ya?

I'm just sayin'...

That's what's in your future if you answered 'yes' to the above.

A minivan packed TO THE GILLS with carpets and a sound system and a projector and candles and lego and duplo and music stands and tool boxes and kids books and homemade rice crispie squares.

It's glamorous this church-planting thing lemme' tell you.

My wife and I have been working non-stop for four days straight.  Last night I finished setting up, a dry run, and tearing down at 11:15pm.  Got home by midnight.  Started my day at 5:30am.

Today we've been going--literally--non-stop since 8:00am.  It's currently 10:30pm and we're still not finished.

My headache is so intense it's breaking through my third and fourth extra-strength tylenol of the day.

Our eyes are burning, our minds are racing, our hearts are pounding.

And we're looking forward to tomorrow morning and scared out of our minds all at the same time.

We don't know if anyone will come.

Tomorrow we start.  10:30am.  THE WELL officially comes into existence.  

We're hangin' on by a very thin thread over here.

I've got to say, this same feeling of exhaustion is what you feel when you're directing your first feature-film or doing the third re-write on your script or doing your tenth interview of the day or _____________ .  (fill in the blank from your life)

It's true what they say.

Nothing worth doing is ever easy.

So if you're facing something impossible, know that you're not alone.  You got at least one other couple on the face of the earth reaping the whirlwind tonight.

Holy smokes.  Here we go.

Looking forward to letting you know how it goes.

T

right in the thick of it...

Oh man, oh man what I week I'm having.

That's me 'on-set' in between takes shooting the first round of videos for THE WELL.  We shot some basic introductory type stuff, 'what you can expect' and that sort of thing.  The great part about it is we shot it with my good friend--and genius director/cinematographer/editor--Chris Stacey.

Wait 'till you see how they turned out.  Man, goes to show you--once again--that there's absolutely not substitute for a fabulous camera with glorious lenses and someone at the helm who's got an 'eye' and knows how to paint with light.

Seriously.

In addition we've been sourcing kids stuff, prepping power point, building sermon promo videos, getting promo flyers done, meeting with our worship leader, opening bank accounts, trying to get a screen and projector from a dude who treated me like crap right from the get-go (we ended up finding a different guy who specializes in churches and is going to LEND us a set up until our purchased one arrives...how 'bout that?) forgetting remote power point clickers, making to do lists, getting volunteers in place, helping a couple single moms (one fresh out of prison) move into a new apartment, writing copy for a new TV special we're shooting, studying for 33 interviews I'm doing next week in L.A, and writing my first sermon.

Today I started getting sick.

This always happens to me when I get crazy busy.  My stress gets internalized I think (I'm really trying to stay calm and I feel quite calm but...) and that suppresses my immune system and--bingo bango--I start getting a cold.

My director will be laughing at me and rolling his eyes 'cause I've not once (seriously not once) arrived in L.A for a shoot without being sick to some greater or lesses degree.

At least I'm used to it, have a drug of choice that helps me cope and don't freak out about it like I used to.

Oh...

And I'm meeting a major publisher tomorrow who's interested in a book I'm thinking of.

How'd that happen?

Well, last week we were partying with some of our dearest friends at their house with their kids and ours.  It was sunny, the pool was ninety and the livin' was easy.  Later that night at dinner--yes, our kids are now old enough to babysit THEMSELVES, oh happy day--our friend looks me in the eye and says, "So when are you going to write a book already?"

We'd been talking about our journey, sharing some deep and honest and provocative truths together, 'cause when you've been friends as long as we have you can be your authentic self and don't have to fake it at all, and she just hit me with it.

"Seriously, I'll shop it around if you do."

Kind words from a friend to be sure.  But if that friend also happens to be the director of marketing for a major distribution house you ought to sit up and take notice.

So what'd I do?

I went home and wrote a book proposal the next day.  Sent it to her and waited.

Like two days later she copies me on her email to her boss (the publisher) recommending me to him and attaching the 'one sheet' I'd written for the book idea.

He calls her seven minutes after getting the email.  From the airport.

"I've got to meet this guy.  Can we do it next week?"

And just like that I'm meeting a major publisher tomorrow morning at eight.

Lesson:

You can't make anything happen.  You have to live your life humbly, and as honestly as you can, doing what you feel called to do because you feel called to it and for no other reason.  You must love the people you know without agenda and simply keep walking out your life in relationship. When a moment comes (and it may take years and years) where there's an opening or an opportunity presented, act on it.

Then wait.

And, clearly, we both know (from painful experience) that not every opening turns into anything and I am prepared and ready for tomorrow's meeting to go nowhere.

But I've learned to see every opportunity as a moment upon which you will build your life. Doesn't mean that moment will turn into what you were hoping for but it almost certainly will turn into something.

At some point.

We'll see.

I'm pleased though and grateful and expectant.

And getting sick.

T

I'll remember this one...

Big day today.

Today was going to be the day I wrote my first sermon for THE WELL.

This is a big deal on several fronts.  1) I haven't been a 'professional preacher' for three and a half years now.  I did get to preach twice this past summer (and was very relieved to discover I haven't completely 'lost it'...) but that was as a guest and there's a big difference between preaching as a guest and preaching in your own church. 2) I'm going to be preaching in (my) 'own' church.  And, since I'm eminently un-hire-able in your typical church that must mean that I'm (together with my family) about to plant another church.  3) I have what might amount to the craziest three weeks of my career thus far ahead of me so I needed to get a head start on some of the writing I'm going to need to be doing in the hopes that I might find a way to stay out head of the curve when it comes to my ongoing workload.

So, here's how the day went:

We started with brunch downtown Burlington.  Benny's is a great diner right on the water.  This is good because 1) it's a diner which means good simple food 2) it's downtown which is good because downtown is better than non-downtown and being downtown helps focus your mind on this city as THE city God has called you to with the Gospel 3) it's by the water and everything is better by the water.

Ultimately it was good because my wife and babies were there with me.

Then, my wife and babies went off to see their 'Grandmamama...' and I got on my bike to ride to Bronte Harbor to do my preliminary dissection.  

This was good because 1) Not having your wife and babies around helps you to ignore them better which is what you have to do when you're writing 2) Bronte harbor is a harbor and harbors are God's country and I needed to talk to God and listen to God so that I could write a good sermon, worthy of the name 3) I wrote surrounded by people which helped to remind me that the Gospel is for people and 4) I wrote surrounded by Gods creation which helped to remind me that the Gospel is all about Him really and 5) I had to ride my bike there which tricks me into staying in shape and that's good 'cause 6) you can't preach very well if you're dead.

Then, because it was too windy by the water (which--in my book--is typically a VERY good thing) I came home, went down into my office and started a new 'sermon book'.  This was momentous because 1) I've always done it this way and this new book is number eight I think which reminds me that I've been a preacher for a very long time (since I was 19) and that helps me have confidence that the same God that called me then is calling me know and will gift me with what I need to do a good job for the sake of His glory and His people 'cause He did it before 2) the sermon book will be deployed in a new church and since I'm eminently un-hire-able... (yada yada yada...you know the rest but please come see us at THE WELL anyway) this is pretty exciting stuff.

Then I wrote until my wrist ached and finished my first--new--sermon which is a good thing because 1) sore wrists for a preacher mean he's out of practice which means he used to be in practice which means he can be in practice again if he keeps at it 2) it means the first sermon is done.

Which is a VERY good thing 'cause I've got a friggin' church to plant kids!

See you Sunday.

T

will wonders never cease?

What was it, two blogs ago where I gave you my list of needs?

Last I checked I needed just shy of fourteen thousand dollars worth of gear provided in less than a week.

Right?

So, I told you already about the 'handshake loan' that got me my sound system.  What I neglected to tell you was that Niki and I had decided to fast this week.  Fasting is a way of praying with the body (as my former associate used to put it) where we effectively say to God, "Lord, it's more important for me to pray on this with focus than it is for me to ________ ." And you fill in that blank with a certain thing you 'deny yourself' for a specific length of time.

Niki and I have been, understandably I think, feeling the pressure of this new venture and we've been trying to find a way to make a breakthrough in areas of our life that have nothing to do with church planting.  

Specifically, Niki (a fitness professional) has been feeling a growing desire to find a way to leverage her skills in new--and ideally revenue-generating--ways.

I have a new TV series launching on the 14th, 33 new episodes to shoot on the 15th/16th/17th plus an international syndication deal in the works (that could totally change our lives) as well as a distribution deal pending for my first feature film...AND...a new (and very exciting) project I'm trying to raise a significant $ number for that--if it happens--will be THE biggest production I've ever done in my life, bar none.

The point of listing all of the above is to confess (for us) and illustrate for you the utter hopelessness of our situation.  We are utterly, totally and completely in over our heads. There's really nothing we can do to make any of this happen but we really want it to happen and want very much to put ourselves in a posture of obedience such that we're able to hear God speak and follow His lead.

So we decided to fast.

But from what? I mean, we can't sleep less, out kids would eat us alive. We can't really eat less, 'cause chasing our four babies around all day takes everything we've got. We don't want to stop sleeping together 'cause THAT 'AINT HAPPENING (!) so that leaves us with nothing to fast from.

Except wine.

That's right.  Yuk it up fuzzball, we're glad to be able to cause you such glee.

It feels very humbling to have you laughing at us.

Yes, we fasted from wine.

Sunday to Sunday.

And you'd think--what's the big deal--except you don't realize what red wine gets used for in our house.  It's a 'rhythm' thing.  We finish dinner, bathe the kids, clean the house, tell them stories, read the Bible together, pile on for prayer (wherein all the kids climb up on me and we pray together...it's lots of fun) then get 'em to bed, then sit downstairs or upstairs or anywhere we can rest our sorry butts for a minute and...

Drink a glass of red wine.

Every.  Night.

It's good for the heart and it's good for the soul.

But this week we've been fasting from it and it's been hard.  No joke.

But...

First I got my sound system financed for next to nothing then--yesterday--I got a phone call telling me that the remaining $9,000 in gear I needed had been covered.

For real.

Yes, just like that.

And you could be saying "Well, that's just a coincidence..." which would be easy for you to say 'cause you weren't lying in bed with us last Sunday night trying to figure out how in the heck we could focus in--in prayer and work ethic--on Jesus in obedience to ask Him to give us a breakthrough with all of the details outlined above.  And you didn't agree to fast and you didn't get a sound system all but given to you mid-week or another nine grand landed in your lap by the end of it.

But I did.

Think I'ma have a big glass of red wine tomorrow night to celebrate.

(and if you're needing a breakthrough, might a make a suggestion?)

T

provision comes in all shapes and sizes...

So a couple of days ago I blogged about some of the things we need for launching THE WELL and their attendant price tags.

I told you I had no idea how we were going to 'pay' for any of them but that I'd keep you posted on how things developed.

Well, here's your first report:

That there trunk is full.  Packed to the gills (but note that it ALL fits) with a sound system.

Yes.

A.  SOUND.  SYSTEM.

Picked it up today.

Cross one $5,000 line item off the 'in faith' list kids.

How'd it happen?  Well, I sent an email out to the VP's of THE WELL and to one of my friends who was an elder at my last church and who (with his wife and kids) will be joining us this time 'round, updating them on the costs and asking them to prayerfully consider how they might help.

I also have standing offers out to five big churches in our area asking them for help.  I've heard back from three and things aren't looking peachy in the short-term but we'll see in the end. While the lead guys at each church have been very kind (sincerely so) it's a lesson worth mentioning to any potential church planters out there reading this blog that the gap between goodwill and follow-through is a wide one.

This doesn't mean the guys you deal with are any less nice or gracious or less deserving of your respect, thanks, and admiration, but it simply reinforces the realization that most churches (and certainly almost ALL business in general) are typically focused on their own issues, ideas and bottom lines and the chances of you breaking through and getting them to act for your benefit are slim to none.

(note to self: don't be like this if you ever 'make it' with this one...)

Again (and some of them may be reading this) I'm not saying you do anything other than be gracious, humble and grateful for their time and consideration, I just want you to be prepared to not get what you need most of the time.

It's kinda' just the way it is.

That said--and this is why you can extend love and peace--God is your provider not anyone or anything else.  God knows what you need (not 'want' but need...) and He will provide for you exactly what you need--even if it seems to you at the time that it's not enough.

So...

I email the sound people yesterday and ask if they might consider allowing us to pay in installments.  Didn't think they would but the Bible teaches that we 'have not because we ask not...' (and when we ask and still don't get it's 'cause we're asking 'amiss'--again--reminding us that we're not God, we don't know 'best') so I figured I'd put it out there.

They don't get back to me.

But, because love 'hopes all things...' I call today, track the guy down, and sure enough he'd just missed the email.  He pulls it up while we're on the phone and, while we're discussing it, he says, "Oh, by the way we can finance this for you in-house..."

No credit cheque required.  Just and application and basically a handshake.

They do it all the time for 16 years olds trying to outfit their garage as a rehearsal space for their band.  Real old-school, like they look you in the eye, judge your sincerity, take a deposit and out you go.

With a trunk full of gear.

Can you believe it?

( at 35 with four kids as a second-time church planter I'm a bit less of a risk.  I actually laughed at the line in the application asking for my 'parents' name...)

And the first payment isn't due 'till October 9th which will be after we've had four (4) Sunday offerings at THE WELL and--I tend to believe--we might be able to pay it off right then and there.

Crazy.

And I must also comment that technology has come a LONG way in eight years.  When I planted my first church our first sound system nearly bankrupted us.  It was huge, impossible to handle, took ten people working for two hours to set up and basically was a huge pain in the backside.  The rig I bought today didn't exist then.  But...

Lemme' say re: that big rig, 1) It was my fault.  I was way too 'show' oriented in those days and wanted to try and beat Dave Matthews at his own game.  I need to repent of eyes bigger than my brain and hereby do so. 2) The company that sold it to us fleeced us.  We paid 6 times what today's system cost me and easily twice what it was worth at the time.  Dudes saw a couple starry-eye church planters and figured they'd take 'em to the cleaners.

SIX. TIMES.

And my sense, looking back, is that we got suckered.  The lesson from that is that if you're planting a church or starting any kind of capital-intensive business when you're still relatively young and foolish (I was 26 at the time) make sure you seek out and take advice from older folk who've been around the block a few times.  I know you think you know it all (I certainly did) but you don't and I didn't and I'd rather you avoid the beats and hard knocks I had to take to get me to this point.  3) Simpler is better.  Church is all about the content.  Preaching that lifts people's hearts to Heaven and calls them to Jesus.  Worship that lifts people's hearts to Heaven and makes them yearn for home.  Space for them and their kids to be together in God's presence and space for them (if they're single) to find a husband or wife so they can make some babies and live life together loving Jesus, each other and their friends, family, neighbors and city.

That's it.

Just get the tools you need to make (and keep making) that space.

So (and this is for me--and maybe for you depending on where you're at and what you're doing with your life...) keep it simple stupid.

And enjoy that snazzy new sound system that Jesus gave you that looks so good in your trunk.

Gonna' look even better 'on stage' in eleven days!

T

officially official...

So there you go.

It's locked.

Took my boys, got their hair cut, then drove 'em to our new location.  Sat down with the director of the space, chatted a bit, then signed the contract.

There it is up there.

Formal.  Real.  Locked

A great space, with room for 250 people easy, and at a price we can afford.

What's really cool is that the space almost literally 'fell' into our lap after much prayer, lots of work, and some worrying.

We're grateful and getting ready to go.

September 13th, 2009 at 10:30am.

T