a good word...

I realize I run the risk with a post like this of alienating some of my readers. 

This blog is designed to serve as an outlet for expressive communication around the two particular 'zones' of my career; preaching and producing.  The ultimate goal is for my musings and reflections to be of inspiration to those of you who neither preach nor produce but who are simply living your life and finding the odd connection point between my life/journey and yours that is uplifting, useful, encouraging, though-provoking, good, hopeful or inspiring.

That's what it's about.

So, if you read this blog and are not in any way connected to the world of the pulpit nor the faith that anchors that world, you may want to skip this post.

Okay, enough disclaiming...

Here's the reason for this post today.

I got a 'word of knowledge' at Church yesterday.

Now, there may be some of you to whom the term is new, strange or unclear.  The verse typically referenced is 1 Corinthians 12:8.  Here it is from the English Standard Version:

"For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit..." 1 Cor 12:8 (ESV)

The passage is dealing with 'spiritual gifts'--gifts granted to followers of Jesus by the Holy Spirit for the benefit of God's people, sometimes individually, most often corporately.

In many of the more charismatic traditions (including the one in which I was raised) it has been common for the concept of this gift to be misused and/or misapplied.  At worst, you see young pentecostal teenaged boys walking up to the prettiest girl at camp and announcing, "God has told me you're to be my wife..."  My father's suggested reaction to this was to remind the girls to say, "Well, thanks for the compliment, I'll get back to you when God tells me the same thing."

And that's the lingering wisdom Dad left with me on this.

He always said that a genuine 'word of knowledge' should come as no surprise to you but rather should be an affirmation of something you've already been sensing from God and/or wrestling with.  If it comes totally out of the blue, He suggests you disregard it.

The reason is rooted in belief.  If you believe God exists and that--in relationship with Jesus since Jesus is God--we are connected to Him constantly and closely then you believe that God is involved with you in every aspect of your life.  If that's the case and if all spiritual gifts are ultimately given by God the Holy Spirit and sourced in God's Omniscience (all knowledge) then it would be very strange indeed for someone other than you to be more closely connected to God in terms of your life and walk than you.  

The other thing Dad always said is that any 'word of knowledge' should be examined in the light of Scripture and understood in-terms of the gospel and/or your lifelong sense of what God has called you to do and who He has called you to be.

So, all that out of the way, here's what happened to me on Sunday.

We went to Church, attendance was way down as is typical the week after Easter, and the service was in no way spectacular.  It wasn't until the very last song of the worship set that I had any deep sense of the presence of God the Holy Spirit with His people--and from watching and being aware of the outward reactions of the people in the room, there certainly was something different going on during the last song than what had being going on in the hour and a half previous.  

Anyway, service ends, my wife gets talking to a lady who'd been seated behind us.  I pick the kids up from Sunday school where they'd had a great time.  I'm waiting for Niki, who's now talking to someone else, when the lady she was talking to when I'd brushed past to go get the kids walks up to me.  We get to talking.  She looks a little embarrassed for a second then says, "Would you mind if I shared something with you a second?  God just put it on my heart so strong in the service, I really feel I have to share it with you."

Let's pause a second.

I don't know this lady okay?  I know her parents loosely, they're the same age as my grandparents so that puts this lady in her mid-to late forties or so.  She knows me by reputation.  Last time she saw me was nigh on ten years ago when I was preaching at an event she was part of on the U of T campus.  I didn't see her there or know her then in any way.

"Sure" I say, "Lay it on me."  And off she goes.

"Well, I just really felt in the service--about halfway through--that God would say to you that His desire is for you to begin preaching again."

BOOM!

Just like that.

And I'm working real hard to keep it together.  

Having finished her 'word', that one simple sentence, she then proceeded to expand on it a bit, bringing her 'interpretation' of the 'word'.  At this point--if you're the recipient--it's been my practice to hear them out but to not take too seriously their interpretation.  It has always seemed to me that if anyone should be interpreting God's 'word' to you it should be you, and if you remain confused about it, those to whom you're spiritually accountable--in my case my Dad, my wife, and one or two close friends.

(all of whom--by the way--I'd already gone to on this as I'd been wrestling with it in an intense way for at least a quarter of a year...)

When she was done, I thanked her sincerely, and affirmed her faith by telling her that I think her 'word' was a good one.  I told her that God has been dealing with me for the past three months very clearly in this same area and that my wife and I have been in prayer re: God leading us through to the way in which He wants us to walk this growing urge out.

It's very important to be honest and kind with someone when they're sharing these kinds of things with you.  When they're 'on' you should affirm them and their faith and when they're not you might say, "Well, thanks for that.  I don't quite know how applicable that is right now, but I'll pray on it and I really appreciate you taking an interest in me."  

For me, this week, the lady was 'on'. Frighteningly so.

Of particular relevance was that I spent Saturday feeling quite 'lost'.  I felt all but disconnected from the Lord.  I spent most of the day just sitting in my Muskoka chair out front of our house thinking and praying and listening.  The truth of it was that I was really pouring out my heart, asking the Lord to speak to me, to let me know I'm 'His' to give me some sense that I haven't 'left my first love' or spent so much time out of the pulpit that it's 'over' for me.

Deep, soul-searching stuff.

And I'd asked God--on my walk Saturday morning--to speak to me somehow, to show Himself to me, to give me a moment of encouragement that would remind me I'm His child and that He hears my cries of longing and desire to be of-service and faithful.

My wife had asked me how I was feeling Saturday night and I'd told her straight up, "I feel kind of lost at the moment..."  We talked it through, drank our glass of red wine, watched some NBA, then hit the sack.

I didn't think again about my Saturday morning prayers.

So when I got to Sunday and the lady approached me and said what she said it came--at first--as a bolt from the blue (which is nice) then settled down into an awareness that this 'word' fit exactly into the journey I'd been walking the past three months or so.

Which is even better.

And the end result is that I feel connected--which is a nice feeling to get once in a while--and affirmed, and my prayers, which have been in that certain direction for some time now, have been fueled with a much-needed dose of hope that I'm being heard and that provision (is here) and is coming.

It's key to note that I'm not doing anything differently post-word than I was before it.  I'm just doing what I've been doing, but deeply encouraged.

I'll be sure to keep you posted via this here blog as to how things progress.

For today though, I'm breathing a sigh of spiritual relief, reminded that I am His and He is mine.

T