coming together and falling apart...

Got some cool shots today at Hamilton's big Cathedral.  I've always wanted to go check it out so today I just drove over and--lo and behold--it was under construction and, wouldn't you know it, construction workers are typically friendlier than your average Catholic priest so they just let me in.

Awesome.

And a 'sign' that things are coming together.  The reason I wanted to take shots was for the first sermon series that we'll launch at my new church (THE WELL).  The series will be called CHURCH. and will run for three weeks.  I need imagery to run on-screen during the services as my hope is to visually 'brand' each series with shots that connect to the theme we're exploring.

Figured I might as well 'go big' with the shots.  So, getting into my 'first choice' was something I took as an encouragement, a sign of things to come.  

But at the same time it's important to say that I'm taking the shots because the guy who was going to take the shots can't do it.  It's equally important to state that the guy is my friend--and will continue to be regardless of what he DOES or DOESN'T end up doing--while saying that he SAID he'd do it and I was counting on him.

Here's the point--and I've said it before--you CANNOT plant churches or work in show business or do any kind of pioneering, risk-taking work, unless you're willing to do it ALL yourself.

NOTE: I'm not saying you need to think you're AWESOME at everything--cause I'm clearly not and you're probably not either--but you must be competent and confident enough to try and do your best.

'Cause at the end of the day you have to take responsibility and no one else does.

It's your dream.  It's your job.  It's your privilege.  It's your responsibility.

It's your CHURCH.

So after taking all these shots I went to our local sound vendor and priced out a sound system that's 1) small enough 2) loud enough 3) portable enough and (most importantly) 4) simple enough for...

Me to set up and tear down every Sunday by myself.

(and maybe my homeboys ML or CS with me once in awhile)

'Cause, at the end of the day, you got Jesus, your wife (and in my case your kids) and you and--until you get 'into it' with this thing you're dreaming of, be it a church plant or a movie or a TV series or a business--you're going to have to.

DIY.

T

watching the sky...

We watch the sky for signs of rain.

And other provision.

See, I sometimes forget that this here blog is meant to document not just my 'personal' journey but my professional one as well.

The end-goal is to help me process things (hopefully finding wisdom, inspiration and humility in that process) and to--perhaps--inform your journey (hopefully inspirationally) in some small way as bits and pieces of my path intersect with yours.

So today I thought it'd be helpful to let you know that I need...

Money.

It's funny, I need money on two fronts.

On the CHURCH side of things I've just gotten in the final quotes for all of the gear we're going to need for start-up.  

Here's how that looks:

Projector and Screen--> $4,778.51

Pipe and Drape & Signage--> $4,191.89

Sound System--> $4,899.73

TOTAL--> $13,870.13

How are we going to get it?  Well, on the one hand I have no idea.  I know that I need to buy it by the end of next week in order to have it all delivered and installed in time for our first Sunday service on September 13th, 2009.

On the other hand, I've reached out to four churches who've indicated that they'd be willing to consider helping us out with our start up costs.  T'will be interesting to see if any of them decide to do something and what 'tenor' that provision ends up taking on.

I'm excited to let you know how that's going as the week progresses.

(real, 'from the trenches' type stuff)

On the FILM/TV side I had a meeting earlier this week with a big financier to see if he felt like a current project I'm developing had any merit.  I'm thankful to be able to say that he didn't shoot me down outright--he seemed a wee bit intrigued--and that he'll let me know if he thinks the thing has any actual 'legs' early next week.

If he doesn't think there's any 'real' potential I'll have to go to my Hollywood contacts and tell 'em that--for now--I'm at a bit of an impasse.  If he thinks there are actual steps we can take to try and make this happen I'll get to go to my Hollywood contacts and tell them that the work continues.

It's always one small step at a time.

And it's always about faith.

Believing that your provision's gonna' come.

And they KEY in all of it is to keep moving.  Keep working.  Keep leveraging.  Keep doing things in a way that looks like you actually believe the sky is going to open.

It's almost like acting in faith is a prerequisite for faith.

Y'know?

Like unless you put yourself in a position where you're sure to fail unless something miraculous happens, nothing miraculous every will.

I'm currently reading this book and the writer hit me between the eyes when he said, "If you say you've never had a chance, maybe it's because you've never taken a chance..."

Words to live (and plant churches and develop film and TV properties) by...

T

wanting to run...

Looks like the Caribbean right?

We wish.

In truth, that shot of my baby Zoe was taken at the foot of Brant St. in downtown Burlington, on the shores of Lake Ontario.

I posted the shot because it points to a very real tension Niki and I have been dealing with for the past three days.  As we inch closer and closer to launching THE WELL (our second 'from scratch' church plant) we find ourselves wanting to run away.

"Run awaaayyyy!!!"

Yesterday we spent most of our evening together talking about our very real desire to sell everything, buy a boat and go sail the world while our kids (and we) are still young.

And yet, here in the real world, we're getting ready to do something that will tie us to this town and our normal way of life for a considerable chunk of time.  It's a very real sacrifice.  And I realize that many people would be content to be working towards stability and 'normalcy' but that's never been our motivator.  Niki and I have always been very determined to try to live a life 'less ordinary'.  We live on one income, we homeschool our kids, I'm self-employed, we have FOUR kids, we went to a local  university so we wouldn't have student loans etc. etc. 

The goal has been to try and stay 'off the grid' to some small degree.

And yet, here we are about to start what can look--from most vantage points--like the most average of jobs.

The thought is sobering to say the least.

So we did some thinking and some talking.  This morning she was still feeling unsure.  I reminded her of some other times when she was unsure.

-The night before we got married, she wanted to back out.

-The months leading up to our first church plant, she wanted to back out.

-When we'd decided to leave our first church plant, she wondered if we were making the right decision.

-Every time we got pregnant past the first 'surprise' baby, she wanted to back out.

-When we started thinking about THE WELL, she started wondering.

I reminded her that's she's got commitment issues.

"Good thing I got you when I did..." I said, smiling at her as we brushed our teeth this morning.  "Otherwise you'd still be single!"

She hit me, then laughed.

And the challenge for me is to listen to our urges.  To be honest about them.  To admit that we want to be 'free' but really wrestle with that urge and measure it against what we feel we've been built, designed and called to do.

'Cause it strikes me that being obedient (to what God's built into you and called you to do) is really key to enjoying life.  It's not good to be always 'kicking against the goads...' or fighting what you're clearly supposed to be doing.

Then again, it's really tough to know with any kind of certainty that you're actually supposed to be doing what you're supposed to be doing.

Plus, when you start circling in on your sense of how your life ought to be being ordered you start having to fight all the expectations of your culture, your friends and family, and of the 'system' or tradition that is connected to the thing you're thinking of doing.

There are rules.  "You have to do this..." or "You can't do that..." or "You won't succeed unless..." or "You're sure to fail if you..." and the pressure can really get to you and start you second guessing.

What occurred to me (again) this morning, again down at the Brant St. Pier (Niki and I rode our bikes there with Zoe for breakfast--a good 15km total there and back) was that life truly is a 'choose your own adventure' kind of scenario.

It really is what you make it.

Yes, for a person of faith life myself, you listen to God and do what He tells you to do but when God's not talking you start talking telling Him what's in your heart to do and saying simply and with honest humility that you're going to try and do it as unto Him and for His glory so "Here I go Lord, please stop me if You don't want me to do this and even if I fail I pray You'd glorify Yourself in my weakness..."

And off you go.

So, here we are, exactly four Sunday's from launching THE WELL and we're going to do so in a way that's unique to us, with all our particular gifts and weaknesses and we're  going to find a way to do it in such a way that we are obedient and faithful to the dreams we feel God has put in our hearts.

Including dipping that baby's toes in the real Caribbean before we're too old.

My wish for you?  

That same kind of determined freedom.

T

who am I?

That shot's dope.

(If I do say so myself...)

And it tells you some things about me.  I own a nice camera, but what's the story behind it? I'm strong enough to stand on my own two feet, but who gets credit for that? My Dad is cool, but is he that way strictly as a reaction to his pretty straight-laced 'christian-folk' parents? My youngest son loves motorcycles like me, but what else will he love in his life that's totally different than what I love?  My neighborhood has trees in it, but are they nice trees and do the nice trees have nice houses to match? My folks are wealthy enough to own a Harley each but were they always that way and, relatively speaking, how wealthy--in fact--are they?  It's sometimes sunny in my area of the country, but has the rest of our summer been that way?  My hair is short, but it used to be long and why do I have hair anyway when my Dad--under his helmet and unseen to you--is bald?  Will my son keep his hair?  Will it matter?

So many facts.  So many questions.

That's my life.

I'm really going through it right now.  Not in any particularly difficult way--most of the practicalities of my life are fairly squared away TBTG (thanks be to God)--but I've got things brewing that are causing me to explore deep introspection.

I'm working on a proposal in film and TV land that might be the biggest thing I've ever done. Naturally it all might come to nothing, but I've never let that stop me from doing the work before.  The magnitude of this thing has me feeling really sobered.

In 'church-land' I'm three weeks or so away from launching a second church.  This will be our official second church plant.

Yesterday I got a note from a guy who attended our first one and he had some unsolicited advice and words of warning for me.  I did my best to receive from him what was good, did my best to repent, did my best to be courteous and even kind in my reply.  

What his note did--or how it hit me--was on two levels.  1) I was reminded of the fact that church planting (or, eerily enough, working in show-biz) is fraught with personalities.  People will think certain things and feel certain ways about you and what you do (and how you do it) and there's nothing you can really do--at the end of the day--about it.  Unless you're prepared to have a thick skin, these businesses are not for you.  

And it wasn't that his note was particularly nasty (hey, are you reading this B?) but that any kind of critique (justified or no, don't matter) is tough to take at the best of times.  Never mind one you didn't ask for...

Funny enough, I didn't get chest pain over it and didn't lose sleep over it and didn't react in a way that was unkind or wrong.

Shows you I've grown some.  

The second thing his note reminded me of is my manifold weakness.  I emphatically cannot be 'good enough' for anyone or anything.  Full stop.

In my note back I asked for his forgiveness and told him that I'm working hard at repentance and thanked him for his interest.

And I was being sincere.  It seems to me--in thinking a lot about repentance lately--that if I'm going to attempt to live a repentant lifestyle I need to repent often, repent quickly and repent sincerely.  When I get criticized these days my attempt is to quickly acknowledge my own weakness and fallen-ness and ask for forgiveness.  I then try to change my behavior, not by simply 'being better' or 'doing better' but by trusting in Jesus' kindness towards me and in His ability to change me gently, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, as I walk as His friend--only because He has called me and made me His.

It's a crazy, tough walk.

But I'm finding, as I age, that it's getting a little bit easier.  I think once you hit my accumulated number of years, kids, and days married (4,610 or so as of today which isn't THAT long if you think about it like that...) you start to soften a bit.  By now you've failed enough to know that you're probably going to keep failing.  By now you've succeeded enough to know that it's not all it's cracked up to be and that, most of the time, it's just providence (or dumb luck if you're agnostically-inclined, and I'm sure glad to have you here by the way...) that's at work anyway and that you don't get any credit really regardless of how 'good' a thing turns out.

Plus, even the good things in life fade after a while.

Anybody remember without looking it up who won 'Best Picture in 2003'?  Yeah, me neither.

Anybody remember who had America's biggest church in 1903?  

See my point?

Think your kids are gonna' remember you?  Think the people (actual people) your life impacted in some kind of way (positive or negative) are going to remember you?

Bet your butt.

So I'm thinking--these days--that we focus on two things.

Jesus.

people.

We love Jesus 'cause He's worthy of it.  We serve and worship Him 'cause He's God and deserves it.  We surrender our lives to Him 'cause He saved us and our lives are no longer our own.  We live for His glory 'cause that's why we exist and in so doing we'll find the greatest access to joy there is in the known universe.

We love and honor and 'work with' people.  We focus on their needs, their desires, what makes them tick, what ticks them off (avoiding those things) what inspires and drives them and seek to work in such a way that we serve them.

Yes, 'servant leadership' as the answer to 'making it in Hollywood'.  You heard it here folks.

"But won't people take advantage of me?"

Well, maybe.  But your life is not your own anyway so who really cares?  Also, you can't really control anything, so stop trying and stop worrying about it.  All you can do is what you can do. You can't do a thing more.

And even if they fleece you for a million bucks (and how likely is that?) d'you think anyone's gonna' remember that in a hundred years?  F'dang sure they'll remember your hit film or moving TV series or wonderful play or incandescent album or well-adjusted family or socially-redemptive corporation or life-giving church or body of artistic work or the faithful way you loved those around you.

The a**hole who stole from you will be long forgotten and his ill-gotten gain will have perished with him and he'll have the Judge to answer to bucko'.

What lasts can neither be built nor destroyed by hands.  It's built in faith and lives, moves, and has its being as a result of mercy.

I wonder if we just started doing what we've been made to do--with all our warts and weaknesses--and stopped striving for what we 'think' we want or need, if we might find ourselves much more at peace with life and work and the people who are sending us emails.

Just wondering.

T

more signs...

Yes, that would be a new iPhone on my desk.

A new tool for my work.  A new bauble for my workspace.

The reason it's significant is 'cause I'm emphatically NOT a tech-head.  I'm a very late-adopter when it comes to tech and new tech in particular.  The reason?  I tend to prefer to spend my time thinking about story.  Story for screen and story for pulpit.  Any time I don't spend thinking about story I spend thinking about, then working on, ways to get those stories told. Any time I don't spend doing that, I wrestle my kids or chase my wife.

That's my life.

Naturally, all that thinking and action follows my life of devotion to Jesus, my wife and my kids.

So I don't have much time to mess around with unnecessary things.

Like iPhones.

The only reason I went and got it is 1) I missed a call with the William Morris Endeavor agency last week because I got stuck in traffic and had no cell phone. 2) I'm planting a church and people need to be able to reach 'somebody' at the Church and for the first while (two years at least) that somebody is going to be me.

So, cellphone.

"What, you mean all this time, all these years in show business and church planting and you haven't had a cell phone?"

Well, not exactly.  By times over the years I've had months where I've racked up thousands of dollars in cell bills.  That was early on in 'cell world' when it was still prohibitively expensive.  I had a cell glued to my hip all the time and as I got older, and added kids therefore erasing expendable income, I began to ask myself if it was really necessary.

At the first church I planted I had a cell phone and needed it for the first three years.  But in the final two years--when the church started reaching a fairly healthy size--I had other people working with me that could receive calls.  More and more I didn't need--or want--to be reached constantly.

Then, 2006-May 2009 we endured some serious financial strain and the last thing we needed was a cell bill.  So I basically stopped using mine. And from 2000-2009 I was a paper day timer guy.  I still have the hardcopies sitting next to me.

This year, things have started accelerating in strange new ways.  I've had four or five high-level conference calls with Hollywood in the past couple weeks, am working on two very interesting projects right now, while gestating another two, plus (while planting this church) I'm trying to meet with every pastor in my city.  That means, you guessed it, my iCal is getting fuller and fuller.

It's been tough to migrate from paper to digital but I've been slowly doing it.

Since last year I've been talking with my wife about getting an iPhone.  I knew it was inevitable but I really wanted to put it off 'till the last moment.

The past couple weeks my schedule has started getting away from me so it was paper day timer time or digital, no more waffling.

So, I up and got an iPhone.  What's cool about it is my wife loves it.  We used its GPS function to guide us to a new beach on the weekend and I'm re-learning the discipline of tucking it in my pocket before I leave the house.

If THE WELL is going to be your church you can even call me (or better yet, text me, 905.320.2127)

What's most significant about this is the symbolism of it all.  It's yet one more tangible symbol that THE WELL is actually happening and that my life in Hollywood is continuing to progress.

I was saying to Niki (my wife) last night that I feel a strange calmness attached to our life these days.  Sure there's lots of uncertainty and many things to be figured out, processed and acted on, but I feel like there's a momentum that's arrived and that--to some degree--we just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Remember that--in your life also--there will be distinct 'tangible signs of progress' popping up all over.  Be sure not to miss them.  They'll encourage you that you're going somewhere and exhort you to keep going.

You do--after all--have a cell bill coming that you gotta' find a way to pay, no?

T 

it's so ghetto...

I love how pathetic-looking this sketch is.

I did it to explain to my business partner how I thought some potential black backdrop pieces--that need to be custom ordered--might work for use at THE WELL.

I've been working on a quote for a screen that'll be 11 x 6 feet (16:9 ratio--'cause we're film people dag-nabbit!) so that leaves roughly 43 feet or 22.5 feet per side (the room is 54 x 54) to cover in blacks.

I was writing the email and figured I'd just sketch the thing, scan it and send it to him.

This freaks me out a little to admit but I often find myself thinking these days, as I pursue various new ventures in film/TV and church planting, that almost none of what I do in a typical day would be possible without the internet.

Today I skype conferenced with my senior editor and his newest assistant (bringing the total to six editors working on this one series) in our Vancouver post-production space to talk him through the web editing side of the enterprise while all three of us simultaneously worked on the back-end engine of the site learning as we went.  Then a couple questions came up and we emailed the questions out while we skyped and IM'd url's and phone numbers back and forth at the same time.

It's astounding to me what we can do these days.

Then I hopped online to preview a screen, found one in Vancouver but dug a little deeper and found one right here in our hometown AND they've got a projector that'll work for HALF of what we were expecting.

Add to that some old fashioned connecting where I sat down with the lead pastor from one of the areas fastest growing churches--just to meet him and pick his brain a bit--and he ended up saying that they might be willing to help us out with our screen and projector, so I rushed home, emailed him and started looking for numbers keeping him apprised the whole time via email.

I'm continually struck by how much easier this church plant is--on the tactical/functional level--than it was last time.  I mean, I shudder when I remember what we spent on 'branding' and our website last time.  It's really a sick, disgusting number.  I didn't know enough at the time to know we were being taken to the cleaners.  Man, it's good to have aged and to have suffered some and learned some.

The day we launched the site we had 300 uniques--and I realize those are small numbers by any stretch--but that's 300 people who are interested enough in THE WELL to check it out.  Sure I don't know how many of them will end up local (or show up) but I was encouraged nonetheless.

Naturally at the end of the day it comes down to personal vision, ingenuity and passion.  You still have to do the work required to see your dream come true but, man, if we don't have some wonderful tools at our disposal that weren't a reality even ten years ago.

Pretty cool.

T

good times...

Nice moment there.

I drove my bicycle seven or eight KM's there for a meeting with the director and facilities manager.  Where's 'there'? 

Well, it's the Burlington 'Music Center', home to Canada's largest (if you can believe it) 'rehearsal hall'.  It's also home to the Burlington 'Teen Tour Band' a World renowned marching band.

It also seats 200 easy and the director told me he thinks I can get 300 in there if I really squeeze 'em in.  It's also cheap as all get out and right in the central library complex in our town which means it's loaded with parking.

It doesn't look amazing but today was a big step towards helping that side of things out.

See, it looks like they're going to let us 1) put up BIG signage (branded for THE WELL and connected to each monthly sermon series) 2) hang a screen and projector permanently (they're happy to use it) and 3) hang eight par cans and four source 4's permanently as well.

I can't even begin to say how awesome this is.

Set up and tear down is one of the toughest parts of getting a new church off the ground.  The more work you can eliminate the better off you're going to be to start.  So, to be able to come in, pull down the screen turn 'on' the projector on, set up some blacks beside it and 'go' is going to be unbelievable. 

Yes, they will set the chairs up for us.

It's amazing.  It's one of those things that was miraculously 'provided' for us and that's deeply comforting.  The way that happened was we did the work we always do, checking place after place after place getting rejected all the while but doing our best to stay full of hope and high spirits.  Then, just as we were starting to feel like this might be another 'brick wall' we decided to re-call all the places we'd started with and this one just popped up.

"Sure we'd love to have you..."

And it looks like the rest is going to be history.

Just wanted to encourage you to keep pushing 'cause sometimes good things start happening.

And, if you're around come September, bring a bag lunch so you can lie under the tree I was lying under today after one of our first few services at...

THE WELL.

Crazy.

T

one step at a time...

Going to do this right now.

Sign a contract for the 'launch location' for our new church, THE WELL.

Pretty freaked out about it.  Not 'cause I don't want to do it but simply because it officially puts into motion a whole chain of events that's going to change my life--and the life of my family--and potentially the lives of many other people dramatically.

And that's not something to take lightly.

I've found that my ethic--when it comes to figuring out your dreams--is to dream them, think about them, talk about them, think about them (and 'think' is synonymous with 'pray' in my life) start working on them, start figuring out if you've got momentum, start hinting at them publicly while pushing 'em forward, keep looking for momentum, start taking concrete steps while talking more broadly about it, pull the trigger.

Then hang on.

I'm about to take the 'pull the trigger' step and it's got my chest tight and my digestive system disturbed.

Exciting though.

As I always say (and I know, 'cause I've done it) it sure beats (for me) working in a factory.

T

this is a big one...

Momentous post.  Life changing.

Big moment.  You're looking at a shot of the landing page for our new church, THE WELL, coming to Burlington, ON, Canada this fall.

This is a really big deal.  I have the runs (TMI, I know...) because of it.  See, I've done this before--planted a church--and I'm not saying that to assert any kind of know-it-all-ness but rather in order to simply state that I know we're about to get our butts kicked.

All over Halton Region.

See, church planting, is playing for keeps.  You don't just 'start' one of these and walk.  My last church, which we planted in Janauary 2001 from which we retired January 2006, still haunts my dreams.  No joke.  I dream about them regularly.  Care deeply for them.  Pray that all will be well with them and that they--led by their leaders and the Holy Spirit--will see things through and persevere.

Five years there, at least a year and a half getting it ready and we left too soon.  This time, with THE WELL, I'll be damned if I leave it, at all, let alone early.  We're playing for keeps this time.

And I feel ready in a way that I didn't ten years ago.

I was 25 in 1998, had just launched my TV production firm, having resigned my job as a 'youth-church-planting youth pastor' and was trying to plant a second youth-church at a distance with our friends who had moved to Florida to take point while Niki and I did TV and drove south for two weeks out of every eight to help.

That thing tanked.

And that led us to try again, this time independently, with what would become 'Freedomize Toronto'.  Problem was we were too young.  Too young to know better (or much at all).  Too young to be humble.  Too young to be wise.  Too young to have suffered much.  Too young to know what was coming.

That thing grew--and is thriving today.

But, man, if you knew the stories that cropped up along the way you'd--with me--agree that we're all fools and Jesus builds His Church not through us but mostly in-spite of us.  Yes He uses us--and the people He brings us--but man do we ever make a mess of it.

My hope is that, this time, being 35, father of four, husband of 13 years and counting (and happily so) failure many times over, arrogant know-it-all laid low, sinner, idolater brought to his knees and his senses, preacher sidelined and brought out of retirement, entrepreneur despised by many in authority, leader followed by some and hated by many, son, brother, wanderer, visionary who talks too much and too soon, tough-minded stubborn donkey (as my business partner calls me) a lover of Jesus and a fool who's surrendered at last, will help me do a slightly better job.

For the sake of His glory and His people.

And it's not really my job to do but I do have tasks to perform and responsibilities to execute.

I'm sober.  I'm a little scared but not nearly as much as I used to be.  I'm eager.  I'm stressed but certain things will work themselves out as they always have a tendency to do.  I'm juggling what I do (and how) with the way the books will tell you it ought to be done all the while trying to listen to Jesus and find my way forward.

As He leads.

THE WELL.  A new church I'm already falling in love with.  Coming to Burlington--my home town--this fall.

(happy to be able to say this...)

Watch the site for details.

T

not-so-much fun in-process...

That first image is courtesy of a large church in texas.  I was checking out some of their structure, their teaching and worship style (cyber-stalking is a KEY part of figuring out what 'to' and 'not to' do when it comes to planting a church yourself...) and came across this piece.  I sent it to some of my guys saying, 'Yo', this type of approach to 'brand' is dope...'  That'd be the bar--as far as I'm concerned when it comes to THE WELL.

This one is 'the bar' in terms of what I'd like our setting to look/feel like someday.  The space it looks like we're going to be in to start is sort of a 'theater in the round' type space and--since it looks like a 1950's union hall--we're going to have to work very hard with drapery and projection (with all but no $'s to start) to make it look cool-ish.

What I like about this space is the focal points.  I imagine the foreground, in and amongst the chairs, is where the speaking would take place and the 'band' would fill the space almost directly under the curtains.  Eventually the black space to the upper left and right would be filled with a central screen on each side.

A guy can hope.

And the point is that if you're not hoping for something you'll get nothing.  Right?  See, you have to 'see' something in your mind's eye before you can start walking towards it.  If you don't have a dream you have nowhere to start.

Many times (and I deal with this personally as many of the people closest to me are not optimist/dreamer types but rather pessimist/practical types) you'll face negative feedback when you dare to dream.  

And some caution is warranted.  Many times in my life (when younger especially) I would pitch grand dreams or schemes that would never end up coming about leaving me with more of a 'talker' reputation than you'd choose if you could.

I remember dealing with a tension back then that's still with me now.  That tension has to do with 1) how you manage to keep dreaming big dreams when people are giving you a hard time (sometimes justifiably) about it and 2) how you 'undersell' those dreams in the short term so that you don't come off all sizzle and no steak while still keeping enough 'excitement' to the dream proclaimed that people are motivated to act.

It's tough.

I know that for me personally I can't live without dreaming.  I'm always thinking ahead.  The challenge for me is to learn (and keep learning) how to 'stay' in one place doing one (or two or three) thing well long enough that your dreams can become reality--understanding that the end-result often looks 'in reality' almost nothing like it did in your imagination.

I don't want to disappoint.  I want to inspire.

Some days (like today) I feel really stuck between the two and that's part of this job (the job of imagination made real...) that I find tough by times.

Maybe you do to.

I'd love to hear how you find a way to keep at it when the tensions are getting you down.

T

the context of a thing...

Looking at it--taking it at face value--you'd think, "Cool, an orange rock, deposited on it's side on a black sand beach surrounded by plain rocks..."

Or something like that.

What you don't know is that I was on a walk.  In addition to walking I was thinking.  I was thinking about life, God, and the universe and the ways in which it all connects and the ways in which I can tell story (from pulpit or screen) that whispers to me and to you of that connection.

And I saw an orange rock.

It was lying in amongst several hundred others.  The water washing over it like all the rest.

Except that it was the only orange one.

Because of that, I picked it up.

Fascinated with it, wondering about it's history (was it once an orange boulder on the plains of Australasia?) I turned it over in my hand then bent to scratch my leg where a fly had bit me.

I saw the black sand.

I thought, "Man the orange would look cool against the black..."

So I found a spot, laid it on its side and took twenty or so shots to yield the one you see above.

"So what?" Say you.

Here's what.

That orange rock is like (for my church planting readers) the Gospel.  Left unexplained in a way that connects to the actual lives of your listeners that rock is just one rock among many.  Sure, there's something that makes it stand out, but left to their own devices--lest the Spirit draw them--there's a pretty big chance your listeners will pass it by.  

It's up to you to point it out in its context, tell it's story, and tell them why it's relevant to their story and the difference that rock is going to make.

Do you explain to your people why you do what you do and what that thing that you do (or things) is supposed to mean in the light of the Gospel?  Does it make sense to them?  Does it come alive?  Does it change their walk?

If not, you may have some work to do.

And for my screen-storytellers, that rock is the heart of your story.  The reason your script got written in the first place, the hook at the heart of it all, the theme.  Is it clear?  Can your audience 'feel' it all the way through, starting softly at the beginning then building as the film climaxes?  Does the theme matter?  Is it powerful enough to take them away for a time and show them a world that's possible?

If not, you may have some work to do.

I--for one--have to remember to keep reminding myself about the importance of context.  It's been said so often our ears have become hard but it's worth saying again...

The message never changes.  The culture does.  You must explain (and embody) the never-changing message (of Gospel, or story) in the context of your ever-changing culture.

You exegete scripture faithfully and apply it to culture.

You exegete culture effectively and apply it to story.

Or else you're (and this is for me) wasting everyone's time.

T

choose your own adventure...

Even a random pile of flotsam can look nice if you get your perspective right.

Right?

Life is what you make it.  Or, as I've been known to say, "choose your own adventure".

I realize there are some who would debate the theology with me.  Typically the more 'charismatic' you are the more paralyzed you are, meaning, you spend so much time trying to figure out, discern or 'receive' the 'perfect will of God' that you never actually 'do' anything.

Paralysis.

That'll kill a life man, lemme' tell ya'.

Here's what my Daddy taught me.  He said, "Look, when God's not talking to you (ie: not giving you any concrete direction) you talk to God.  You tell Him, 'Lord, you're my Father, You love me and I know I'm called according to Your purposes so I believe that You're working all things together for good for me.  I also know that anything that's not rooted in faith is ultimately rooted in sin so here's what I'm going to do, as unto You, and since You're my Father I trust you to lead me.  Whether I fail or succeed I trust you to work this out according to Your plan.  If I'm not supposed to do this I trust You to stop me.  So here I go..."

And then you leap.

Allow me to say that every time I've done this in my life (and it's been many times) I've either a) succeeded in the thing I set my mind to do or b) failed miserably, slamming myself into a Divinely-placed brick wall.

And I'm still here to talk about it.

The successes have given me momentum to keep building.  The failures have made me wiser and more compassionate.  

So I say 'go for it'.  Stop dithering.  Stop waiting.  Stop thinking that the 'perfect scenario' is going to magically appear.

When it comes to God we're not talking about magic.  We're talking about faith and trust and (pixie dust?)  the supernatural.

None of which you can control.

So before you go quitting or dithering take a look around you 'cause you just might be standing next to a pile of flotsam that's looking to be turned into something if only you can bring a new perspective to it.

Like your life.

T

it springs eternal...

How long do you keep hoping?

Long time I guess.

How long have those rocks been being caressed by that water as they lay upon that sand?

Long time I guess.

Why do I ask?

Well, I just sent a script to L.A.  It's my favorite of the seven or so scripts I've written.  It's also by far the most commercial and most likely to get the Hollywood set hot under the collar.

It comes complete with action figures McDonald's would love.

Yup', that kind of movie.

Anyway, it's been years since I first came up with the idea.  Years since I first wrote it.  Years that I've been continuing to try and find a way to find it a home.  'Course, you've heard me say it, I don't really believe we 'find' anything.

We're found.

But we keep walking while waiting don't we?  Ye'essiree.  

So, today I sent it out again.  Last year I almost had it set up with a production company with a 1st-look deal at one of the studios most-likely to make movies with McDonald's-ized action figures in 'em.  Then the writer's strike hit, then the recession.

You know how it goes.

But I still love the story, still think it's got legs, still think the studios will love it.

It's (as usual) just a matter of getting it read by the right person, assuming of course that you're not deluded and it actually is something someone's going to get hot and bothered about.

Point is.  

I sent it.  Just now.  To Los Angeles.  The town of dream-makers and dream-takers, risk-takers and wish-makers.

I wonder if they're gonna' like it?

I hope.

I spring eternal.

T

mini-break...

Love that shot.

I was surprised by it actually.  I was just shooting a bunch of shots this morning and thought I'd sit the camera on the edge of the canoe, looking up it towards the sky and see what happened.

"See what happened..."

That's the thing that stuck with me today.  See what happens.  Let it happen.  You never know what's going to happen.

So you keep doing your thing, one step at a time, day after day trying to keep your spirits up and trying to do your best.

Setting yourself up for lightning to strike.

Like that shot.

I'm still kind of in 'mini-break' mode so will keep this short.  Tomorrow I'm back at it again and I'll give you a little status update on my ridiculous 'to do list'.

Some exciting--and terribly sobering--things are happening.

And I'm hope for a miracle.

'Cause you never know what could happen...

T