Raising the bar...

Okay, so AVATAR is amazing.  Seriously, go see it.  If you've been hiding under a rock check it out HERE.

My homeboys and I had planned to catch the 9:40pm screening last night.  Showed up at 8:00pm (to be safe) for tickets and it was sold out. Had to wait for the 11pm.  Figured we'd show up an hour early to line up--again just to be safe--and when we got there at 10:10pm the lineup was already 200 feet long.

Theater was completely packed 40min prior to show time.

My quip on twitter joked about most of the members of the Director's Guild of America throwing down their membership cards in exasperation 'cause AVATAR is so intense it makes you depressed because the proverbial 'bar' just got raised to what seems--at first viewing--near impossible heights.

Then--in terms of making me borderline depressed--there's this book I've been reading...

And, the overarching sense you get from studying the life of Warren Buffett (the World's richest man, most years...) is that 1) he was totally committed to what he felt he was supposed to do with his life from an early age, in a way that you can't ever match, and 2) he was so committed that he didn't live anything near a 'normal' life, and that's a tough one for you to negotiate 'cause you want to do 'well' with your life but you (probably) also want to HAVE a life and it doesn't look like he did.

So, when faced with Giants like James Cameron or Warren Buffett, while possessed of dreams of achievement of some sort of your own, what do you do?

Do you throw your DGA card down and walk away?

Do you give up any dreams of investing and building a life 'cause you'll never measure up to Buffett's standards and walk away?

Or do you fight the encroaching despair and find a way to humbly 'do you' in a way that's faithful to your time, place, gift mix and calling?

Can you and I find a way to turn the onslaught that is the achievement of these two guys into inspiration that we can practically use and, that said, can we find the moxy to actually use it?

Those are the questions I'm facing today.

And now to work...

T

The season...

Well, put another Christmas season in the books.

T'was a little less hectic than some.  We had no snow.  Missed that.  Our kids enjoyed themselves, rocked out with recycled gifts from their cousins (great idea Niki) slept in 'till 8:00am Christmas day, were good as gold the night before at a Christmas Eve service.

Good times.

Today at THE WELL was a tough one.  Partly due to the classic 'post Christmas slump' most churches see (people are away or just so tired from the week they stay at home in their PJ's--and I totally 'get it' for whatever that's worth) and partly due to me re-preaching my sermon.

I remember swearing off 're-preaching' at one point during my last stint as a full-time preacher/church planter.  I felt like things just didn't 'gel' in the same way when you were coming to a text you'd prepped for another time and place.

With today's text ('The Simeon Sequence' from Luke 2:22-32) I had preached one of my favorite all-time sermons my last night in the pulpit at FT.  I felt like the exegetical work was solid and that re-doing it (from one of my favorite all-time NT passages) would be a waste of time.

So, I decided to re-preach.

And it wasn't great.

Felt like I was preaching uphill the whole way.  Didn't feel like I ever 'hit' the pocket.  Just felt like 'work' when usually--for me--it's work fired by inspiration in the moment as God partners with preacher.

Anyway, I've been bummed all day as a result.

The good thing is, I get to 'do better' next week.  I'll start a new series and will do my best to forget today's lackluster performance remembering all the while that a church is built over time, by God's grace, and not as an exclusive result of my preaching.

A lesson I've taken from this is that I need to remember that I've changed (and will continue changing) as a man, as a writer as a preacher and as a pilgrim.  The points that jump out to me today (as worthy of being preached) reflect those changes.  Also, my context is different today than it was five years ago. Whereas FT was a city church full of hipster twenty-something city-folk, THE WELL is a suburban church filled with suburban folk inhabitants of a fairly conservative city.

I've been finding this a bit of a strain as I strive to stay true to who God has called/gifted me to be, while doing my best to try and 'hear' His word for these particular people in this particular place.

A challenge with church planting is that the church you're preaching to this week is--most likely--not going to look like the church you'll be preaching to five years from now but the church of tomorrow is connected to the church of today in tone, culture, vibe, presence, ethic and many other ways.

How to preach and lead well today with an eye to tomorrow while being faithful to who you've been gifted to be while not allowing yourself to calcify (as in: "This is who I am and I'm not moving.") is quite the trick.

Struggling with it a bit today.

T

In the beginning...

Just letting you know where my 'head's at' come January.

I'm working to get a new TV drama series set up and the whole 'Garden of Eden' thing figures heavily in the tapestry of the story.

At THE WELL I'll be preaching a four week series emphasizing the first key events in the book of Genesis (creation, our place in it all, the fall) as a primer for the year.

We had the above shot done for our promo campaign.  Chris shot it.  Pretty cool right?

Some might call it a bit racy for a church, but the underlying tensions beneath the comment spring right out of the book and fit exactly where I want to go thematically with the series.

If you're in the Burlington area come January you might want to come check us out.

We're really starting to grow now.  Just passed the '70' mark (adults and kids combined) and that's pretty cool.

On the film and TV side I'm expecting to have some pretty interesting news come Jan/Feb re: distribution for THE STORM and UNSCRIPTED plus some other new projects including a documentary feature, a Valentines special and maybe another new feature film.

I'll keep you posted.

Hope to see you some Sunday.

Peace and Merry Christmas...

T

A brief history...

Lost my dang mind this week at THE WELL.

I had a feeling it was going to happen.  While writing it I could feel 'The Presence' hovering like a cloud in my workspace.  It's just a feeling you get.  You 'feel' it.  You know that, if the Ghost falls during the preaching, it's going to bust out like..

NAPALM.

This is what stood behind me when I used to drop bombs at my first Church.

This is what I was seeing as the bombs dropped...

Except there were eventually two hundred mostly young adults out there soaking it in.

Good times.  Gracious days.

THE WELL started feeling a little bit like it used to for me this Sunday.  I could 'feel' the start of some of the things I used to feel.  I could 'sense' the mercy of God coming in a 'practical kind of way' that felt familiar to me from our past.

I've got history.  I'm a little older.  A little grayer.

Still a shouter.

A couple from our first Church came by a couple weeks ago:  "Glad to see, you haven't mellowed with age..."

Me, mellow?

My middle NAME is mellow.

(or something like it)

:)

T

Better than Daddy...

That's my eldest, doing one of his favorite things, reading.

He finished the book of Genesis (in an actual 'adult' Bible) yesterday and has moved on to Exodus today.

Waaayy ahead of where I was at his age.  I didn't really start devouring scripture 'till my early teens.  I told him, if he keeps this up, his 'Cantelon/Kerr preacher instincts' are going to kick in real early.

He smiled at that.

"Really Daddy?  Is that what our family is known for?"

Yeah, that's kinda' the main thing we do.

Last night, after work, while dinner was simmering I came up from my office and sat down on the couch to do my scripture reading.  It wasn't more than a couple seconds before Jordan materialized at my side, put his arm around my neck and started reading his Bible.  Two seconds later Sammie (the youngest son) shows up, perches himself on my lap (the left side, his favorite) and lays his head on my head while I read.

That's what they call 'modeling' or 'patterning' or 'how to ensure the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.'

And, it's worth noting, none of it is 'intentional'.  Kids just do what they see.

What are your kids seeing you do?

T

ps: this is my stone cold fox of a wife. She was there the same day I took the above shot of Jordan.  Figured I'd do the blog a favor and post some beauty...

Doin' work...

Thought some of you might enjoy seeing this.

I've been writing a lot about 'writing' recently.  Part of that is due to the work I've started doing on a new feature-length script.  It's been exciting to get back to flexing those particular muscles especially since, for the first time, I'm working with a writing partner which is proving to be quite fun.

In the midst of all that 'writing', today I sat down to start 'writing' my sermon for this Sunday at THE WELL, the new church I planted 13 weeks ago (together with my wife and four kids).

I'm preaching (of course) a Christmas series and this week I'm working from the prophecy Zechariah (the father of John the Baptizer) spouted the minute his tongue was loosed at the christening of his baby son.

It's a glorious passage.

As I was dissecting it I had to keep choking back the tears--and that's usually a good sign that the sermon (when rightly finished) is going to have some 'life' to it.

Figured I've been publishing charts and cards for our new screenplay, might as well publish the 'preliminary dissection' of this week's sermon.

Would love to see you come out and join us this Sunday to hear how the writing comes together--or (if you're one of my many international readers) you can podcast it.

I'm discovering hope in the process and my hope is that you will too.

T

re-productive...

That's me, hard at work last year in our downtown Vancouver studio, shooting one of our TV series.

Here's the point.

That series is no longer running.  There's two ways to look at that.  The one way calls it a 'failure' 'cause you didn't get a ten year run out of it.  If you think that way you start feeling like all the effort that went into it (and believe me, there was a lot of effort involved...) was a waste. The other way is to remember it as a building block, a step forward, a means to provide for your family and keep learning and giving and growing.  If you think that way you continue feeling like no effort is every truly wasted and you feel encouraged by what that experience was setting you up for in your future.

You might need to remember that with your day today and your life in general.

No effort is ever truly wasted.

You move things with your effort and, once moved, those things have been moved which means you've changed things.

Change is good.

Change makes more change.

And, so long as you keep trying, I think you'll find that the trying you've done impacts the trying you're doing.

In a good way.

T

Celebrating every win...

They say, that in church planting, you should celebrate EVERY win.

I think the principle holds true in any entrepreneurial endeavor.  Starting anything from scratch--trying to build something from nothing--is about the hardest thing you can imagine doing.

I have several friends who've built companies from nothing.  Every single one of them is highly imaginative, tenacious, hard-working, tough and passionate.  Each one had to deal with significant stresses on their way to getting established.  Now that each of their enterprises are well over the million dollar per year mark (as small business) they continue to have to leverage their afore-mentioned skills and work ethic to keep pursuing the dream.

Same deal with Church.

When I planted my first church, back in 2001, I became friends with several other guys who were planting at the same time.  Lemme' name a few of 'em and contrast 'where they were then' with 'where they are now'.

Mark.  Then, 250-300 people. Now, 10,000+.

Darren.  Then, 15 people. Now, 3,000+.

Ethan.  Then, 35 people. Now, 350+.

David.  Then, 80 people.  Now, 800+.

And I'm here to tell you, from knowing them and watching their work, they celebrated EVERY WIN along the way.

Like our (very small and humble) 'win' today.

Today, THE WELL passed 50 people per week in regular attendance.  One the one hand it's such a small number that I laugh as I write it.  On the other, I know that it takes the average church more than four years to pass 100 in regular attendance so I'm encouraged by our pace 13 weeks in.  Also, 13 weeks ago THE WELL didn't exist.  Today, it exists in the hearts and minds of 50 people--people who have been invited exclusively by word or mouth.

And if we had six people (my family) when we started, and have 50 today who are beginning to 'own' this little dream, I feel very encouraged as to where we might be 13 weeks from today.

So, to celebrate todays 'win' I went out and bought an ice cream cake (my kids favorite) and we're going to eat it now, to celebrate God's goodness and His mercy to us.

Teaching them to love the journey and dream their own impossible dreams some day.

Happy 50th everybody.

T

A movie in sixty cards...

So there you go.

(evidence of 'work accomplished' today)

Sixty cards.  Each one is roughly equivalent to two minutes of action.  Each one roughly represents 'a scene'.  Sixty X two = 120 minutes or your average two-hour feature film.  In reality I'll probably end up writing from fewer cards 'cause 60 cards will equal out to a 130 page script and 110-115 is much better.

What was fun was how quick it came together.  Part of that has to do with finding a concept that 'resonates', one that has meaning for you and that exists in a story world that you understand intuitively.  That's certainly the case with this story.

The other reason things went quickly is because I was working with a writing partner.  It's the first time I've ever done that and, man, did it ever make things easier.  Just being able to talk things out, work your way through bad ideas or creative blockages (at one point we mixed ourselves a fairly stiff drink just to take the edge off...) was totally refreshing.

So, there you go.  Another step in the right direction.

Next, I'll write what's called a 'beat sheet' where I'll take each card and write a long paragraph expanding on it.  Once I've done that with all 60 cards I should end up with between 40 and 50 pages of what amounts to a 'beat by beat' treatment of the film.

We'll then workshop that beat sheet ourselves until we're happy with it then we'll start 'telling the story' from the beat sheet to various audiences, starting with our wives (typically a VERY tough audience) and expanding out from there.

We'll take notes related to the comments we get as we read the story then will circle back to our cards, change or update 'em as needed, then write a second draft of the 'beat sheet' which we'll, again, take out for scrutiny.  Assuming that second draft requires only a few minor 'tweaks' we'll do those then I'll write the script from the beat sheet, just working my way through it scene by scene.

Movie-magic.  In-process.

T

'Bout time too...

So I've started (and I do mean JUST started) writing another movie.

I'm working with a friend of mine who's a great DP/Director/Producer.  My hope is that we'll end up co-directing this thing.

It'll be a small-ish drama, probably set in the mid 1970's dealing in subject matter that is connected to both of our family histories.  

Yesterday we spent two hours at Starbucks outlining the story using Syd Field's classic 'paradigm'.  I realize that--for those of you with more experience--the paradigm might seem a little juvenile or 'paint by numbers' but I've found it to be very helpful as a first step to structuring your story.

Today, I'll do a very simple scene breakdown and then we're going to meet--around 12:30pm--to start doing cards.  We'll take 50-60 3 X 5 'cue cards' and write a scene on each card.  My friend has a real big kitchen table so we'll lay the cards out on the table one by one until we've got the whole movie there.  We'll look at it, change it some, throw some cards out, add some news ones, rearrange things a dozen times or so until we end up with a structure that we like.

From there, we'll sit on it for a few days, talk about it with our wives, with our executive producer, with our parents (both sets are quite story-savvy) with some friends then we'll get back together to make some adjustments.

After that, I'll chain myself to my desk for a week and spit out a VERY ROUGH first draft.

That's my December.

1st draft done before Christmas.

How's that sound?

Lemme' see if I can do it.

Keep you posted.

T

Preacher, Producer, Poop-cleaner...

It looked like it was going to just be another lovely day at our new church.  I drove to our location with my boys in-tow (they're the only 'paid' employees the church has right now at $2/week to help us set up and tear down...).  I pulled up to set the first sign at the main intersection leading into our parking area and saw the image above.  Beautiful sun lighting the way.  Had to take a shot.

Then, I got to work.  We removed all the music stands (we use a rehearsal hall as our 'sanctuary') moved all the chairs (84 of 'em at this point) into position then, right before we started with all the sound gear I figured I'd pop downstairs to use the bathroom.  As soon as I walked in I could smell it.  Someone had been there before me.  It smelled so bad that I got that sinking feeling--oh man, somebody dealt it and left it.  So, I checked the stalls.  Sure enough, one of 'em looked like a Grizzly Bear had snuck in, dumped its load, and bailed out before it could get caught.  I mean, it seemed incomprehensible that something of that SIZE could have come out of a human.  "Note to self..." I thought, "Check to see who's LIMPING and you'll know who did this."

(what do these people EAT?  Can I make a suggestion?  'BRAN FLAKES')

'Cause, seriously, you do something like that and LEAVE IT?  What kind of person does that? You KNOW that someone else is going to have to deal with it and you're leaving it for them to do just that.  It's so disrespectful it boggles the mind.

(I'm wondering if that Grizzly will read this and be mad at me for calling them out.  "Hey Grizzly!  I'm mad at YOU for making me deal with YOUR POO!")

'Cause that's what I was going to have to do.  I am, after all, 'The Pastor' and we don't have a janitor yet and if I didn't deal with it I was only going to have myself to blame if we had a new person join us at Church this week then leave 'cause, when they hit the john before service, they found GRIZZLY POOP left to rot in the bathroom and got a--justifiably--poor first impression of us 'causing them to never come back to THE WELL again.

So, I walked back upstairs, found an old drum stick in the garbage an prepared myself for the worst.

(be warned, the image you're about to see is rated 'N' for NASTY...)

Yes, two peaces of POOP the size of small bricks.  I can STILL smell it.

Of course I tried to flush 'em down!  The water swirled around, doing it's best and the Grizzly Poop just laughed at it.  

I was definitely going to have to break them apart.

You wouldn't believe how hard it was--no pun intended.  I mean, it took me a good three minutes to break those suckers up.  Holding my breath, trying not to look but having to peak now and again to see if I was making any progress in reducing the GIANT PIECES OF POOP to a manageable size.

The moment of truth.  

Flush...

And, VICTORY!

No that drumstick is never going to see the light of day again.  

And I'm SO happy to be a church planter, TV/Film producer, and POOP-BREAKER-UPPER I just have to friggin' GRIN from ear to ear.

Seriously though, it was a very good lesson in humility.

Plant a church. Clean the toilets.

Then go PREACH your butt off.

T

three month update...

Are we having fun yet?

That's the question I've been asking myself for the past three months.  See, I've up and planted another church.  Here's my FIRST one.  They're rockin', have a great dude at the helm, have just moved into a new location, gone to two services and are set to grow like gangbusters this year if you ask me.

Planting again was near impossible. Took us almost four years to get up the guts.  I think, at the root, it's because planting a church means giving your life away. If you're anything like me (a freedom-loving, imaginatively-inclined guy) you dream of sailing away, seeing the World, embracing the far-horizon.

Planting and pastoring a church means staying put in one place for a very long time.  I think that, more than anything else, was 'the goads' we were kicking against.

And let me say, the first two months out of the gate at THE WELL my wife and I were freaking out. "What have we done?" was how we were feeling and what we were saying to each other. Had I just 'done' this in my own strength or was I really hearing God?  What would happen to my media career? Would everything stop cold? Would things continue?  What if things got busier?  Would I be able to keep up?  Would God bring us people to help us?

Would we come to love THE WELL?

It's hard to imagine loving another church like you did your first one. We still almost 'hurt' inside when we think of many of the people from our first church.  When we look back on their journey, on what God did in their lives through the work of that first church we still stand amazed.  We remember a room packed with 275 young adults, their hands and voices raised to Heaven, singing their hearts out in worship in the heart of downtown Toronto.

Great days.

How could it ever be that good again?

You really worry that it won't.  You worry that you've missed your chance, that you've blown it.

Then, all of sudden, in 'month three' your wee little suburban church plant starts showing signs of life.  New people start coming. People start crying during the sermons.  The worship starts getting some electricity (by the Spirit) to it. Your offerings start growing.  You feel momentum shifting. 

And you and your wife stop freaking out.  You stop feeling trapped.  You start feeling excited, start looking forward to next Sunday.

God starts working.

"What, even here?  Even now?  After all this?  Could it be?"

Well, yes it could.

Check out the 'official' three month update here.

And pray for us when you think of it.

(and thanks for that, by the way...)

T

ps: and the picture off the top is to remind me what 'evangelistic fervor' looks like. That was a sign my kids spontaneously made Halloween night after doing their rounds.  They wanted to share their bounty with their city--kind of like what we want to do at THE WELL.

lay them bricks...

I've been getting some unusually strong response to one of my recent sermons.

Specifically, the content has to do with finding a way to be happy in your vocation.

If you're one of my readers who has absolutely no 'faith-oriented' inclination then this link isn't for you as it'll take you to a 'sermon' with all of the bias, assumption and cultural enmeshedness that you'd expect of that type of thing.

However, if you know you won't be turned off by all the "Jesus" in it, (or are feeling unusually intrigued by 'them christians' today) then you might find it helpful, specifically if your JOB is getting you down lately.

My hope is help inspire you to 'keep at it'.

Best,

T

300...

That's my Grandma in there.

Well, not my Grandma, but her body.  See the note stuck in the middle?  That's from one of her 25 great-grandkids.  "We love you Grandma! Can't wait to see you again..."

That kind of note.

A note full of hope.

Like her funeral.  Like her life.

Hope.

I'm wondering if there's hope in your life these days?  How are things going? Are you sensing stagnation or momentum in your life and work?

It's funny, for me, things have been a bit of a grind the last three months.  Part of that has had to do with getting ready to launch, and actually launching THE WELL our second 'from-scratch' church plant. Part of it is connected to coming to the end of our producing year which always means a 'gee, so what do you think is next for us..." moment or two.

(the joys of independent production)

Part of it has to do with a wife who is getting more and more invested in her career which is a great thing and is changing the rhythms of life for us a bit and that--as it always does--takes some adjusting.

But I thought I'd mention that I do feel a sense of momentum.  This past Sunday at THE WELL I could just 'feel' it.  It's not that there was any tangible thing that happened to put my sense of things into that 'positive' zone--well, we did have six new people, which was cool and (at the same time) illustrates how tiny we are at the moment where six are noticed and cheered--it's just that things 'felt' different to me.

Momentum.

You can feel it, and the lack of it.

Thing is, I don't know of any foolproof way to generate momentum.  I mean, sure, I know how to work and keep working.  I know how to 'make myself available' but I also know that I'm absolutely unable to conjure it (momentum) out of thin air.

So I've found that the trick is simply to survive long enough for it to find you.

We're eleven weeks into THE WELL.  I'm ten years into my media career.  I'm thirteen years into my marriage, ten years into being a Dad.  I've followed Jesus for twenty four years, have lived for thirty five.

Momentum.

I'm feeling a little bit of it.

I had dinner with the very high-powered President of a major corporation a couple months back.  He's mid-forties.  We got talking about my life and career.  He said, "You're 35?  Then you're right on-track.  Just watch, the next ten years of your life are where your revenue-generating capability will catch up with all the work you've done the past fifteen years."

Here's hoping.

I mean, he should know, but you never know.

All the above to say this.

I think I'll just keep trekking.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Waiting for momentum and living my life well (like Grandma did) in the meantime.

You too?

T

The me I used to be on TV...

That's 'season five' of FREETV you're looking at right there.

Shot in a TINY studio downtown Toronto, cast with mostly friends and friends of friends 'cause we couldn't afford to do any different.  Set with borrowed furniture from EQ3 and Pier 1 that we had to handle with kid gloves to the point that, at the end of our last day's shooting, my Executive Producer was tasked with the very non-executive-like task of 'pledge-ing' the crap out of the tables to try and eliminate the scratches so that we wouldn't be charged for the tables upon their return.

Glamorous.

Not at all.

A little different from where we are today, and yet, today still feels no different in its own 'moment'.  We're still doing things we don't really want to do, still stressing about the budget, though by this point it's more than fifty times what it was then.

Progress.

Maybe, but mostly small.

The thing is, we're still at it.  We started producing 'season one' of that same show back in 1998. That's a million years ago, but we're still at it, hoping to get fifty times bigger still.

Crazy, humbling, overwhelming and exciting.

T

From Grandma...

My Grandma died this week.

She was 101.

It was time.

Monday I helped my Mom move Grandma (or her stuff) out of her last place.

Two trolley's worth was all that was left.  One above, and one below.

Her last address.  A special photo of her and my grandpa from their younger days.

Her last bed. The room all cleared out, ready for the next grandma.

How we'll remember them.  Mom noted that it's appropriate that the photograph of her and grandpa (the original photograph from which many copies have been made) is starting to fade.

Poetic.

That's how I'd describe her life.

Poetic.

She was a wonderful woman.  Kind, gentle, wise.  Loved her husband and her kids.  Made a huge impact on many lives.

Grandma.

And, you know, as Mom and I moved Granda's stuff out I got to thinking about you and me and about the fact that we're going to go someday too.  

And you might have more than two trolley's worth left but really what you'll have left is your family and your friends and their family and friends and offspring--the people you impacted with your kindness, your gentleness and your accumulated wisdom.

As I packed up her meager belongings I kept thinking about the richness of life she left behind in her kids and her grandkids and her great-grandkids.

And that reminded me to live my life in such a way that it's not the things I leave behind but the people, and what I've invested into their lives.

'Course, if you live your life right, you leave so much behind that nobody would be able to handle the trolleys.

And that'd be a life well-lived.

Like my Grandma's.

Love you K.

T

Up to no good...

I know I've mentioned it a few times but, for those of you who have some passing interest in the work I do on the 'media side' of things, I thought I'd link to an article that ran a couple months back on UNSCRIPTED one of the things I'm currently producing...

Enjoy.

T

What's your point?

I use cue cards for everything.

Grocery lists for shopping.  Story points for screenplays.  Blocking diagrams for directing.  Or to make sure I've made my point when preaching.

That there card is 'the point' of what I'm going to try and do tomorrow as I step up to preach at THE WELL.

Thought you might like to read it and/or pop by to see us in-person or peep the podcast when it's uploaded Sunday night.

'Cause--at the end of it all--all of this is for you.

T

At work...

Thought some of you might get a kick out of these.

I'd mentioned my recent trip to Vegas a couple posts ago.  Well, the two shots below were taken 'on set' out in the Nevada wilderness about an hour from Vegas.

My DP/Director friend, Chris Stacey,  shot on Canon's 5D off an 18 foot jib.  The light was all-natural.

I always remember to tell myself, when I'm having a bad day, that the kind of work I find myself doing these days sure beats temping at Pepsi back in 2000.

The special is called 'The Great Debate' and explores the finer points in the creation vs evolution debate.  You can catch it November 23rd, 2009 on VisionTV.

Wait 'till you see them shots...

T

Surviving...

Oh man, oh man, what I week I just had.

Two weeks.

Rewind with me to Sunday October 18th, 2009.

Dad's preaching, so that's cool.  I get to sit with my eldest boy in the front row, his head resting on my shoulder as he splits his time between reading and listening.  Three generations of Cantelon men in one spot under the preaching of God's Word.  Pretty cool.

Problem.

It's also my wife's birthday and she's NOT at all happy that, later that afternoon, I'm hopping a plane.

To fly to Las Vegas.

I arrive in Vegas, scout the town, study and write, hit the sack.  Next day I'm out in the blazing sun in the Nevada desert filming all day.  Dust, blazing sunshine, whirling wind.

Survive that.  Hit the town.  Miss the wife.

Fly home all day the next day.

Thursday/Friday/Saturday catch up, study for my shoot upcoming in L.A.  Make it up to my wife. Write a sermon.

Sunday Oct. 25th.  Preach my but off.

Next day, fly to Los Angeles--what--ten or eleven hours in-transit?  Awesome.

Oh--hang on a second--rewind to Friday the 24th.  I can feel myself getting sick, can feel it's going to be a bad one.

Monday, the 26th.  On the plane.  Sick as a DOG.  Eleven hours in-transit on a 100% full flight sitting next my photographer/DP/Director friend who's 6.4 and weighs 250.  Add that to my 6.1 215 and put us in adjoining seats and you can picture how comfortable THAT flight was.

Get to L.A.

Tension brewing.  Typical stuff at this level of the game but no fun all the same.

Wife calls--all four of my kids are getting sick.  Niki's not going to be able to come.

Rewind...

The week before, we'd booked her into L.A for Wed/Thurs/Fri.  She was going to come to see our set, meet our crew, and party with us on the last night as is our custom.  We were booked into two of the hottest Hotels in N. America, she was going to pimp out, chill by the pool, get spoiled.  Couldn't wait.  She hasn't left all four kids EVER.  That's a long ten years folks.

And now, she's not coming.

Weeping (and lots of it) ensues.

Tuesday, 11 interviews.  Tension brewing. So sick I don't even know what end is up.  Fake my way through it.

Wednesday, 11 interviews.  Tension increasing.  So sick I can barely tell what end is up.  Feeling better (much better) than yesterday but still.  

Wife is definitely NOT coming.  Kids are DEFINITELY sick--seriously so.  You can imagine my phone calls at this point.

Thursday, 12 interviews.  Tension hits boiling point.  Feeling much better.  Appetite's back. Wife's resigned to her fate.  Wrap.  Meeting (...) Dinner with our principals and out to dance for a bit (cool club with Macy Gray on open mic) then back to the pool/hot tub.  To bed by 4:30am.

Friday.  Up at 6:30am.  Yes, that's TWO HOURS SLEEP.

Awesome.

Take the house car to the airport.  That was fun.

Hop my flight.  Got a seat open next to me this time.  Close my eyes--sleep straight through for four hours.  Lord only knows who I drooled on.

Cleveland.  Connector flight.  Dissect my sermon.  That goes well.

Car.

Driving home.

11:30pm (14 hours in-transit) kiss the wife.

Sleep.

Saturday.  Stumble around.  Hang with my kids.  Sleep.  Write tomorrow's sermon.  Can't bring myself to double check the powerpoint.

Sunday, Nov 1st.  New screen and projector supposed to work.  Don't.  

Problem:

We don't figure it out 'till ten minutes before we're supposed to start.  End up with incomplete or non-existent power point for the service.  Start 15 minutes late.  You can imagine how that goes over.

Oh, and did I mention that our town is reeling under Swine Flu panic?  No joke.  Attendance is cut in HALF.

Full suckage.

(HOLY FRIGGIN' CRAP I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M BACK TO SQUARE ONE LIKE THIS!!!)

That's how I was feeling anyway.  Did my best to preach through it.

Felt like the bad old days when I was nineteen and just starting out and had no idea what I was doing.

Balls.

Sunday night.  Want to quit.

Monday.  Still want to quit.

Today, get the screen and projector working.  Finally.  Looks awesome.  As I'm sitting there with my worship leader watching the thing work for real I start getting excited, imagine it being re-installed in our final building someday with room for a thousand.

Alright.  We can do this.

Back to it.  Just tallied the attendance for our first eight weeks at THE WELL.  Figured I let you know how things are looking so you can see how humbling and nascent this aspect of my career is right about now.

Average attendance over the first eight weeks: 47/wk

Average giving over the first eight weeks: $645/wk

Hilarious right?

What's really funny is, those are pretty good numbers as far as Church plants go.  We were hoping to be averaging 60 people and $600/wk by December so we're pretty close to on-track. Also, if you look at things from the inside perspective, we've got a good group of people with us (6 or 7 solid families) and--with the exception of some worried looks last week, and fair enough I was worried too--they seem pretty 'into things' and have started showing tangible support.

We have every reason to be hopeful.

Plus, we got a nice shiny sign (up top) and a SMOKING hot screen.

Looking good.

(come see for yourself this week)

So far.

SDG

T

fervency...

I'm gonna' use this in my sermon tomorrow at THE WELL.

It's an example of 'evangelistic fervor'.

Courtesy of my kids.

It was Halloween night, they'd gotten back from their trick or treating and felt like they should JUST MAKE SURE that all the rest of the kids knew where it was at.

Our house.

We got candy.

And just in case you missed it, we got a sign.

Candy evangelists, that's my kids.

Point is, they LOVE Halloween, start planning for it a couple months in advance.  They love it so much they'll tell anyone they can about it.  They'll talk your ear off about it.

They'll put a sign on their house.

Do I love what I do that much?  The most important things in my life, do I believe in them so much that I'd put a sign on my door?

Challenging.

T

The importance of meetings...

I hate meetings.

Always have.

Used to lay on the floor with my ball cap over my head during staff meeting at the first church where I was a youth pastor.  Makes me smile thinking about it.  I must have been good at some part of the job for them to tolerate that kind of behavior.

Seriously?  You're going to lie on the ground with your ball cap over your eyes?  Really?

My rationale was--meetings made me so angry, and people can always tell how I'm feeling, it just oozes out of me, that for me to sit there seething was more offensive  than for me to do the aforementioned.

Hate 'em.

(meetings)

There's a difference though between meeting for meeting's sake and meeting 'cause your people need you to.

I've been accused of being a bad manager several times throughout my career.  I always reply in the affirmative.  "Yup, you're right.  I'm not a good manager. Guilty as charged..."  I never wanted to be a manager.  I'm an entrepreneur, a 'starter' a catalytic kind of guy.  In a war I'm the guy leading the charge out of the bunker.  Wanna' come?  We got some enemies to kill, some ground to take and a victory to make.

I'm a leader.  

That's a problem.  Why?  Well, you keep leading long enough and you'll end up with people following you.  Those people need to be managed along the way.

Crap.

I suck at management.

But I'm good at leadership so I keep ending up in this same position. 

Better learn to manage.

Here's something I'm learning.  A little communication can go a long way.  Like today, I did a conference call with our post-team on UNSCRIPTED.  Two guys in Vancouver, two in Toronto, my business partner in Welland and me at home in Burlington, all of us on skype.

Took thirty-two minutes.

Made all the difference.

Everyone feels 'heard', there's a chance to decompress and air concerns, a moment to hear each other's voices and take the emotional 'pulse' of the team.

In thirty two minutes.

I set up the first one because one of the guys on our team was freaking out last month. Communication was breaking down, jobs weren't getting done, details were slipping through the cracks.

All of it my fault 'cause I wasn't managing the process well.

But I'm a sucky manager right?

So, what to do?

Well, I took immediate action.  Called each of the guys involved that day.  Talked them down off the ledge, helped where I could, offered my assurances that I'd keep on it, reminded them to call me anytime and took the suggestion from one of 'em to book a conference call.

I booked it weekly.

A key leader suggested after the first one that we go to once every two weeks.  I took his suggestion.

Did the second one today.

And it's amazing to me how people just settle down when they feel like you're listening.  Sure, I work best with self-starters and I'd say most of our team are--which is why we've made it this far--but even self-starters need the guy running out of the bunker to keep his head on a swivel and ask, "YOU OKAY!!??" once in a while.

Point taken.

And, for you, this might also be applicable.  It's not like I've suddenly turned into a great manager.  I'm still a mushroom (re: the image above) and that means I'm never going to be a sprout or a clover or a blade of grass.  I'm a fungus, that's all I can say.  But, I'm a fungus who's learning from the other plants around him.  I'm not trying to turn myself into something I'm not.  I'm not trying to focus on my weaknesses, but am continuing to play to my strengths.

I'm just trying to be a talking fungus.

(I'ma fungin' kill that enemy though, watch...)

What's the thing you need to add to your arsenal?

Part of the problem is I'm shy.  Part of it is I'm lazy.  Part of it is I hate conflict.

Gotta' overcome all that and do what's needed.

'Cause, charge all you want, but if you don't got a platoon coming up behind you, you're going to find the enemy encampment a mighty lonely place.

T

Vegas...

Got back late last night.

Man, what a town.

Maybe 'town' isn't quite enough.  Maybe we should think of it as its own planet.  Or maybe one busy street in the midst of what feels like a dusty, sad town.

You go out at night and every block there are four or five Mexicans (no joke) slapping these cards in their hands, trying to get your attention.  The second they do, they reach out towards you, handing you something.

If you were to take what they were offering you'd find a stack of business cards with naked women on 'em and a phone number to call.  You call that number and that girl (supposedly) shows up at your location.

Vegas.

The ground is littered with thousands of those cards.

Any takers?

Me, I couldn't imagine anything less appealing.  Can you imagine?  I can't.  What in the hell kind of lonely person would take advantage of another lonely person like that?

Call me.  Pay me. F&$K me.

What kind of city is this?

I mean, it's full of people.  Like New York full.  All these people crammed into this one little strip of bright lights and tacky signs and casinos.

We came down the first morning (6:45am 'cause for us it was 9:45am) and the slots were already going.  I couldn't believe it.  The air was alive with smoke and the music was blaring and the flashing lights promised instant wealth.

Hated most of it.

Later that night hit 'Planet Hollywood'.  Liked that a bit more 'cause it targets a slightly younger crowd so is a bit (and just a bit) less tacky.  We watched a guy play roulette for a while. Stopped 'cause the girl running the table was real cute. We talked some. I kept reminding myself her smile was inviting money not friendship.

All these women, wandering around half-dressed trading away their assets for assets.

Shot one day in the desert.  Magnificent.  Couldn't get more of contrast from the strip to the red hills and black rock of the valley of fire.

And I was thinking 'The Valley of Fire', how appropriate.

Went out again our last night.  Hit the Wynn and the Encore.  Finally a spot my wife would like. Certainly younger and much hipper.  You should see the pool area.  Hit their newest club.

XS.

Good name.

Everything about it was.  Excessive.

$30 cover.  $15 per vodka red-bull. Excessively loud music.  Excessive decor. An eighty foot high by sixty wide archway opening from the dance floor out onto the pool deck.  Like something from the movies.

Girls.  

You can't believe the girls.  All ages.  From young twenties up into vivacious forties.  Dressed to kill.  Dressed to be hunted. Dressed for their lovers.  Dressed for the...

Dudes.

You don't like most of the dudes...hovering, waiting to move in, buying drinks hoping to leverage assets with their assets.  Most of 'em can't dance, are overdressed, wearing too much cologne and trying too hard.  Some are having fun.  Most are just frontin'.

The girls smile at me and my director friend.  "Yeah, I'm a producer, he's a director..." Best pick-up line ever.  Couple times a couple girls look like they want us to come over and dance with 'em.

We love our wives though.

(truly. madly. deeply)

Would be ripping up the floor if they were there.  So we dance a bit together.  He at 6.4 and 250 lbs me at 6.1 and 215 the only thing between us and the proverbial closet door.  There's this guy (late thirties easy) with an Eminem hairstyle and burgundy leisure suit (no kidding) and a gold chain vogue-ing next to the go-go dancer platform.  He's got a ten foot radius around him. People avoiding him 'cause he's weird.  Me 'n Chris kind of like him. 

At least he's authentic.

Over there a grandpa (no kidding) is dancing his a$$ off with a young blonde.  She could be his great grand-kid.  She's loving it though.  He's not coming off dirty, just wants to dance.  People are laughing, getting a kick out of this, forgetting they'll be old someday too.

Wonder if I'll have the balls to hit a club in my early eighties.

Probably not.

If my wife was there though...

Girls on the banquettes.  Stripper poles next to 'em so they can pretend for a while.  Would they be strippers if they could?

Of course not.

There's a guy trying to move in on two girls dancing together.  He tries to slide between 'em, they shift, closing him out, he shuffles, trying again.  They rotate, locking him out.  I can see their eyes as they roll 'em at each other, "Like, get this guy off of us..."  Bouncer's watching.

I want to fight him.  Just 'cause.

Music's great.  My wife would love this.  A couple of our 'couple friends' would too. Wanna' go dancin' T&D and K&N and S&J and C&C and S&C and R&J and T&J and J&E? I'd be dancing too. Gave up my Pentecostal uptightness years back.  Repented of it.  Asked my wife to forgive me for the self-righteous prick-ness that had defined me from 14-26.  

Didn't really get over it 'till a couple years ago, up at my friend's cottage where I partied for the first time in my life.

"What?  A pastor who parties?"

Yup.

Playing catch up these days.

If only my wife was with me.

It's no fun just standing around watching.  

Couple hookers over there with two plain rich guys.  You can always spot 'em.  The dudes look like they live in an office most of the time (all pasty and pale and trying too hard in clothes they think look 'cool') and the girls look like they're trying too hard; both in looks and in their interaction with the stiffs.

Hookers walk past us.  Real gorgeous up close.  I feel sad for 'em.  Wonder how they're feeling on the inside, wonder how calloused they've become.  Wonder if they'll ever have kids.  Wonder what they'd tell 'em about what they used to do. 

There's this cocktail waitress who's so gorgeous she could be a movie star. Like stop you in your tracks, punch you in the gut, take your breath away gorgeous.

Wow.

There's the two blondes again.  They'd been smiling at us on the dance floor an hour or so ago. We didn't bite.  They'd since found two dudes who did.  Dudes can't dance.  Trying too hard.

People are lonely.

People want love.

People want to let loose and have a little fun.

People gotta' make money.  Wanna' find a mate.

I want my wife.

Gotta' bring her back here, do a little dancin'.

In Vegas.

T

let the burgers teach you...

So, I just had lunch HERE.

Pretty dope spot.

Leaving the house, Niki asked me where I was going.  "To find Jesus..." said I.  "Where do you find Him?" asked our friend Kat.  "I'm not sure" said I.

But find Him I did.

At a burger joint.

Now--let me be clear--finding Jesus for me can/might be synonymous for you with finding your muse, or finding a way to get the creative juices flowing.

For me, all that, lives in Jesus and I needed to git me some.

Hit Home Depot, looking for a pair of fall gloves.  Can't beat $2.99 for black work gloves. Great for running at night, great for driving ('cause of the grippy black rubber on the front) and totally non-fussy.

I'm a dude.  I don't like 'fussy'.

Then I needed food.

Decided to hit South St.  Had only been there once before (with Niki) and we had a great experience.  Same deal this time.  Awesome veggie burger (I'm a dude...I eat veggie burgers) great poutine (can't beat NYF) and a chocolate shake worthy of the name.

Great.

And that got me thinking about being great.

Everything about South St. is great.  Great design, great concrete floors, great flow, great food, great service, great vibe.  The moment you think, 'Gee, I need to drop this in the garbage...' you realize there's a garbage right next to you.

They thought of everything.

And that challenged me.  Got me thinking about my new Church.  Got me thinking about my work as a producer/writer and sometime director.

"What is it, that can make what I do as good as what South St. does?"

"What can I learn from their attention to detail and follow through?"

Let's answer those questions:

The make burgers.  What's more common than that?  Almost nothing.  They deliver a product that's ubiquitous.  Same deal with Church and TV and Movies.  There are all kinds of Churches in my town.  TV and movies are everywhere.  What is it I can do to stand out?

"Burgers done well..."

Is their tag.

Church done well.  Movies done well.  TV done well.

What does that mean?  What would it look like for me to 'do well' at the things I've been given to do?

They've paid great attention to their environment.  They know it's mostly dudes who eat burgers.  Their store reflects that knowledge.  Concrete floors, square lines, simple textures, almost no color, no fussiness.  

Taking that into account, who's going to 'consume' my stories?  Who's going to want to come to my Church?  Am I constructing my stories/preaching with them in mind?  Does my Church--in it's construction--reflect my anticipated audience?

They've thought through the whole 'flow' from parking lot, to front door, to ordering, to eating to disposing of things.  I gotta' do me the same.

They gave out ice cream samplers.  Not one person refused a sampler.  Everybody loves ice cream and they know it.  As a result of my sample I ordered a shake on the way out.  They got me.  How can I translate that ethic to my show biz work?  How can I translate it to my Church?

HOW CAN I HOOK MY AUDIENCE?

How can you translate this to your context?

T

ps: Oh, and by the way, if you want to be reminded what it look like to drop hot shi-- and do your thing and bring your 'A' game, and rep your block and make the rest of us feel sick, hit THIS.

A little portraiture...

I thought I'd post this for you.

I often refer to my wife and four kids.

That's them.

Courtesy of a super-talented photographer/DOP/Director friend of mine.

If you've got a wedding coming up--he's your man, hands down.

I gotta' say, it seems like it was just yesterday that Niki and I were just newly dating.  Fast forward to today and those four lovely kids you're looking at seem to have 'appeared' out of nowhere.

A reminder to be really focused about your life--what you feel called to do and the way in which you apply yourself to 'the doing' of it--because it'll be racing past before you know it.

T

Sobering...

Couple quick things...

Last week we were in Kentucky, shooting some interviews for a TV special I'm currently producing on the whole 'Creation vs Evolution' debate that'll air November 23rd, 2009 on VisionTV.

On the way home we stopped by the National Air Force Museum just outside of Dayton Ohio.

And we saw 'Bockscar'...

"What's Bockscar?" you're asking.  Well, 'Bockscar' is THE actual B29 bomber that dropped the nuclear bomb on Nagasaki to, effectively, end World War II.

Right there...

Keep in mind, you're not looking at a reproduction, but at the REAL thing.  Take a second and scroll back up to the first picture.

The happy boxcar with angel wing flies (on tracks) from the lovely American city and drops a nuke on Nagasaki.

Everyone's happy.

I tell you, it made my blood run cold.

Now, far be it from me to stand in judgement.  Far be it from me to say whether Truman was right or wrong.  Lemme' just say...

It made my blood run cold.

I didn't know what to think, standing there looking at it.  I actually touched it, just to be a witness.  I reached out and touched the leading edge of the propellor on the outside left wing and...

It made my blood run cold.

I find it deeply sobering the things we humans can do to each other.

It makes me need an answer--a solution.

It makes me need to write, produce and direct (not always all three) stories that try to honestly make sense of it.  I makes me need to preach.

'Cause as I stand there looking at that abomination of a killing machine--all shiny and preserved for my kids to see--I'm thinking about all the graves that machine made.  All the widows and orphans that killing machine created.

And, yes, the Japanese and Germans and Russians and Canadians and British and French and Italians (etc. etc.) all dug their fair share of graves too.

I'm not looking to blame anyone--my grandpa fought in that war, and I 'kill' people with my thoughts every day--but I'm looking to testify.

That beast (the plane and all it stands for) must burn.

IT must perish from the earth.

Peace must come.  Peace must prevail.

Where can I find the 'Life and Peace forever' museum?  'Cause my kids would LOVE that place!

Anyone?  Anyone?

T

more of the same...

That'll be us tomorrow.  Another eight and a half hours on the road--in torrential rain I hear--headed north and home.

So SO tired today.

Was up at 6:00AM and on-set by seven.  Shot five in-depth interviews with leading scientists on the creation side of the 'creation/intelligent design/evolution' special I'm currently producing.  Shot one with an eminent--and rabble rousing (if you believe the reports)--atheist evolutionist last night.

Went well.

Spent the second half of today playing with my kids, swimming, grabbing lunch, hanging out etc.  This is the first time they've accompanied me on a short-term shoot.  I found it a bit more stressful than I expected.  Not 'cause of them but because I didn't know 'how' to do what I needed to do with them around.  I've got a pretty established rhythm when it comes to doing this kind of thing and I've never had to account for them being there on a short term shoot.  The uncertainty attached to this made me real grumpy the first day we were here but by the time I'd finished shooting last night I'd settled down, realized I can do this with them here, and stopped being grumpy.

Today was effortless.

The footage we shot is SPECTACULAR (shooting with a superbly talented DP/Director) and the content matches.  I think we might have something with this one.

We'll shoot two more interviews next week and fly to Vegas to shoot my stand-ups (as host) out in the desert with the red rock and cobalt blue sky.

While we were here our permanent screen and projector were installed at THE WELL so that should be fun this weekend.

Got my wife's birthday to plan this month and our next shoot in L.A for UNSCRIPTED.  And, on that front, I just found out this week that we may have a ratings hit on our hands.  So far UNSCRIPTED is doing better than anything the network has aired in our time slot in the past two years.  If we can grow another 10% we might be the highest rated show they've ever had in that time slot.

So, that might be cool.

Also reconnected with one of my oldest friends last night (via text on FB) and for that, I'm very thankful.

All in all, one of those good and productive weeks.

DOG tired though.

(that sounds SO 'Kentucky')

Gotta' get home.

T