hater-ation...

So it's like this.

I added a new 'hater' to my list today.

To be clear, this is not someone I hate, I don't think I've ever truly 'hated' anyone in my whole life. What I added today was another person who thinks poorly of me.

I have a long list.

I said to my wife on our walk this evening that at least no one will ever accuse me of inciting neutrality in anyone.

"Ha, ha!" said she.  "True enough."

The thing that got me about today's revelation was that I've met this new hater like two or three times max in my entire life.  He doesn't know me and I don't know him.  We know some of the same people but our interaction has been minimal at best.  And yet I find out that he's out there dragging my name through the mud, spreading a low opinion of my character and generally spreading hater-ation where yours truly is concerned.

Troubling.

Naturally, some might say, "Meh.  Just let it roll off.  Who cares what other people think about you?"  And I get that.  But here's the thing.  A core aspect of my belief-system has to do with cultivating a soft-hearted approach to life; staying open to criticism and correction and that's impossible to do if you cultivate a 'who cares?' approach in your interaction with others.

The downside of cultivating soft-heartedness (blessed are the meek) is that it leaves you more open to pain than you otherwise would be.

So when you find out that someone out there hates you, thinks you're a joke, a jerk, an arrogant bully, it hurts you for a bit.

It typically takes me about half an hour to get over the chest pain that accompanies discovering a new 'hater' and after the half-hour has past I spend the rest of that day--and some of the next-in contemplation of the hater's 'charge' making sure that there's no truth in it, and if there is, repenting of it and moving forward.  If there's nothing there that 'sticks' then you move on and let it roll off, one hater richer.

I guess I share this with you because there's a chance that you have haters.  I think it's simply true that the more 'less ordinary' your life is the higher the chances are that you'll accumulate a significant number of haters.

They'll hate you 'cause you're different.  They'll hate you 'cause you're focused.  They'll hate you 'cause you seem content or contained.  They'll hate you 'cause you succeed.  They'll hate you 'cause when you fail you don't give up.  They'll hate you 'cause of your passion.  They'll hate you for your singleminded demeanor.  They'll hate you for your mistakes.  They'll hate you for the things you get right.  They'll hate your belief.  They'll hate your convictions.

They'll hate you because you make them jealous or because your way of life convicts them of some 'lack' in theirs or simply because you stand out or refuse to bend to the things that have bent them.

Whatever.

My hope is that you find God's strength alive in your weakness.  My hope is that you can glory in being seen as foolish and ignore the 'judgment' of your peers and live for the judgment of your Maker.

Because ultimately you're not living for the haters but for the Lover of your soul.

T