where to dig...

I was listening to one of my old sermons yesterday.

I'm trying to listen to one a day--usually one day it's one of mine then the next it's one by either Matt Chandler or Mark Driscoll--as I prepare for what looks like a re-deployment into that zone of my career sometime later this year.

Anyway, the sermon was from April 18, 2004.  

You can check it out here (just click on the 'April 18th' bit that's underlined and it'll download for you) if you're interested. 

It's funny listening to yourself after that long.  One reason is because the things you're saying aren't really coming from you per se.  As a preacher you're a vessel at best, doing your best work when you're staying out of the way as much as possible, doing your best to allow the Spirit of God to speak to you, through you, for the sake of God's people and His glory.  So, it often feels like you're listening to someone else altogether and the points, truths, lessons, applications that are present in your preaching speak to you--on a personal level--as much as to any other audience member.

Also, as in this case, when the sermon is from five years ago it's strange to hear the person you used to be and to measure that against who you are today and what it looks like you're headed towards in terms of your personal development.

I realize many of you probably aren't preachers, but I was thinking I might suggest you consider starting a diary, where you track through how your life is developing spiritually, maybe making an entry or two per week.  That way you'll have a similar ability to 'visit' yourself in the past and measure the 'past you' against the 'present you' with the hope of positively impacting the 'future you' in terms of a righteous ethic.

Just something to think about.

And I realize it's potentially dangerous to quote yourself, but let me just say that I don't feel like I'm really quoting myself--the thing I said was totally 'in the moment' and clearly an 'inspired' thing that the Holy Spirit was doing in me--as a preacher--at the time for the sake of His people, so any wisdom or applicability in it has nothing to do with me.

That said, I thought you might get some encouragement from what was said.

The sermon is on dealing with despair and as part of it--in a spur of the moment moment--I said:

"I always say, wasteland is the best place to dig a well."

And that really hit me for a couple reasons.

1) Many of us are experiencing a 'wasteland season' in our lives right now.  Much of it has to do with the economic downturn and the effect that's having on us.  I know people who are losing their jobs or really suffering with a drastically decreased cash flow.  Many who have become satisfied with an abundant income as a false means to peace are now facing the harsh reality that money is faithless and fickle.  I also know many who are dissatisfied with their lot in life--many who seem to be trapped in a way of life they didn't exactly set out to achieve. 

Wasteland.

If #1 is you, my thoughts for you have to do with re-discovering the power and reality of Jesus. For many, other 'functional saviors' (MD) take the place of Jesus.  Your job, your primary relationship, your income, your music, your sports watching, your favorite TV show, your kids, your community work, your art--whatever--become the thing that you turn to for comfort, purpose and peace.  Of course we all know that at some point those things will break down, betray us, and/or outright pass away.  This downturn certainly seems to be shaking people's faith in things.  If you're feeling shaken, I'd suggest you remember Jesus.  I can say He's made a big difference in my life even in the past three months.

2) I've been thinking very deeply about doing something--a specific, concrete, thing--to try and address, in some small, locally-oriented way the wasteland that's taken root in my town.  I've even been thinking in terms of names and specific strategies and much of that specific thinking (even down to the exact name) has been receiving small confirmations or affirmations each day, not the least of which was the quote from 'myself' yesterday.  

The reason I point out #2 is because that same kind of 'leading' can (and probably is) happen(ing) in your life.  A key is to be open to it and aware.  It seems that the urge to make a decision or take a leap of faith builds up a slow and gradual head of steam as you wrestle with dissatisfaction or a renewed sense of calling and that, as you respond to that 'call', at some point things come to a head and stuff starts happening.  I've found it very important to respond to God's leading when things start happening that are very out of the ordinary, or that feel strongly 'directed' in a way that you know is outside the norm in terms of how your life usually goes.

All that to say, I thought it might help you today to be reminded that in a time of desert, when things are looking down, or you're feeling low or spiritually dry, you should stay humble, acknowledge your need, ask for leading and take steps in obedience when the leading starts to happen.

My wish is for streams in the desert for you.

T